WHAT DOES THIS MAKE ME?

I KNOW THIS IS A TOUCHY SUBJECT ,BUT I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO KNOW WHAT U GUYS THINK,I DONT KNOW IF I BELIEVE IN GOD OR NOT ,I USE TO WHEN I WAS A CHILD BUT I HAD VERY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME IN CHURCH AND SINCE THEN I DONT REALLY THINK I HAVE TRULY EVER BELIEVEDBUT NOT ONLY THAT MY LIFE HAS JUST NOT WENT SO WELL AND I GEUSS I JUST USE THE WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS LINE,IM AM SCARED TO SAY I DONT BELIEVE BECAUSE I HAVE 2 BEAUTIFULL BABY GIRLS AND IF ANYTHING IN MY LIFE COULD RELATE TO GOD IT WOULD BE THEM THEY ARE MY ANGELS,BUT I HAVE TO HAVE SOME SORT OF PROOF THAT THERE IS I HAVE ARGUED WOTH THE BEST PASTORS AROUND LOOKING FOT HELP WITH THIS BUT IN THE END ALL THEY HAVE TO SAY I WILL PRAY FOR U ALL U CAN DO IS TRUST IN HIM AND HAVE FAITH AND HOPE AND YADA YADA YADA AND THAT JUST DOES NOT DO IT FOR ME ,ITS SORTA LIKE I HAVE TO SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT ,I GEUSS I WOULD LIKE BELIEVE BECAUS EIT WOULD BE ALOT EASIER TO BECAUSE MY VEIW IS THAT CHRISTIANS BELEIVE BECAUS EIT MAKES THINGS EASIER JUST TO TRUST IN SOMETHING TO MAKE THINGS ALL BETER INSTEAD OF TRYINGTO HELP THEM SELFVES THEY LOOK FOR SOMETHING ELES S OTHEY DONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT I JUST DONT SEE WHY THEY CAN BELIEVE LIKE THEY DO ,I WONDER IF IM THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THINGS LIKE THIS ,I DONT BELIEVE IN THE BIBLE IT IS A BOOK WHY WOULD SOMEONE WANT TO LIVE BY A BOOK THAT TO ME SEEMS LIKE A CULT KIND OF LIF EU GO BY THESE RULES BECAUSE SOMEONE TOLD IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO AND U GET SO DESPRATE AND SCARED IN UR LIFE THAT U SAY OK I GIVE UP I PUT THIS IN UR HAND S LORD BECAUSE IT MAKES U FEEL BETER,HOW DO WE KNOW THAT THE WORDS IN THE BIBLE IS REAL, IT WAS WRITTEN BY MEN A HUMAN JUST LIKE U AND ME ITS LIKE A BOOK OF RULES AND STORIES THAT SOMEONE WROTE TO SEE WHAT KIND OF RESULTS THEY GET OUT OF IT ,I DONT KNOW ITS HARD TO EXPLAIN ON PAPER HOW I FEEL IT IS BETER TOLD AND THATS NOT EVEN HALF OF HOW I FEEL ON THINGS BUT ANYWAYS WHAT WOULD THAT MAKE ME I WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE BUT I CANT UNTILL I HAVE PROOF AND SEEN IT FOR MY SELF SO WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME ?PLEASE HELP ALL UNPUT GOOD OR BAD NO HARD FEELINGS PLEASE LET ME KNOW?

Christal, Hey there! I'm gonna take a stab at your questions here and hopefully by the end you will see some truth. First, you said that you need to see it to believe it. Can you see the air? Yet you know it exisits. Why, because you can feel it. Can you see gravity? Yet you know it is there because you see the outcome of it. That's how it is with God. You have to believe through faith. Faith is defined as "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen". As far as bad things happing in church; you need to know that the church is nothing more than a building and the people in it nothing more than sinners saved by grace. The spirit of God dwells in the believer not in the church. Even after someone is saved they still struggle daily with desires and feelings of our old nature. There are also people who claim to be saved and they are not. You said that Christians believe because it makes things easier. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have never had more difficult times in my life than after I became a Chrisitian. Before I was saved I was like a person in a boat going with the current, once I became saved, I turned around and am now paddelling against the current...and it is hard. We still have to help ourselves. We just pray for direction. The best illustration I can give would be "your children". We care called "children of God". Why? Because we depend and trust in him. When your children are hungry do they ever question where their next meal is going to come from? Do they ever doubt when they go to bed at night that they will not wake up the next morning? Do they ever wonder if the electric bill is paid or if the cable is on? Do they ever ask what will happen when they grow out of their clothes? I think it is safe to say they don't do any of those things because they have faith. Little do you realize, you have faith too. Do you think that you are going to die every time to drive somewhere? Probably not, because you have faith that you are going to get to your destination. The bible was written by man, but it was written under the inspirtation of God. Your right, it does give us a lot of rules to live by. But I think the thing that you are missing is that a majority of those rules are unattainable. That is why Jesus came to be the propitiation for our sins. It is impossible to make it into heaven on our own based on what we are told to do and not do in the bible. But when Jesus hung, bled, suffered, and died; He did it for EVERY sin individually. I could go a lot deeper if you want, but I'm leaving the ball in your court. Also, I can give you scripture to back up everything I said. I only chose not too because you said you didn't believe it anyway. Email me!! Love, Dawn

