Troubles

I haven't been on OH in months but decided tonight that I desperately needed to come back. I've had one problem after another since having my surgery in April. First was all the emotional upheaval in the days immediately after surgery. Then I had problems keeping food down but an upper GI showed nothing out of the ordinary. They decided that I must not be chewing well enough so I started paying even better attention to my eating. It helped some but I still can't eat most meat. I can only eat it if its well processed in things like chili, soup and stews. Then I developed a strong metallic taste in my mouth. I thought for a long time that it was just my taste buds changing, as I had been warned they would, so I didn't say anything. It finally got so bad, though, that the only things I could stand to eat were potato chips and crackers. Definitely NOT what the doctor ordered. When I finally complained to the doctor about it they decided that it was being caused by the Lunesta that I was on to help me sleep. They took me off of it and put me on Ambien. Then I developed severe depression and, being an emotional eater, that just added fuel to my-poor-eating-habits fire. The doctors hummed and hawed then finally decided that it was being caused by a combination of seasonal affective disorder and the Ambien and so they told me to quick taking the Ambien until I see my sleep doctor on the 27th and to also use a special light to simulate sunlight when I couldn't go outside. I'm at a point where I keep waiting for something else to go wrong!

I've lost from my high weight of 343 lbs to about 220 lbs, mostly since surgery, and don't want to start putting it back on. I guess I'm in panic mode. Sometimes I regret having had the surgery then I think about how much healthier I am, how much easier it is for me to walk and how good I'm starting to look in smaller sizes. And because I've lost so much weight they're finally going to do the knee replacement surgery that I've needed for so long so I'll be able to get around even better.

I'm sorry for the pity party. I have so much to be thankful for going into the Thanksgiving season but sometimes I have a hard time remembering that when I get down. Any words of wisdom and/or encouragement would be especially appreciated.

Rebecca

Rebecca you are doing great. Your accomplishments well outweigh the minor setbacks . I'm not a doctor and haven't even had my surgery but I think I clearly understand that there is a Hugh emotional piece of this equation and you just have to go though the steps like any recovery program requires you to do. I expect anxiety, depression, insecurity, and a lack of believing in myself won't magically disappear for me. I plan to have these same bumps or mini panics myself and am happy to attend your pitty party if you come to mine. Keep your eye on the prize, revisit the before and after pages and celebrate your progress. A neg upper GI is great! a metallic taste is a gift in weight loss for life. You can do it. I believe in you if you can't right now

I am sorry to hear of all the negative things you are experiencing.  The only advice I have is to keep thinking of the positive with how much better your physical health is now.  You have lost a person in pounds - congrats! 

Rebecca,

By reading your post and what you have already been through. You are much stronger than you think! Look at what you have been thru already... wowza! Bless your heart this posting blessed me tonight. Pity party ... your truth is just that your truth dont be dismissive of the ups and downs of this journey. Its hard as heck to remember the most important part of the process.... US!!

Thank you for sharing and just so you know you gave me encouragement tonight. Speak victory over your situation and celebrate where you have come from... and just give yourself a break. I struggle with being so critical of myself and not recognizing what i have already accomplished. So you are not alone in your struggle believe me. I have been feeling less than great for the past few months due to health setbacks and feeling like i have failed. And a very nice to me to get over it and give myself a break. Simple words but very profound... as I would never be as hard on someone else as I am on myself. Feel better and just know someone is wishing you well tonight.

Mood swings usually happen to female post ops, and a good percentage of patients develop depression--either short term or long term.  So that isn't unusual for newer post ops.  Learning to eat can be a challenge, and I personally know multiple post ops in my support groups who went through this.  I just spoke to a woman last night that is 6 1/2 mo. post op and still has issues finding food "she likes" and is able to drink 64 oz of water a day.  SAD was just discussed a my support group last night.  Whether you had WLS or not, SAD is an issue some people have issues with, especially this time of year.  I assume you've started taking meds, with the diagnosis of depression.  You have to remember that it takes a minimum of 6 weeks for any antidepressant to offer relief from depression. Then adjustments to dosages may be needed, or you may find that antidepressant isn't working too well, and have to try another for 6 weeks to see if the newer med offers you releif from depression.

You may have to look at solid foods as "medicine".. Medicine isn't designed to taste good, but offers a solution to a medical issue. It's the same with food--it may not need like the taste, but the benefits of food far outweigh the complications for not eating correctly.  I'd strongly urge you to attend support groups near you to help you through these trying times. DAVE

Hey Rebecca !!! ... I sent you three emails early this morning with LOTS of great resources ... You are NOT alone girl ... HUGS - Annie

Thank you, Everyone, for your responses. With the light of day the pressure has eased up some but I know that once it gets dark it will all come rolling back. I will continue to read and reread your messages to help me through. Thank you again!

Rebecca