What to tell my daughter?

My surgery is on Feb 11th and I'm wondering if any of you would suggest discussing it with my daughter. She is 3.5 years old. I want her to understand that daddy is going to the DR to get healthy, but I dont wanna freak her out.

 

Suggestions?

I would stick to that...at 3.5, she won't understand much more anyway...other than having boo boos that she can help take care of.

I agree with the above poster. Keep it simple that you will be going to the hospital for a couple of days to get healthier. You can go into more detail when she gets older.

Also, Hello fellow Bay Area RNY'er. :-)

My sons about the same age.... he knew i was going to the drs and that i was gonna have booboos on my belly but that they would get better and that he would have to b carefull w mommy and no picking him up but lots of sit down cuddles happened. It was kinda a joke w him that mommys butt was gonna get smaller and that it did cause he can no longer sit on it when hes on my back lol. He says mommy hold on now im falling instead of sitting on my 'shelf'

I have 3 kids 9,6 and 5. I told them that Mommy was going to go see a dr to help me loose weight. And that after my surgery I would be able to start doing more things with them like go to King's Island and the water parks, play out in the yard with them and so much more stuff that I haven't been able to do because of my weight. I have focused on the positive and not the negative. Give her something to look forward to after your surgery.

I would wait until a few days before surgery, then tell her the doctor will be operating on your tummy to make you healthy.  Tell her you will stay all night at the hospital for a night or two and tell her who will be taking are of her while you're there.  When you come home, tell her you have a boo boo on your tummy and she needs to be gentle.

My daughter had just turned 5 and I didn't tell her anything. I didn't want her to worry and I couldn't promise her that everything would be ok. So when I awoke after surgery and everything was ok, and I was walking around, etc., my mom brought her to visit me. My mom told her that I was in the hospital because I had surgery. She started crying, and my mom told her that I was just fine and walking around and that they were coming to visit me. She was apprehensive when she first got there, but I asked her if she wanted to walk around with me, she did. Everything was fine after that. She doesn't really know why I had surgery (I don't like to focus on weight with her around), but she knows I have a new stomach to make me healthier.

How you tell her is as important as what you tell her. If you say it in an upbeat and happy manner then she will feel good. If you tell her in a serious manner where she is going to feel stress or anxiety then she is going to be stressed and upset.

Happy surgery!

Martha 

 

I agree with the other posters about keeping it very simple.  My experience with little ones is that they can become very anxious about things they do not fully comprehend, so I would make light of it as much as possible.  Impart information but not emotion if this makes sense.

Wishing your family a safe journey. 

My daughter was almost 3 when I had my surgery and unfortunately she has seen her fair share of dr's in her short life. So we told her as we tell her when she had to go to the dr that Mommy had to go to the dr so he can make her better. Then when I came home she was told that she had to be careful because i had a booboo on my tummy. She understood just enough to be gentle and would tell people that the Dr had to fix me because I was sick. She would even come over and kiss my booboo to make it feel better.