Looking into eyes!!

I was walking today at our local trails. I notice everytime I pass by someone, I feel ashamed. I wonder what they think of me. Yes, I have lost weight before and since my surgery. I can't wait to be able to see people and not be self conscious. I know they see this fat woman walking. I did push through those feelings today. INstead of kepp oweing my head and not make eye contact, I said hello to everyone I met. I was proud for doing tha. I just can't wait to get to the point of not feeling like I can't look people that do not know me in the eye.

That was suppose to say instead of keep bowing my head!! Sometimes my fingers have a mind of their own!!!

I understand. This is why I haven't joined a gym. I feel like people will just look at me / laugh at the super obese girl trying to lose weight. There is a huge hiking hill that people go on near me. Hopefully i can work my way up to actually trying it.

I have joined a gym but it has been over a month since i've been. The only reason I joined is because it is a 24 hour gym!!! That way I can go whenever I want. I have figured out that not many people go to the gym at 4 am. lol 

Bah, weight is only a number, and size is relative.  My totally awesome trainer whom I love to pieces (and can't wait to be able to see again!!) lost 100 lbs herself (no WLS), and wants to lose about another 100.  We probably make quite a pair when working out together, but both of us are just fine with that.  Me, when I see heavier people working out, think "good for them!", not anything derogatory.  Not sure how I got to that stage; I used to be self-conscious like you describe.  Maybe I've aged out of it some?  I've learned (somehow, not sure how) to put me first and to just do it in terms of going to the gym, regardless of who's there, and put my time in and be proud of myself for doing so, even if I'm not going nearly as fast or for as long as the skinny minny next to me.  Can't wait to go back!  (probably another week before it's a good idea to contemplate though, given how recent my surgery was).  The way I figure, I'm there for *me*, and if anyone else has a problem with that, that's on them, not on me.  Can you tell I've been in therapy for a while? :)

I never looked people in the eye, never wanted attention on me so I so understand what you are saying.
I still am so mad at myself for caring so much what perfect strangers thought about me.
Why?
I didn't go to a gym because that is where all the skinny people are. Why are they still there? They are done. Time to move on and let those of us who are fat to come in.....then it occurred to me, duh, they are still there to stay in shape.
Now when I'm in the gym I love to see heavy people come in and bust butt! I just want to cheer!
It is so not how I thought it would be and I regret not working out before surgery because of my insecurities.
Please throw back your shoulders, keep your head and eyes raised and smile! You will gain confidence and anyone who might still be rude to you you have to learn to let it slide off your back. They have their own insecurities that make them think they can be cruel or mean to others. They are so not worthy of your time.

Then again your smile might brighten their day as well!

You're post hits home with me, I went walking at our local riverwalk on Saturday morning and because I walk alone, I make eye contact with people and want to be friendly because there are times I get a little spooked at certain places.  I was walking along, trying to make eye contact with them...the first two skinny girls jogged on by didn't even look my way, the 1st guy again, jogged on by...and then the 4th guy, not even sure if he was with them but put on the broadest smile and said good morning! as he jogged on by.....made the other people seem insignificant at that point....and just made my day....was feeling good about going cause honestly it's been a couple months.  I've learned if I don't shy away and look down that they will never speak anyway, but if I try...typically they will too.  If they don't, it's their loss not yours.  

Hang in there, it's taken me years and I still have to work at it....small talk is pure torture sometimes even with people I know because mentally i'm always going over in my head what I should and have already said.  

I'm a much better communicator written than having to talk....I get tongue tied at the drop of a hat.

Hang in there!

Sherry

I know what you mean. At my hw(224) I always felt like I couldn't make eye contact with people out of fear that I might catch them staring at my fatness. Now at my cw(132) I strut around like I'm the hottest thing ever. jk lol. But seriously I no longer worry about whether people are judging me with those "there's that fat girl" eyes. I am normal now and love it. Hang in there and before you know it you'll be strutting around town too! :D

 

~Sara