Disappointed..kinda long

 I've always had a hard time sleeping..since I was a child I remember having the worst time trying to go to sleep. When I was 18 I was on ambien however I got pregnant when I was 18 and stopped taking it..probably as instructed by my doc. In the 9 years since then Ive used OTC sleep aids and even nyquil to get to sleep..Ive hated how these products make me feel the morning after I always still feel sleepy and have a hard time even getting up. 

So after my surgery I had very minimal pain and only used the liquid vicodin for 3-4 days. A month or so ago I was once again having trouble sleeping and I remember how the liquid vicodin made me tired. So I took a dose..and within a short amount of time I was asleep..and the next morning I felt great. For me the vicodin made me numb and relaxed enough to fall asleep but it doesn't seem to have the lingering day after affects. My problem started here..since that first night I've used it every night to go to sleep of course I only had one bottle..and I ran out..I went through my medicine cabinet and found I had a bottle of vicodin pills(12 pills) left over from having my 3rd child. I moved onto this bottle and finished it a few nights ago and then discovered that I had a bottle of percocet and figured it'd do the same..and it has. 

Last night I finally told my husband what I had been doing and he was so, so, so mad/disappointed in me. He asked me why I was doing it and why I didn't tell him sooner and my answer was that I truly enjoy the completely numb feeling I'm getting from taking them and the fact that it helps me quickly go to sleep and not feel like a zombie in the morning. I am the daughter of a "recovered" drug addict/alcoholic..who has returned to drinking and now he abuses Rx medication. I've never done any sort of drugs before but I've done some research on cross addictions and I'm scared of going any further down this path that I'm on. 

I wrote this to hold myself accountable and admit that I believe I have an issue..as much as I'm trying to tell myself its really not that big of a deal. Today I am calling my GP to see if I can get in to talk to him about possible solutions for my sleep issues(I don't even know if ambien is an option still). My husband said he'd be clearing out all the medicine cabinets in the house of narcotics. 

Thanks for taking the time to read this..I'd love to get feedback on if you've experienced a cross addiction, and/or what you do for sleep issues. 

I've had horrible insomnia most of my life.  Um, last night I got about 3.5 hours of sleep.  I think I got about 2 hours the night before that.  I totally understand why you've been doing it.  You want to sleep!  And I understand not wanting that drugged feeling in the morning.  Which is why I have not been taking my Trazadone that last few nights.  I want to sleep but I do not want to sleep for 12 hours and then have to drag myself out of a haze for the next few hours.  I want to sleep a normal 8 hours, then wake up and feel rested.

I don't have any solutions for you, but I totally understand where you're coming from.  I don't know if it's a problem or not.  It could be, or could become one, so you're doing the right thing to address it now.  I hope you can find something that works well for you, and safely.

i too have sleep problems, and yes i find that narcotics help me sleep better, i have a bottle full of liquid vicodin that i was not able to take because it didnt do nothing for  me to dull the pain the first week home from the hospital, i was given percocet and that one was a relieve to take and yes it made me sleepy and i sleep like i did when i was single..i really recommend that you talk to a counselor we all enjoy narcotics because it gives us that numb feeling and its easy to get us to go to bed but the concequenses are horrible..i have 2 boys whom i love dearly and i will bever put myself in the position of becoming addicted to anything because they need their mommy, just like your kids need you...dont transfer your food addiction into a narcotics addiction, you did this surgery so that you sould be a better healthier you..please be careful and seek help.. as for my sleep issue im currently taking ambien.. its doesn give you that numb feeling but it does help me to sleep a little better....

addictions are horrible not only to you but to your loved ones...

take care and please see a dr...
monica

 I'm glad you posted and I'm glad you are calling your doctor.
Vicodan is addictive. It's also not a sleep medicine.
Talk with your doctor about what you really need. If I was your husband I would be mad and also scared..particularly since you have a more than greater chance of developing a cross addiction.
I will tell you than anesthesia  affects your sleep cycle for a while after surgery.
Good luck,
Deb >

I just want to congratulate you for acknowledging your potential for addiction.  There have been addicts in my immediate family & as you know, it can do a lot of damage in a family.

