Head games

 I am 16 months out tomorrow.  I have been thinking a lot about maintenance, and it completely freaks me out.   It seems the more I worry about weight gain, the more I read about people who have had regain.. then the more I worry about regain.  It's like a vicious circle.  
  Up until now,  my surgery controlled my weight.  Sure.. I watched what I ate, worked out, etc.. but, really.. there was not much chance that I wasn't going to lose.  Soon, it will be all up to me.  Me.  The same me that failed diet after diet.  
  I can do this.  At least that's what I keep telling myself.  I have no reason to believe that I can't.. I *KNOW* the rules.  I come to the OH boards daily to remind me of those rules and keep them fresh in my mind.. but, there is always that fear.  I weigh myself almost daily (sometimes I forget) to try and catch a gain before it becomes a real issue.  I eat protein forward meals.  (sometimes I ONLY have room for the protein part).  I got an elyptical machine so I could work out more at home while the weather is cold.  But, what if it's not enough?  
  That's it.  Just me playing silly head games with myself.  If I fail, it will probably be because I have convinced myself that it's inevitable for me not to.  

Change the message, even if you have to say it out loud to yourself
every day. Clearly you're not likely to fail because you lost over 100
pounds and you are a huge success so far. I think a lot of us struggle
with the old, negative messages.  I say, "Out with them!"  YOU are
in control of the broadcast playing in your head.  Play what you
want to hear.  I envision changing a CD...click...in with a new one.
You can succeed.......you've already done it.  Play that tune over
and over and over...........