Other people's opinions

But most medical procedures are a choice, really, aren't they?  Next week I am getting steroid injections in my back because my back hurts all the time.  Other people might choose to just live with the pain or to try some other type of treatment, like accupuncture. 

Exactly!

 

All medical procedures are a choice. we have the right to refuse any type of medical treatment.  I chose to have surgery to help live a happy healthy life, when I was diabetic, I could have chosen not to take insulin or seek surgery to help resolve it.  A cancer patient is not forced to have surgery to take chemotherapy, its is a choice that they make for themselves.  Society sees obesity as a weakness not a illness, therefore they think that lecturing people will make a difference, until it is treated as a disease, views will not change.

I told all my coworkers about the lapband, I told all my coworkers about my RNY (two different jobs) and I never had a negative reaction, but then again, I'm a bit aggressive in how I say things, so that perhaps they never had a chance to give me crap about it..heh

Maybe that's it - maybe people think they have a right to have an opinion and tell us that we should not have surgery because they view obesity as a weakness rather than a medical illness.

I think people are kind of like that with regard to mental health issues, too.  Maybe not as much these days as they used to be.  But a lot of people still think depression is something you should just "get over" or "snap out of" or that you can just "think positive" and be all better.  About six months ago I had to undergo ECT for severe depression and I almost decided not to tell most people that I was having that done because I was worried about how they might react.  In the end, I did tell people and I think my mother and my sister were both concerned about the treatments but neither of them would ever tell me I shouldn't have whatever treatment I felt was best for me.  I sent them some links to read and I think they felt better about it then.

i have  great support from my wife and family  some of my friends not so good i think some people or just jealous that we are taking action on are lives to get healthily and stay alive  some of my friends have wt issues  and said to me the other day that he don't want me to have the surgery because he thinks it will change my personalty and i will become a health nut like Richard simms and tell them how to live and eat   i just have to do what is right for me  and stay alive for my wife and family that the only thing that matters 

That doesn't really make sense to me either.  Why would he think that if you have WLS you will become a health nut and tell him how to live and eat?  Are you bossy now?  Would he have the same worry if you were on a diet?  Or does he think surgery is more likely to make you a bossy health nut for some reason?

i think he thinks i am going to get on him all the time about his wt and diet  i told him if he don't want to eat right and get healthy that is his choice  and non of my business but i am doing what is right for me and that is all that matters

But why does he think you are going to get on him all the time?  Are you bossy about other things?

If you decided to go on a diet to lose weight, would he think the same thing?  Or is it somehow different because you are having surgery?

no i am not bossy about anything i am not sure why he thinks that way maybe because he know its life changing surgery  and he worried its going to change my personalty and i will look down on him for being over wt   i told him my personalty wont change i am just going to live a healthier life

It never occurred to me either that this was anyones choice but my own. I think people will respond differently based on how information is presented, and how you handle yourself. ie: act wimpy and you'll attract bully's, act positive, and informed and you'll attract interested, supportive people. I also think it's important in life to surround yourself with positive people.

I was open with my co-workers. I received lots of well wishes in phone calls, personal conversations, e-mails, and  cards. It does help that I work in an environment where progressive, out of the box thinking is embraced. There is also a culture of mutual respect for differences which might possibly be why everyone has been so great. It never occurred to me that someone from work would be anything else, but supportive.

My family on the other hand was different. Some were supportive, some not. I had one sister make a snarky comment behind my back which found it's way back to me. I considered the source, didn't feed whatever insecurities prompted her response, and she quickly faded into the background.  Another sister was very concerned, and didn't think it was a good idea. I told her that this was a decision that I had thoroughly thought through, had gone over it with my doctor's,  and although I understood her concern for my well being, I felt it was the best option, and was going forward hoping she'd be there for me. She has now become one of my best cheerleaders.

 My guess is that because it is such a life changing surgery, people feel it is important to put in their 2 cents worth. I'm kind of glad I told people, because there were a few people, like my mother, who actually made me ask some pretty important questions before I had the surgery, that I may not have thought of myself.    I know there are still some people who I haven't told, even now at 2 years out, because I know they will be "judgey" and say I took the "easy way out", and frankly, I don't need to hear that sort of nonsense.  Good post of a good query!   :D