Are the old-timers (vets) on OH Condescending???

 Count me in, and I don't even consider myself a vet yet.  Still so much to learn!

The problem is we DO sometimes hurt people because the TRUTH hurts. And when we tell person A some kick-in-the-butt-truth, there's likely 10 others who needed the kick in the butt. IT might be Person G who actually rubs their rear and a little light-bulb goes off (and this is why we do it) and learns something really important. 

But it just bugs me sometimes when person A gets all hurt, posts about it, and five of the others who needed the same exact kick in the rear, feel as if their being hurt about it (even though truthfully, they needed the swift kick).... so they reinforce their own upset as being appropriate, the kick in the rear being inappropriate, and then get all smug about how mean we are and how right they are in being upset. 

Rather than learning something that might help them in their journey, instead they do the opposite. They feel as though the bad behavior wasn't nearly as bad as being called on it and getting the kick in the rear. They close ranks and pat each other's backs for standing up to the big bad meanies. --- and CONDONE the bad behavior in the meantime.

Sometimes they say we should modify our TONE, that's it our OBLIGATION to post in a way that won't hurt their feelings. That we should think more beore we post to them, and it's WRONG of us to say things that they won't find supportive.

Well, it's WRONG to expect ANYTHING from a stranger on a message board. If what I have to share doesn't help, skip my posts. If you can't stand my teacher-preacher-guts, then block me, but if you're SERIOUS about being successful in the Weight Loss Surgery Journey in life, then you HAVE to accept that people who are successful at 4 or 5 years out just might know something you might find useful.

(jeepers, I really have to take something for this headache)

Not everyone needs a kick in the butt some are better disciplined by talking others by putting in time out. I think that is where this all stems from As a mom of 4 kids each one is so different just like every human I know. Some need the slap upside the head others react and learn better from a sit down conversation brought on by questions.  I personally am not a kick in the rear type it often drives me to bad behaviour. My mother understood that but the internet is not my mother, I remind myself of that often.

I agree, as a teacher I vary what I have to teach so more than one kid can understand.

But I get flustered and frustrated if one kid thinks is wrong for me to explain it in a way that someone ELSE understands before or after I explain it the way they understand.

If MY kick in your rear doesn't work for ya, move on, and if my soft-soap approach doesn't work, move on.

We just have to accept that people are different.

I'd like to chime in here.

I'm pretty direct. I don't sugar-coat a lot. I'm the type of person if you've lost 100 pounds and you look like **** I'm not going to say, "WOW you look great". I'll probably say nothing
.

On the post where I was called a "self-righteous douche"....

Someone was giving an example of their bad snacking behavoiur.

-Eating a king-size pack of twizzlers with two glasses of milk. It wasn't so much what she ate that was bothering me. Last week myself I was having a granola bar and peanut butter fiesta.
I get it we have eating issues.

What bothered me was the chick who chimes in and basically says 'it's o.k. slim people eat twizzlers also".

Yeah, one or two not a whole pack while drinking.

IT ROTS MY SOCKS when people make others feel good about harming themselves or doing things they shouldn't be.

WHY?????????
Would you tell a diabetic it's o.k. to eat an entire cake because slim people eat cake? Maybe they will lose their eyesight...but that's o.k. right? Many people wear glasses!

yes, yes, yes, love your way of thinking!!!! thank you

Oh hell, that's nothing.  I was once told that I had nothing in my life, was clearly a loser who had nothing better to do than post on a support board.

Ummmmm.........   Sorry for caring enough to stick around.  Pardon me.  Exit stage left. LOL

That is terrible!!!!! OMG....who would say something so terrible!!!

I guess we are ALL losers then; since that's what we all do on these sites!

I,for one, appreciate help, support and hopefully gain the people here as my "family" during my RNY journey.

Bren

Preach it sister.

I don't get to post a lot but I end up rolling my eyes at a lot of stuff on here. Add that to the exact same stuff IRL and it's enough to put me under some days.

did you know, prior to the 'Net my first online name (BBS) was Kittenish? Then I went away, and when I came back, I chose Lady Lithia after a character in a poem I wrote. But my first online ID was Kitten.