HEY I DONT HAVE MUCH TIME RIGHT NOW SO I WILL TRY TO MAKE IT SHORT ,I WILL TYR TO EXPLAIN FURTHER LATER ,OK WELL I PICKED THE WRONG WORDS WHEN I SAID SEE IT TO BELEIVE IT I GUESS I MEANT .WELL I DONT KNOW WHAT I MEANTAND I AM NOT SAYING CHRISTAINS DONT HAVE HARD TIMES,IM JUST SAYING THAT I THINK IT WOULD JUST BE ALOT EASIER JUST TO SAY OK HERE LORD U TAKE CARE OF IT AND DO SOME PRAYING,AND I DO NOT CALL IT FAITH THATI WILL MAKE IT TO WHERE IM GOI NG WHEN I DRIVE DOWN THE ROAD TO ME THERE IS NO NAME FOR IT ITS JUST A PART OF LIFE AND AS FOR SINS ,EVEN IF I WAS A CHRISTAIN I WOULD STILL THINK SOME OF THEM ARE JUST PLAIN CRAZY THERE SI JUST TO MUCH TO IT AND NO HUMAN CAN LIVE BY THOSE I DONT CARE IF U ARE THE PERFECT CHRISTAIN.AND I DONT SEE WHY U HAVE TO TRY TO LIVE LIKE THAT TO MAKE IT TO "HEAVEN" ,AND IF I DO BELEIVE IN GOD AND ALL THEN I THINK I HAVE LEAD A GOOD ENOUGH LIFE TO GET TO HEAVEN BECAUSE WE HAVENT REALLY DONE ANYTHING WRONG OR BAD THE WORST WE DO IS SMOKE (CIGG)AND CUSS ON OCCASION WE DONT DO DRUGS AND ALL THE OTHER BAD THINGS THERE IS TO DOAND WE HAEV NEVER STOLEN OR TOOK ANYTHING THAT DID NOT BELONG TO US CAUSE WE BELIVE IT WILL COME BACK TO YOU SO I GUESS MY BIG QUESTION IS WHY DO U BELIEVE BUT I KEEP PICKING BAD WORDS TO EXPRESS HOW I FEEL I JUST CANT FIND A REASON WHY TO BELIEVE BESIDES OF ME HAVING THIS SURGERY AND SCARED TO DIE AND MY BABYS BUT IV GOTTA GO I WILL POST BACK LATER AND BY THE WAY I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY RUDE TO COPY SOMEONES POST AND PUT IT SOMEWHERE ELES I POSTED HERE CAUSE THATS WHERE I WANTED IT SO ALL COULD READ CHRISTAIN AND NON CHRISTAIN AND BECAUSE THERES NOT MANY PEOPLE THROUGH HERE BUT I DONT HAVE TO EXPLAIN MY SELF ON THAT CAUSE ITS MINE AND I DONT THINK THAT WAS VERY CHRISTAIN WAY OF DOING THAT!!! YOU COULD HAVE JUST SAID HEY I READ THIS GO READ IT AND POST BUT NO U TAKE IT AS UR OWN SO U COULD PUT IT THERE AND TALK WITH OUT MY KNOWING IT IN A WAY, THATS LIKE ME HANGING UR DIRTY PANTYS UP FOR EVERYONE TO SEE AND SAYING EEEW THEY STINK SMELL UM AND IT WAS NOT RIGHT TO ME BUT ANYWAYS THANKS FOR EVERYONES POST AND I DONT WANT TO MAKE ANYONE MAD THIS IS JUST MY FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS AND I WONT HAVE ANY BAD FEELING S TOWARD YOU U CAN POST WHAT EVER U WOULD LIKE JUST LEAVE IT WHERE ITS AT PLEASE!!!!!

Umm...I didn't copy your post and move it anywhere. You might want to take a second look...it wasn't me. But I can say this...I am glad the person that copied it did because otherwise I never would have seen it and I'm glad I did. Dawn

Try this link. http://www.religioustolerance.org/agnostic.htm

THANKS I WILL !!!!! THANKS FOR THE INFO!!!!! DO I SOUND *****Y UP THERE?

