Scared

Hi Poet_Kelly,

I actually work for the health system that would be performing my surgery. They do have a support group and I plan on attending some sessions and attempting to live as I would have to live after the surgery to see if it's right for me. And even if it isn't, I'm sure I'll loose a few pounds along the way. I'm wondering if there is a book out there or at least a pamphlet so I'll know how to get started. Do you recommend going through the clear liquids and working my way but to regular foods? Or do you mean just eating how I might need to post-op?

Thanks!

Do you reccommen

I am in the same boat as you!  I meet with the team to start the process in June and I am terrified.  I have been big all my life.  I don't know how to act not hiding in the shadows or on my couch.  This scares me to death but I really want to have a life.  To live a life outside of my apartment. I see everyone around me moving on and I feel so stuck by my weight.  I keep saying I want more out of life and this seems to be a tool that will help me move forward and meet the goals that I see others having met.  I don't want to dream anymore I want to make it happen and if I don't then it's my own fault. 

Hi Rho-80,

Best wishes to you on this journey! We'll definitely have to keep in touch. I've spent far too much of my life doing the same thing. I made excuses to not attend parties, shop, vacation and all sorts of things because I was afraid of my appearance and most of all - How I would look in pictures. And you know what? I learned that smaller people sometimes have even more insecurities than us folks with a little more "insulation" (as I like to call it. LOL) do. I'm glad that you and I are both going to get a "tool" to help us overcome this. I know this isn't a quick fix but I know it will help us to have happier, healthier lives.

Good for you doing your research!  I am also by no means a veteran - Poet Kelly is probably the best resource on here!  I can tell you that this surgery is a huge lifestyle change.  As far as what you can eat after RNY, you can most likely eat anything you want after you are on regular food - you will just only be able to eat a very small amount.  I can tolerate pizza just fine, I can't even eat an entire piece - and I choose not to eat it often because it's not good for me and I want to keep off the weight.  I don't know if I can eat a lot of sweets - I haven't tried yet - but I have been completely satisfied eating one bite of cake at a party. . . seriously. . and didn't even want anymore.  You won't believe how much your life will change.  Loose skin is a concern - I don't think I will have a ton and I am not considering plastic surgery.  Shapewear is a good option for some of that!  Good luck on your journey!!

I'm seven years post-op and I can tell you that each day I have to make a conscious decision as to what I eat.  Like the other post stated, WLS is only a tool and if you don't take the necessary steps to make that tool work, you will regain weight.  I encourage you to go to the support meetings and listen to what other people experiences have been.  Support is so important.  Also, do as much research as possible to help determine if WLS is the right choice for you.  Lastly, if loose skin is a concern there are options.  Many of us ladies have become a fan of Spanx to help with the way our clothes fit, but if you're not happy with that, you may want to consider surgery to remove the excess skin.  For myself, I would love to have a tummy tuck and a lower body lift, but finances doesn't allow me to do that at this time. 

Hi Carpink72,

Thanks for sharing your experience!!! I'm SO afraid of not being able to make this change for the better. I've been on so many diets, weight loss missions and even to the point of starvation in my desperate attempts to just get to a healthy weight but nothing has ever really seemed to work. I think my biggest fear is failure and rearranging my body around and still not being "good enough" to do what I need to do. I do plan on attending the meetings and not rushing the process so that I can learn what my "new life" will be like. It seems like next week is forever away when I will finally get the process started.

I had 2 c-sections. I was cut both vertically and given a bikini cut and my fat looks horrible now so I don't think it can get too much worse than this. lol. I know I have a long time before loose skin becomes an issue.

Thanks again!

Congratulations on taking the first step to gain information on weight loss surgery.  I have not had surgery yet but hoping to in October, I just finished month 2 of my insurance required 6 month medically supervised diet. 

I have been overweight my entire life and been on every diet, lost wieght and then gained it back plus some.  Finally I decided that I was just "DONE" with being overweight and knowing that i am walking straight into diabetes, high blood pressure, etc., as these diseases are on both sides of my family with both parents having both.  My kids are young and I want to be around a long time.  I started walking my neighborhood and the treadmill at a gym but in the process, hurt my achellis tendon, partially because of the weight.  That was the last straw for me to proceed with WLS. 

