My only legitimate beef with the skinny world...

In the year since my surgery the thing I do most when I am in a situation of being in a restaurant or some other place where people eat is “people watch."

One observation I’ve made time and time again from my people watching is that nearly everyone I have witnessed eating overeats.  Especially skinny people.  They eat great big ole portions of things just like I used to on my normal stomach.  They eat crap food.  They drink sodas.  They eat cookies and pie.  Difference between them and me: genetic coding.  I am predisposed to obesity and they are not.

 

Same thing with kids.  My kids are actually very healthy eaters.  I have been on the portion control bandwagon since before surgery.  My kids no longer eat off of dinner plates, but eat from salad plates.  I encourage them that if they are no longer hungry, don’t eat anymore.  We can always save things for later and they often do.  Their sweet treats are in moderation.  They do a lot of natural stuff like fruit and eat more than their fair share of veggies.  Both drink water.  I see kids on our block tramping back and forth to the corner store (my children see it too…resentfully sometimes) with bags of chips, cookies, ice cream, pickles and a bunch of other crap.  They are skinny, my kids are not.  Difference?  Genetic coding.

So why is it we are the ones who have a problem?  Why is it that we are the ones on the health shows getting coached on how to live right?  Aren’t skinny people still at risk for diabetes, high blood pressure and heart problems because of their eating habits?  Why doesn’t anyone try to intervene in their lives.

 

This is all a bunch of rambling but it just irks me how societal judgment plays such a role in how poor eating is treated in this country. 

AMEN! IT AIN'T FAIR.  MY DAUGHTER IS GOING TO HAVE THE SAME FIGHT I HAVE.  I CAN SEE IT ALREADY.

It never and still doesnt make sense to me.  I would think that at some point their bad habits would catch up to them and show in their health.  Plus it's just not fair!

Nik, although its not the exact same thing, I see a similar situation in the use of handicapped parking tags. Because I am (relatively) young, do not always use an assistive device (cane) and don't "look disabled", I get a lot of attitude from people.

It has been assumed that I'm using someone else's tag, stolen someone's tag, or even bought the tag on the black market. 

I think it all comes down to a feeling of superiority. The skinny society thinks they are superior to the fat society, and therefore can be judgmental. The able-bodied feel superior to non-abled. . . .

Or perhaps its the opposite. The skinny and able-bodied are scared of becoming fat and disabled, but their fears just come out as being judgmental, I don't really know.

EDIT: I have asked myself the same question many time, but I finally decided. . . 

F-A-I-R is a four-letter word.

Oh I totally agree with this observation. Yes we have a handicapped tag. We both look "100%" and do get the evil stares. I have a terrible knee problem and so does my DH(his since age 24 as result of an accident). People need to think before being quick to judge;opening their mouth...inserting their foot.

 I'll be the first to point out if someone hasn't hung their tag, but I usually say something like, "Excuse me, I think you've forgotten to hang your handicapped tag." thereby giving them the benefit of the doubt.

I just get pissed when people get all in my face assuming that I've broken the law or that somehow I don't deserve the tag I have!

I agree with you.  But, sometimes the skinny kids, once they are older - and continue eating as they were - get bigger.  How many women were skinny and got "fat" after a pregnancy? Hormones - that is what some of us get that reprogram our bodies and genetics.

When I was growing up - the saying was : " fat kid - healthy child".  So, my mother was trying to make sure I had enough to eat, anything I wanted. Results - I started dieting when I was just a teenager.  On and off ---all my life.  And everybody in my direct family was heavy, mother, father, grandparents, siblings, etc.  And nobody was on a diet...

Now we know better, but then, things were different, and when they could not match the quality - I would get the quantity: pasta, bread, butter, home made cakes, cookies, potatoes, etc, etc, etc.  And they would force me to clean the plate every time.  

Part genetics, part food choices - FYI - my mother was a great cook and a baker.

 FYI - my mother was a great cook and a baker.. . . 

I don't know which is worse. . .a great cook or a horrible one. Mine was the latter and therefore I would spend a lot of my extra money hoarding junk food that I'd bought on my own. I'd pick at dinner, and binge at night.

 Oh sing it Nik!   I can't help but hold a bit of resentment for my friends who can eat anything while I am here agonizing over every single bite.  Quite frankly, I agonize now because I spent my first 34 years not giving a **** about it.  I accept that and this is the path I have chosen.

Incidentally,  My husband is having his RNY next thursday.    The center of excellence that we are at is also a university so it is a teaching hospital as well as a hospital with a huge research department.  Timing didn't work out right for me, but my husband is helping them to do tons of research with his surgery.  One of them is about hunger (testing what triggers the hunger - they are testing his blood and fat tissue during his reg. diet, his liquid diet and then post op) and there is another one testing the affect of the surgery on diabetics and then there's one more that I can't remember right now.  I find all of this extremely fascinating.  Our genetic disposition, our weight gain... all of it.  Hopefully after all of this testing, we will have some more insight into all of this. 

Also, while I am thinking about it.... another thing that bothers me is when people loose weight the wrong way.  It breaks my heart.  The people at my work are having a "biggest loser" competition and I cringe at some of the things they are doing to loose the weight.  I can give info when they ask but I don't want to give unsolicited info in fear of the backlash or looking judgmental.  

All I can do is hope they find peace with their choices as I have.