Nurses should know better

Hi, I was wondering if anyone has had the problem that I've had. I was told the because I was a nurse I should have known better than to "let myself get fat". I did not chose to be this way. I have been on every diet under the sun including self starvation and all it did was make my health worse. I am not sure how to respond to this. I can hardly wait until my surgery on April 8, 2004!! To me its like telling the cancer patient he should have known better than to get cancer. Anyway how do you think I should respond to this. Thanks Linda

Hello, I've heard a mix of responses to having WLS. I think that people say things because they don't know what to say. My best friend is not supportive, and she has a hx. of anxeria. I said to her think of it like this...you had to go and get help for your disorder because if not you could die....I need to go and get help for my disorder before I die. I work in the ER and get a lot of crap from my co-workers, mainly the thin ones, I just let the comments roll off of my shoulder, because I know once I lose some of this weight the comments will come rolling in.... I also think that the media really plays a big impact on peoples thoughts. You always hear the stories of people who have had complications or died, but if they would concentrate on the positive stories I think more people would be supportive....Take care and don't worry about what other people say, just smile and think of april. Sheila

Hi Sheila, Thanks for responding. I let what others at work think roll off too. If I didn't I would be on the psych unit. I am lucky to get alot of support in other areas of my life. I have personally seen what can go wrong and how it affect people because I have worked with several patients with complications. It definately make me think long and hard about my decision but I feel I made the right one. I still have 10 weeks and can hardly wait. Hopefully by then some of my coworkers will understand a little better why I'm doing this. Its for ME not them. I wish you all the best with your journey thru WLS.

Hi Linda, I agree with your thought that it's like telling a cancer patient, he should have known better than to get cancer. When people ask me why I want to go this route, I tell them that if there were a therapy that was this successful for cancer they wouldn't hesitate to endorse it. Working on a medical unit, I see the ravages of diabetes everyday. After having diabetes for 3 years now, I realize that I don't want to live the rest of my life this way. My surgeon tells me that many diabetics are cured after this surgery! I did a medline search that confirmed this. I hope that I will be one of the lucky ones. Do you think that our RN coworkers think that we are taking the "easy way" out? In the long run, it doesn't matter what they think. I just find peoples reaction to this surgery fascinating.... Aggie

Hi Linda, I'm post op 3mo and down 55 lbs, I guess I've been fortunate, my family knows how I struggled with my weight so they have always been great. I was the one so hard on myself knowing that I knew better and knowing all the diets out there. Best of luck. Jane in Houston

Well it's not news to anybody that there's obesity discrimination out there. Especially as nurses, we would expect to get a little compassion from our co-workers. While some of them are very supportive, I've been surprised and rather disappointed at the mal-treatment I've endured as an obese nurse. I've been threatened with my job by my supervisor. She doesn't think I can hold up my share of the work load, despite being told otherwise by my shiftmates. And now that I'm having the surgery, (2/11/2004) she's made no bones about how I'm "penalizing the unit" because of my "problem". My first instinct was to haul her butt into court for creating a hostile work environment. My plan now is to have my surgery, let the insurance pay the bill and then when I'm physically able, find another ER to work in or even better, pursue my writing career. One good piece of advice that I was given by a nurse friend who had bariatric surgery is: "Forget you're a nurse the day you enter the hospital, you've earned the right to be a patient." Good luck to you all, let the journey begin. Bob RN

Robert, Hooray for you. Stick to your guns. You will do wonderful with this surgery. I had Lap RNY on 1-26-04 and at my 9 days post op appointment I was down 22 pounds. Your supervisor does not deserve to have his/her position. Discrimination of any kind should not be tolerated by your administration. Have you talked to your HR Department about his/her attitude or is that an option??? Sandy

I wanted to add that when I went through nursing school, I developed a back problem. I slipped and fell down the steps at school. I went to an ortho to check it out and he asked me why I was going through nursing school. I thought he meant like, do you want to help people, or like science or something. So I answered," My dad died from cancer and I became interested in nursing, after nursing him". He told me he just wanted to know, since I would never be able to get a job in nursing due to my weight (I am 5'7" and had dieted down to 210 at the time). He told me I was wasting my time. I could put a word on her how I still feel about that visit~would need to be censored though. I left in tears. Kept going because I was half through the 4 year program, figured if no job I would go on to law school, or something. I became an extern, jobs were available in the early 90's. Have had a job ever since. Unbelievable what people will say to you.

Personally I have been blessed with support for my decision. Friends family and coworkers all. The only negative response was from my MIL and that is typical of her. After knowing her since 1975 I have come to expect it.My best friend since 3rd grade was alittle freaked out. Just afraid for me but not negative. Hold onto your dream for you. I am so happy I was waiting to die at one point I just felt so sick and hopeless. Now I have a goal and I am happy. Laurie