Be open with your GP, tell him/her what you've been doing & why.  I hope he can work out a solution for your sleep issues.

{{{HUGS}}}
Laura

After my plastic surgery I was doing the same thing.  But there was still pain...that what I wanted to believe. There was discomfort - but eventually I realized what I was doing.  I removed the drugs from the house. (still kept them - in case I ever needed them for back pain) 
It is good you realized the slippery slope... you stopped.. hopefully before you got addicted. 
It is nothing wrong to try to get good night sleep.  It is wrong to use highly addictive drugs... 

Please remember that any pain killers - when you stop using them may cause short term depression and more problem with sleep issue. 
My ex used alcohol to go to sleep... 

Ask your doctor for something for anxiety, when i cant shut my brain off i take klonopin.

I get additcted to everything.  I went thru three years of being addicted to pain killers, fentenal and actiq lolli pop pain killers.  I got myself off them.  went thru withdrawl and all.  I just decided I did not want to live my life like that.  It is a decision that you need to make for yourself.  Very much like the decision to have wls. It is a very personal decision.   Admitting the problem is the first step and the biggest.  Now you have to decide who you want to be.  Good luck, I know it is hard

I also struggle with insomnia and take Ambien. While I could tell you about some interesting phone calls and evidence of mid-night eating, I don't wake up with that foggy feeling. However, I am a recovering addict, drugs and alcohol. I had a huge problem with prescription pain killers and, like you, enjoyed how they made me feel. The fact I could eat 5-10 Vicodin 750's at one time was irrelevant. Heck, I had a PCP who would keep me stocked up (I moved on a long time ago). Prescription pain killers can potentially be a serious problem for me, especially since I had my surgery. The "rush" is a lot faster since all my piping has been rearranged.

My PCP moved to another network and I had to choose a new doctor. I stayed with the practice because all my medical stuff, including the weight loss, is under their roof. When my workouts increased towards the end of last year I started having problems with my knees. It was through that I discovered the danger of relapsing. I had a very candid conversation with my PCP, laid everything out on the table. She's been very supportive. With her and my therapist we've worked on a regiment for my insomnia and anxiety. The knees I'm just going to have to deal wtih.

I babel all of this to say you're not alone. Kudos to you for telling your husband. Talk with your PCP. Find something that works for you which won't put you into a compromising situation.

 I've had trouble sleeping my entire life as well. I can clearly remember my mother taking me to the doctor about my insomnia at age 12, and being told that it was probably a teenage hormonal thing. 17 years later, it's still a struggle. I've taken Ambien in the past, as well as Xanax, to sleep. Both work for that evening, but the next night I am faced with the same restlessness and constant *thinking*. Most of the time, just getting my brain to turn off long enough to fall asleep would be a major accomplishment. 

I don't know if any of you have tried antidepressents, but for me, Prozac has been the most successful way to treat my insomnia. I take it daily (you can't take an antidepressant "as needed") in the morning, and most of the time, I don't hit the constant think cycles and anxious planning/restlessness that usually keeps me up at night. I like this option because I, too, come from a family history of addiction and narcotic abuse, and a personal history of a bit of an addictive personality that has gotten in the way of work/school in the past. I just don't want to tempt fate. Even Ambien felt a bit too much like a nice high for me to want to continue using it regularly. Prozac helps me rein in my thoughts, but I don't get any kind of "altered state" from it. For me, that equates to it not being a "go-to" for self-numbing/self-medicating. It's not a panacea & it probably won't work for everyone, but I'd suggest looking into anti-depressant options with your doc & giving it a try. You never know. Maybe a non-narcotic can do the trick =)