Hi Christal, I think I understand what you are trying to say and if I don't you can always point me in the right direction. I grew up in a family that didn't believe that God existed and I also lived with a very emotionally and physically abusive mom so when my favorite cousin got saved when I was 18, I had a ton of arguments of why she was wrong i.e. there can't be a loving God because look at what He let happen to me. If He was so loving why didn't He rescue me when I asked for help. Why did He let so many children live in abusive homes, I knew how bad it was because I worked at Children Services at the time. IMHO, My journey to finding a relationship to the Lord is full of preordained moments. The first would be coming home from rehab in Minnesota during my senior year and being terrified traveling alone on a grey hound bus in the middle of the night. I sat next to a girl who must have known how scared I was but she never pushed me in any way or asked anything other than the basics and she let me listen to her walkman all the way to Indiana about 17 hours to comfort me. I only listened to hard music but the only cassette she had was a Christian singer, named Babbie Mason, who is now one of my favorite people. I have since had the pleasure of meeting her, sharing my story, and getting my picture taken with her two years ago at a Women of Faith Conference. Something changed in me during that ride, my heart softened but I wouldn't fully realize the impact for many years. The next summer, on the way home from a weekend 12 step retreat, I had car trouble in the middle of night in the middle of nowhere with no help and was completely exhausted and fearful of falling asleep on the way home. The only radio station that would come in was a Christian radio station that shouldn't have been accessible since it was only a small local station very far from where I was. I listened to it the whole way home and by the time I got home, I knew I needed to find out more! Even though, I hadn't slept in over two days, I stayed up all day reading a Bible that my dad gave me after his mother passed away, which was something I had never done. I started realizing that every time I passed a church on my way that their bulletins seemed to "speak" to me. God has a sense of humor and sent me to work for the United Methodist Counsil to do data entry typing. Since I was so proficient at typing, they decided that I would be more useful in the transcription department. So here I am a girl that still doesn't believe in God but I am typing sermons 8 hours a day!!! After a couple of months, I asked my cousin to take me to church. The Bible says that inside everyone that there is a seed of truth and that they will one day be lead down a path where that truth is unmistakable. I hit that place a few weeks after attending church regularly. I do not believe that being a Christian is easier for most people because they turn things over to God. I am sure there are some people that use that as their excuse for not doing enough but that isn't my personal experience or the experience of most Christians I am familiar with). Imagine being a type-A personality (ME!!) and asking your children to fold the towels and expecting them to do it EXACTLY the way you want it done and watching them doing it wrong and resisting the temptation to grab that towel from them and say this is how you do it; how can you not understand that. It is similiar with God, you are sitting in the passenger seat and not always sure of the destination, you want to direct Him (or at least I do sometimes that isn't very easy. It isn't always easy to say I have thought this through and I know the best thing for me is.... but I will just let you lead me where You want me to be. I like specifics, I want to know when, where, why, and how about EVERYTHING!! This road of choosing to let another person guide your path is definitely not easy for me but I wouldn't change it for a minute. In my moments of despair, I have felt His loving arms wrapped tightly around me. When I had nobody to depend on, I was comforted with the knowledge that He was there and that He hurt just knowing I was hurting. Being a Christian isn't about being perfect or better than someone else, it is about being forgiven. Below is one of the best explanations I have seen. I appologize for the length of this reply, I tend to be a bit wordy. I will not be preachy, my personal motto is "People may not remember what you say but they will ALWAYS remember how you made them feel" and I will do my best to answer any questions that you have or find someone who can answer your questions. You can feel free to email me anytime. I sincerely hope that you find peace and comfort. When I say.... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean living" I'm whispering "I was lost", now I am found and forgiven. When I say... "I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride I'm confessing that I stumble And need CHRIST to be my guide. When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and Need HIS strength to carry on. When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and Need GOD to clean up my mess. When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect. My flaws are far too visible, but GOD believes I am worth it. When I say... "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain, I have My shares of heartaches so I call Upon HIS name. When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner *****ceived GOD's good grace, somehow. HOW DO WE KNOW HE LOVES US? READ ROMANS 5:6-11 "GOD DEMONSTRATED HIS LOVE FOR US... THAT WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS CHRIST DIED FOR US". I didn't think you soundy *****y, just hurt that someone used part of your post w/o your permission. Have a Blessed day, Amber

thank u for ur help! i will post back when i get time to explain.christal

Did you get the private email I sent you Friday? Dawn

Christal- Let me begin by saying that you have awesome courage putting your questions out on this board, and I am sorry if someone breached your confidence. What does that make you??? It makes you a human. The very kind of human that God gave his only child for. Christ died for humans not the perfect, no matter how many bible verses they can spew. As you move towards this life changing surgery it is no wonder that you also want to put other elements of your life in order also. I truly believe that this surgery was an answer to my tearful prayers, and a way that God will help me to be around much longer for my four children. Let me be bold enough to apoligize on behalf of Christianity for the harm that was done to you. The Bible (which can be interpreted on so many different levels) says that there will be a place in Hell for those that harm the little one's (It is better that a millstone be tied around their neck, and thrown into the sea) I was once told by a pastor that the road to Hell will be paved with the skulls of many pastors. God can handle your anger, God can handle your questions, and God will bless you for struggling on this journey. Your angels are your gifts from God, and may they continue to lead you on your journey to find your answers. Be patient with your soul, it is the most precious part of you. In Peace+ Laura D.