I feel great today too!!  First, I have the best kiddos in the whole wide world.  Secondly, I am loving the new body that I am getting.  And last but not least, it's Friday and I got paid today!!  YAY  Looking forward to a very relaxed and quiet weekend.  Maybe watch a few movies with my daughter and may not get out of my pjs except to go to church on Sunday !! 

WOOT for payday! It's not mine but still...woot!

 Great idea Nik 

I am feeling Amazing today! I am finally seeing myself as something other then the FAT girl. I am actually looking pretty good I think.

My sons meds are really starting to work for him. So not as stressed about problems this yr at school.

Hubby and I have a wonderful relationship but it is at a whole new level. Which I have to say rocks. I mean last night he chased me around the house trying to tickle me...I haven't had so much silly fun in a long time. 

The kids got the school shoes they wanted...thanks to my sister...I could not afford 80 a pair for 3 kids.. So I am lucky to have angels in my life.

I applied for a few part-time jobs and I am not worried how they will look at me when I walk in.

I am also very greatful for the friendships I have made thru this site. 

I feel truly blesssed

You do look pretty darned awesome. Just sayin.

 Thanks Girl!

I feel great today. This says a lot considering that it has been a tough week with a death in the family. Yesterday and the day before were spent in vieings and funerals with tough emotions and exhaustion, lack of sleep and grieving.

But today I am home, and though there is still lingering sadness, I am in my own time and space, have had a very restful night's sleep. I have a day in front of me, the weather is beautiful, and I plan on going on a bike ride in an hour or so.

Looking back on the last few days I am deeply proud of me. In the past when life would take a turn like this I would eat to fill the loss. I would use the loss as an excuse to make the worst choices I could find and numb out the feeling of emotional pain. But despite traveling, despite the sadness, despite eating in restaurants with almost nothing BUT terrible choices, I ate on plan.

I saw family I haven't seen in years and they were stunned by the change in me, both in weight and in energy. I felt like I looked really good, was complimented by many, and through a lot of old family photos and a lot of discussion about how much I looked like the relative that passed away, even made some psychological progress in understanding my own relationship with my body image and inched forward in correcting some of the negative image that I have carried around all my life.

I was fit enough to take excellent care of all of my elderly relatives, hauling luggage up and down stairs, being present in their needs and being emotionally healthy enough to help them in their grief. I was self confident and non-anxious enough to get up and speak in tribute before a crowd of 150 folks, and courageous enough to just cope with my grief by actually feeling it, and to shake the stress and tension when it built up through physical activity.

So today I feel great. My boss was awesome enough to give me the last three days off paid despite the fact that the death did not qualify for a bereavement leave. I have today to recoup and get back into life quietly and give my brain a rest. I'm looking forward to spending the weekend with my husband. He and I had been having some troubles in the last few months getting on the same wavelength. It's not been a dealbreaker in our marriage or anything, but our physical energy, and emotional energy has differed greatly and it's been tough to stay as connected as we usually are. He's on the waiting list for his WLS surgery, and it won't come very soon. But, after our vacation a few weeks ago we're back on track, and have mindfully developed some communications tools to help us stay engaged. Those tools are working great, and producing lots of together time, lots of fun, and some good physical engagement too (both in terms of exercise and... *ahem*... sex :) ).

So yeah, I think I feel great not just in spite of frustrations but *because* of the way I am newly capable and newly dedicated (and my husband too) of dealing with all of the obstacles in life.

thanks for prompting this reply, it's good to reflect on it. :)

 LOL, OK, so I go out for my bike ride (15K in total, woohoo!) and I go down to this park near the waterfront. I stoped for a few minutes to cool down and have a drink of water. A guy with two dogs comes by and looks over and then compliments my bike. We have a pleasant chat for about 10 minutes about it and then at the end he cuts the conversation a slight bit short and says "sorry to have kept you so long". He wishes me a good ride and heads off with his dogs.

I get back on my bike and continue, pleased to be out in the beautiful weather and thankful to be back in a place where I am no longer anxious with strangers (I struggled a bit with agoraphobia at my highest weight). An hour and a half later as I was putting my bike away in my garage, I realize that the guy cut the conversation short immediately after I mentioned my husband... and that when I replay the conversation, I think it's actually likely that he was flirting with me. 

WOW! I mean, that makes me almost totally oblivious, and I wouldn't be interested anyway - there no other byt my hubby for me - but I don't even remember the last time something like that happened!

So I am upgrading my "great" to "AMAZING"!

I am usually a "fake it til you make it" kinda gal, but today I am honestly sad.  While I can see positives (which I will cover), I have to be honest and face my sadness today. 

Last week, my youngest son (age 24) left for Chicago to go to school.  He has been accepted at Le Cordon Bleu in their Associates program to become a chef.  I am excited for him as he starts this chapter of his life, but its hard to not feel sad that he's gone.  I didn't think I would, but I miss him a lot.  He has lived with me for the past 2 years and the house seems empty without him.  He has always been the funny guy...making me laugh every day with his jokes and antics.

Then today, my boyfriend of almost 2 years moved away to pursue job opportunities.  I live in Gainesville, Florida which is a college town with few opportunities for employment.  We knew for several months today would arrive and I thought I had prepared myself for his departure.  I know this will pass and I know I will go on...just right now, I'm dealing with my emotions without my old partner in crime...FOOD. 

For positives, I found out this morning I am being promoted which is a great thing.  I am happy about that, but its being over-shadowed by my sense of loss right now.  I will celebrate soon though.  Also, I know that when God closes one door, he opens a window.  I'm just trying to face my emotions head on rather than ignoring them or denying them.  That will make it easier for me to look forward to what is coming next without the feeling I should jump out of that window!  LOL...ok...that's a joke and I'm not suicidal. 

Thanks for the positive attitude, Nik.  I try to stay upbeat but sometimes its better to grieve and then move on than ignore the hurt!

I'm so glad you posted this, Nik. 

Things are going well for me, too.  My perfect new husband just swore into the Army.  ( I used to be a Military wife and LOVED it!!!  Can't wait!)  He ships out in February.
My daughters and I are all getting along better than ever, even though we've always been close.  (I have three grown children and a 16 year old.. all beautiful and amazing)
Money is a bit tighter than we'd like, but that's pretty much life for everyone now adays.
I am down from my starting size of 24 to an acceptable size of 6.. and still losing steadily. 

I feel good, and I am SO happy to hear that you do, too!  You look amazing, but I have always thought so.  =]