So far I have lost 23 lbs on this diet.  My nutritionalist gave me an outline to follow of foods that are healthy, good proteins, good veggies, etc.  Foods are can be eating freely (veggies) and good snacks, low fat cheese sticks, fat free yorgurt of greek yorgurt, sugar free fat free jello and pudding.  What I found within the first week of the diet, breakfast and lunch were the hardest for me to stay away from bread/white carb items.  So I made the decision on my own to have a protein shake for breakfast and lunch with healthy snacks in between if I am hungry, and then a good dinner with lean meat, chicken, pork, fish, occasionally beef.  I am trying to stay away from white carbs, pasts, bread, potatoes, etc.  I also drink only water with occasionally putting crystal light or a sugar free water enhancer.  I am also working on not drinking with my meal, which is hard to learn.  The adjustment has honestly, for me, pretty smooth, but I have eaten some ice cream a couple times, etc. 

The other thing I am trying to learn and change my habits too is trigger eating, finding out what makes me eat when I am not hungry, bored, mad, sad, etc.  I am then trying to occupy my time with something, reading, riding the exercise bike, playing a game with my kids or on the computer, etc.

I have learned alot on this website and everyone on her is so helpful!!  Keep doing your research and going to informational meetings and support groups.  You will make the right choice for you.

Hi Daisy,

Thank you and congrats to loosing the 23lbs on your own and being proactive in this process. I KNOW it isn't easy. So, you rock! I'm kind of hoping to be placed on a medical supervised diet so that I'll learn how to develop healthier habits and life after surgery won't be so difficult. I've been looking into protein shakes and definitely plan on investing in them. I could stand to eliminate some "bad carbs" from my diet anyway. I am having a hard time feeling full since I started trying to eat an appropriate dinner for the past week. I've struggled with this for so long. I'm happy to see the light at the end of the road and meet other people that understand. I don't have a very good support system amongst my family and friends. They all think I'm being lazy and taking the easy way out. They all say I just need to try harder or the skinniest people will tell me "all I need to do is XYZ" that really irks me. So I turned to the web for support until I start the meetings and I'm happy to have found this place :)

Welcome to the boards!

It's a good sign that you are considering all angles of how this surgery will affect your life. I was eighteen when I had my RNY, and definitely couldn't imagine what life would be like nine years down the road. The vast majority of my journey is chronicled on my blog here, so please feel free to click the link in my profile if you'd like to see my experience.

My surgeon was very thorough, so the only things I wish I'd known are things about myself. Doing some really critical self-evaluation about why I overate, and dealing with that (or starting to deal with it) pre-op would have been beneficial. I wasn't completely naive or anything, but I didn't really grasp that food was such a huge part of my life in an emotional sense. It's how people in my family take care of one another. When I can't figure out how to make someone feel better, I bake something for them. Cooking is where my heart is. And I think it would have done me some good to think about how I would cook as a post-op in a long-term sense. At first, it's pretty easy. All you have to do is think about getting that protein and water in, but that's not how I eat as a nine year post-op. My diet is pretty normal, and it was hard to be okay with that. It was hard to believe that I could actually maintain a weight, because it was something I could never do pre-op. Learning to trust myself around food was difficult.

So I suppose I would have liked to hear more about life as a long-term post-op. You get a good amount of guidance to base those first few years off of, but after that there isn't quite as much support. Granted, you're used to the lifestyle, but all of us know how easy it is to let old habits and behaviors creep up. This community is excellent for providing that accountability and support, but I'd also recommend finding a group in your local area. And if you have any kind of emotional eating issues, start dealing with them now, because that's a tricky problem to tackle.

All that said, I am a very very happy post-op. Nine years down the road, I wouldn't change my decision and still think it's the best thing I ever did for my health. Best of luck to you!!

Hi Neen,

Thank you. I will definitely be checking your blog out! That's just the type of thing that I think I will find helpful. It is very encouraging to see that things are still going well for you 9 years later. I think some of the things that you wish you knew more about before surgery are the very things I want to learn more about and why I'm devoting so much time and attention to this. At my workplace, there are a lot of people that have gotten the surgery. We work for a health system that is self-insured and surprisingly, the approval process isn't difficult at all.  So I am grateful to not have to worry about all that stuff.

I know I have a very unhealthy relationship with food. I also know that I have to stop with the alcohol too. But I plan on being honest and taking whatever classes or steps the doctors and other health professionals want me to so that I can not only look better but feel better too. I feel like I've fought very long and hard and I lost the battle but the war isn't over. I hope to pick up a new weapon (surgery) and and win.

I hope that I'm able to enjoy food again because I really do love to eat and share the dining experience with family and friends. I've been eating dinner as I imagine I would have to after the surgery for about a week and it's okay. I'm still making regular meals for my family and just eating protein and fiber. Some nights I don't even want to eat because it isn't what I really want. LOL. Nevertheless, I'm just trying to prepare my mind and body for what may be about to happen to it.

Thanks. Keep up the good work and I'm headed over to your blog now.