OT - Depressed and feeling worthless. An update
3 
what this man dont understand is... u r having a major surgery and if that isnt enough on your mind. he couldve waited to throw and dump stuff on you after the fact . having his non-support makes things really rough . me sometimes can be so selfish . hope all works out for you hun. ive been there.. just do wht u have to do to feel better for yourself.
Yes, all of this drama could have come about at a different time (or not alt all) and yes, it's added a little bit of stress. But my husband has been and is continuing to be very supportive of my surgery. He is very much a man worth having around... he's just got issues that he struggles with just as I have issues (low self-worth, depression, etc) that I struggle with on a daily basis.
None of his issues have to do with me having surgery, though, and I'll say again that he is behind me 100%. He goes to all of my appointments if he's not already working, he goes to support group with me, and he and the rest of my family are accepting of the dietary changes I have made and eat what I eat at every meal so I don't feel left out at the table. He is very interested about the procedure, how things are going to be afterward, etc. And I'm sure he will be attentive to my needs post-op.
Honestly except for this ONE flaw I couldn't ask for more in the person I share my life with.
This other part is so very cheesy, so if you don't like the cheese, don't continue to read lol...
When I was a teenager, I got very depressed thinking I would never find the one for me. I had never been on a date, never been kissed, never been crushed on. All the boys in my school ridiculed me and used me as the butt of all their jokes. I was also listening to nothing but country music at the time (where I grew up, there wasn't much choice.) One night I got tired of feeling so down and I honestly prayed to God that night and asked him to make my path clear when it came to "The ONE."
I asked Him to make it perfectly clear to me who I was meant to spend the rest of my life with by 1.) Leading me directly to The One. And 2.) I asked that The One be the one to pursue me, not the other way around.
I don't know how many of you are religious, but there are so many things that had to happen at a certain time for me to have even met my husband. After I graduated, my Dad made the executive and sudden decision to move himself and my siblings to Colorado, and out of all the cities/towns in Colorado, he picked Grand Junction. I went off to college in KS on a full-ride scholarship in the Theatre program and thought that I would be happy. Turns out the Theatre program was terrible and just not worth the full ride they offered me. The advisor also had me taking so many theatre courses and so few gen ed's that it would have taken me 6 years to obtain my Associate's degree! So I dropped out and moved in with some friends. After a few months, those friends decided to divorce. If the wife would have been the one to stay in the apartment and not her husband, I would have stayed there as well. But since I didn't like her husband and because my mom had no room at her place to take me in, I moved 12 hours away to CO to live with my dad. In 2004, I started working at a great place and made some great friends. I got fired from that job and 2 others in 2006. At that point I was living with some friends I made at my first job in CO who were dating each other. The guy had a second PT job at a Pizza Hut and ended up getting me a job there when I lost my 3rd job in 2006. Pizza Hut is where I met my husband...
His story is similar. Many things that could have happened for him that never did, etc. All these things combined with the fact that I wasn't even looking or thinking about love at the time, and that he was the one to pursue me are what make me KNOW that he is the answer to my prayer that I said so many years ago. He loves me just as I am and will love me no matter what I look like.
I'm sorry this turned out to be so long but I felt like sharing a little more of our story to try and add some clarification.
None of his issues have to do with me having surgery, though, and I'll say again that he is behind me 100%. He goes to all of my appointments if he's not already working, he goes to support group with me, and he and the rest of my family are accepting of the dietary changes I have made and eat what I eat at every meal so I don't feel left out at the table. He is very interested about the procedure, how things are going to be afterward, etc. And I'm sure he will be attentive to my needs post-op.
Honestly except for this ONE flaw I couldn't ask for more in the person I share my life with.
This other part is so very cheesy, so if you don't like the cheese, don't continue to read lol...
When I was a teenager, I got very depressed thinking I would never find the one for me. I had never been on a date, never been kissed, never been crushed on. All the boys in my school ridiculed me and used me as the butt of all their jokes. I was also listening to nothing but country music at the time (where I grew up, there wasn't much choice.) One night I got tired of feeling so down and I honestly prayed to God that night and asked him to make my path clear when it came to "The ONE."
I asked Him to make it perfectly clear to me who I was meant to spend the rest of my life with by 1.) Leading me directly to The One. And 2.) I asked that The One be the one to pursue me, not the other way around.
I don't know how many of you are religious, but there are so many things that had to happen at a certain time for me to have even met my husband. After I graduated, my Dad made the executive and sudden decision to move himself and my siblings to Colorado, and out of all the cities/towns in Colorado, he picked Grand Junction. I went off to college in KS on a full-ride scholarship in the Theatre program and thought that I would be happy. Turns out the Theatre program was terrible and just not worth the full ride they offered me. The advisor also had me taking so many theatre courses and so few gen ed's that it would have taken me 6 years to obtain my Associate's degree! So I dropped out and moved in with some friends. After a few months, those friends decided to divorce. If the wife would have been the one to stay in the apartment and not her husband, I would have stayed there as well. But since I didn't like her husband and because my mom had no room at her place to take me in, I moved 12 hours away to CO to live with my dad. In 2004, I started working at a great place and made some great friends. I got fired from that job and 2 others in 2006. At that point I was living with some friends I made at my first job in CO who were dating each other. The guy had a second PT job at a Pizza Hut and ended up getting me a job there when I lost my 3rd job in 2006. Pizza Hut is where I met my husband...
His story is similar. Many things that could have happened for him that never did, etc. All these things combined with the fact that I wasn't even looking or thinking about love at the time, and that he was the one to pursue me are what make me KNOW that he is the answer to my prayer that I said so many years ago. He loves me just as I am and will love me no matter what I look like.
I'm sorry this turned out to be so long but I felt like sharing a little more of our story to try and add some clarification.
....pain can either shut you down, or open up the heart. You sound GREAT. Like you have a GREAT heart. Your husband sounds like a good guy too. Whether or not you stay together can sometimes be a day -to-day type thing. Only you know your truth about this. I do agree with others who suggest counseling - not because you need it - but because with the right person it can be so helpful. The support is priceless. When in crisis we can do impulsive things. But impulsivity can be like 50-50. Sometimes it's a good decision, and sometimes it is terrible. Having a counselor allows it to all pour out, where you can hear yourself speak and find out what you are passionate about.
If not possible - no worries. Sounds like you have a good expression of spiritual life... that is fantastic!
Thanks for much for sharing. Good luck! Sounds like from previous posts you have good support here no matter what you may do or not do!
If not possible - no worries. Sounds like you have a good expression of spiritual life... that is fantastic!
Thanks for much for sharing. Good luck! Sounds like from previous posts you have good support here no matter what you may do or not do!
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