I got my first "Ohhh Really??

So, I was on the phone with a very close friend of mine (who I might add weighs about 115 soaking wet) and I told her I was having WLS. Her response was Ohh really? I have to admit at first I was a little bummed that I didn't have her support. The more I thought about it, I realized that not everyone is going to be thrilled with my decision. I am kind of confused b/c she has see me struggle with my weight for the 8 years that I have know her. We had a lot of catching up to do so I didn't get to ask her why she wasn't happy about my choice. So you think I should ask her or just leave it?

Not everyone has researched it like we have, they are all victims of the ignorance that popular media and "a friend of a friend" dying because their intestine strangled them or something stupid.

I have to say that she might also not know what to say. She might not want to act super excited for you, and make you feel like "wow, she obviously thinks that I'm huge". Do you know what I mean? That's why I held off on telling people, except for my family, and 3 very close friends here in my local area until after the surgery! I didn't want to hear the negativeness from everyone.

Well, I slowly but surely told most everyone I am close to.  Startng with my husband.  I don't know if I had a hoped for response.  But he really had no response.  It was clearly territory - when you don't  know what to say, don't say anything at all.  

Turns out my husband is terrified of surgery.  It was just a LOT for him to take in.  He couldn't get his head around someone volunteering to go under the knife.  I calmly explained my reasons, and my desperation.  He did say something supportive, but I could tell the real support would take time to develop.  He rose to the occasion splendidly.

I would give your friend space to ask questions - and let her know that you chose to tell her because you need her support.

Another friend of mine simply withheld her support.  She just could not support it!  I GOT that she cared about me.  I gave her space to share her concerns, and then explained that I had all the same fears and more.  She has since come around (100 lbs later) and calls me her amazing shrinking friend.  People are different!

People who don't have an issue with weight don't always understand.  they need educated.

I, myself, have been known to say a spontaneous  "oh really" when I'm put on the spot and don't know what to say at the moment.

I think you should not view this comment as lack of support as it may have just been a "space holder" as a result of her not quite knowing what to say at that particular moment.

There are folks, like myself, who sometimes must think things thorough before being able to form a logical thought, so maybe give her the benefit of the doubt that she was simply caught off guard and really did not know what to say at that particular moment. 

Leave it..
1. You don't need her support, you have ours : )
2. She will never understand. No matter how you try. A girlfriend of mine suggested that I do Sauna to loose the excess weight. SAUNA was her solution for me to lose 100+ Lbs.
I don't blame her, I don't know what it is like to be a size 6 and sad not to fit into a size 4. (Her problem)
We are from different worlds and need different solutions to different problems. Trying to see eye to eye will simply not happen.

I would leave it alone. If she brings it up or has concerns about it, let her know that you've been educating yourself on this surgery and you'd be glad to answer any questions she may have to help her understand it herself. People who've never struggled with their weight will never fully understand what we have gone through even though they've seen us struggle. She didn't try to talk you out of it and maybe she just worries for you but for now I'd let her make the decision on whether or not she wants to get educated on it so she knows all about it and how it's come so far. So far, everyone I've told has been sooo supportive except my brother. His reason??? He knew someone who had it and struggled a lot and had a lot of health issues. Mind you, this person was a lot older than me and had a lot more health issues than me. Not everyone is the same. But I am sure it's bothersome for you and a bit discouraging knowing you don't have everyones full support. That's the reason I chose to only tell a few people about my surgery until after I had it done. I did not want to hear any discouraging remarks. It's stressful enough preparing for it and I didn't want someone putting negative thoughts in my head or trying to talk me out of it. You are doing this for YOU and nobody else. I wish you the best of luck and know that everyone here fully supports you and will be here when you need us!

I am notorious for throwing out a "hey, whatever floats your boat" after a stint of silence when I am not sure how I am supposed to react.  She may just have been taken off guard.  I am not saying that you are defensive.. don't take it that way.. but I think some people do get defensive about their decision to have surgery and may be a bit more sensitive to peoples reactions.  I was that way.  I am sure she just doesn't get it as it seems as if she hasn't had weight problems.  I do hope that everything turns out just fine.