Scared

Hi Everyone,

I've been browsing this site for a few days now. I love it here! The reason for my post is that I'm considering surgery and I am TERRIFIED. I'm not scared of all the sensible things such as complications or death that normal people would be concerned with. Instead, I'm afraid that I won't be able to adapt to the new way of living or that I'll have too much left over skin and require more surgery. I'm in the process of gathering research from REAL PEOPLE like you guys that can help me make a well informed decision. If you guys would be so kinds as to share with me things you wish you had known pre-surgery that the doctors didn't tell you so that you would have been more prepared, I would greatly appreciate it.

I've struggled with my weight all of my adult life. Last week, I visited my primary and she referred me to a bariatric surgeon for a consultation due to some weight related problems. I will make the first step in the process by attending an information meeting on 5/28 and I'm super excited. I know that RNY is very permanent but I also know that it works. I'm leaning towards this or maybe the sleeve. Any and all feedback you guys can offer will be greatly appreciated!!

Welcome to the board!  I think it's natural to be scared about something as life altering as surgery.  It's also natural to be scared of changing the way you live.  I, too, was concerned about myself being able to stick with it.  Now, I am by no means a veteran.  I'm only a year out.  However, I can tell you it's the best decision I have ever made for myself.  I think you'll find that there are ups and downs.  This surgery is a tool to help us develop good habits.  I still eat all the time (every 3-4 hours), but now instead of chips I eat cheese, roast beef, celery with peanut butter, etc.  I have completely quit drinking soda (I used to drink almost a 2 liter of Mt Dew a day!) and flipped to Crystal Light.  I thought it would be the end of my world, but it wasn't....and after surgery, it was easy as could be to give it up. 

As for loose skin, that happens.  I'm not sure if it happens to everyone, but I definitely have that issue.  However, I'm okay with it.  I'd much rather have hanging skin that needs removed than to live my life with high blood pressure, pre-diabetes, high cholesterol and abnormal liver enzymes.  That's not even including the fact that I was too embarrassed to go out and live life.  So many years I wasted!!

I think it's excellent that you're going to an informational meeting to learn.  This is a great place to talk to people and discover what your options may be.  Good luck with whatever route you choose!

Hi Hollie313,

Thank you so much for your feedback! I thought I was the only one that was actually too embarrassed to go out and live because of my weight. I had trouble even finding a presentable picture to post for my profile since I avoid cameras at all costs. I was actually about 40-50 lbs lighter in that picture after one of my many failed weight loss attempts.

It is encouraging to hear that a year later, you're still happy. The skin only a concern for me in areas such as the neck and arms where people will see. I think the fat is far more embarrassing now anyway. I'm also going to look into some books and info that will help  me begin to adapt to a new lifestyle now so that it doesn't all come down on me like a ton of bricks.

I wish you the best of continued success on your journey!!

I am only 6 weeks out from my surgery and I had the RnY.  I may not be the best person to ask, the long timers here can provide better info.  But I was scared as well...it is a permanent thing.  Even after 6 weeks life is different for me, but I am okay with it.  I may have lost the ability to do some things that I did before, but I also am regaining a lot of things that are better.  I may not be able to eat pizza or go to a buffet, but I can know bend over and tie a pair of shoes or climb a flight of stairs and not be winded. I spent 48 years abusing my body, if I want to live another 30 I know I needed to permanently make changes.  Do your research and ask all the questions.  Ultimately you have to make and live with the choice.  Initially my family was against it, but I did what I thought was best for me and I am happy I did.

And most people can eat pizza after RNY.  Some choose not to.  Others eat it in moderation, just not often.

I don't know of any reason you could not go to a buffet.  You may not be able to eat all the foods on the buffet, but there will probably be some you can eat.  You just won't be able to eat three plates of food anymore.

I know I could...but I look at pizza as the enemy and the buffet as a waste of money.  I know there will be times that I have to contend with those issues I just will avoid them where ever possible.

Hi... thanks for your response. I appreciate you sharing with me. Is it that you can't eat pizza because it's not part of the plan or because your body physically can't tolerate it? I may be a bit under informed or delusional in my thinking that post surgery people are able to eat whatever they normally would and just not as much. I still have so much to learn. My family is not pleased with me exploring this option. They claim that it's okay for my BMI to be 48.7 and I shouldn't let  my weight define me and blah blah blah. My husband was originally against it but now that I have all sorts of pains and aches and unable to workout, he's on board but he still doesn't understand the severity of the operation. I'm grateful for boards like this where you can meet people that will not only share info with you but be supportive. Congrats on becoming a happier healthier you!

Depending on the procedure, you may not be able to eat whatever you want.  With an RnY foods with high fat and sugar content may cause dumping syndrome.  I have yet to experience this and I would like to keep it that way.  I find that I eat a much cleaner diet now and have stayed away from process foods.  Also, with the limited amount that I can eat, I want to make sure I make it count.

My wife did not understand the severity until we went to a final preop nutrition class where everything was explained over again in detail.  For those going through the process not big surprises, for my wife, she walked out dazed not knowing what hit her.  She had already not been on board with everything, but that sent her over the edge.  I got a lot of "are you sure you want do this?" questions the next 2 weeks leading to my surgery.  Does the surgery have an affect on your family, yes it will, but it is still a personal choice. At least in my own view...others may tell you different.  I reached a point of critical mass (some pun intended) and I knew this was the right decision for me after all the research.

Thanks for sharing. I'm also worried about how my husband will adapt to all of this. As of right now, he is very supportive and frankly, he's more so thinking of how this can/will benefit him. I've been thinking about doing this for a few years and he didn't want me to do it but once the doctor suggested it he's on board now. It's crazy because I never realized how much of a value I place on food until I seriously started considering this surgery. I feel like I should really be attending Food Anonymous along with the surgery. I'm 4'-11 and weigh 241 so I definitely need to do something. I've been reading a lot about how people have been craving for better foods such as fruits and veggies after their surgeries. I'm hoping the same thing will happen to me.

It might be hard to adapt.  You can try doing some of the things now that you'll need to do after surgery, like making good food choices and measuring your portions and making sure you get plenty of protein and not drinking with meals, so you can see what it will be like.

You may have a lot of excess skin.  You won't have any  more skin than  you have right now, it's just that it won't be filled with fat.  If you have a lot of loose skin and it bothers you, you can have surgery to remove it.  My loose skin isn't too bad and I don't feel the need to have it removed. 

Does your surgeon offer a support group?  Most seem to.  Attending a few support group meetings would also give you a chance to see how the surgery really affects people.