Severely Depressed ;(

I am in sooooooooooo Much pain right now , I gave this man 11yrs of my life and he tells me he's leaving me because he is not happy with me because of my weight my heart is truly broken right now I mean I know I can stand to lose 70 pounds but makes it seem like I am just horrible to be with he said he wants someone that he can flaunt in front of his friends and be proud of this coming from the Man I gave (2) beautiful children to and with one I almost died I am just shocked right now I don't know what to do he makes me feel like dirt beneath his shoes with the things he has said to me tonight I am the most kindest person and so loving and would do anything for anyone I can't count how many times I have stuck by his side through all of his flaws including pass drug abuse , bailing him out of jail being to every court hearing, applying for jobs for him sending his résumé off to jobs and yet and still he's leaving me because of my weight this coming from a man who never once went to the gym with me when I ask him too he never once walk with me around the track or the neighborhood when I ask him too but he's leaving me because of my weight and he wants somebody he can be proud of, I'm in tears right now in utter disbelief....my heart is broken how will I tell my kids;(

Oh Honey, how painful!  God bless you and will be praying for you.

Nobody should judge someone else based on their weight, but It sounds especially from his past history like the issue is very much with him, and that he may feel more secure with himself by hurting other people's self esteem.  Disregard his surface reason (your weight) for leaving as much as possible.

Let us know how you are doing.

You deserve so much more April.  I'm sorry you're hurting but you just listed a whole list of things that makes this man sound like a horrible man (I'm sure he is a horrible man).  He shouldn't say things like that to you, he has a history of drug abuse, has been to jail, been to court, and you have to apply for jobs for him?  This doesn't sound like love, it sounds like co-dependency.  Can you make an appointment with a counselor so that you can work on making you feel better about yourself so that you don't settle for a man like this?

I hope you feel better soon.  

Sonja

I am sorry you are going through such a rough time. It doesn't sound like he has treated you well. If he wants a trophy, let him find one. Value yourself. When you are ready you can look for someone who treats you well.
Do not ever tolerate poor treatment. Better to be alone with self respect than coupled without it. Take care

Hunny he does not deserve you deserve to be happy and to feel loved and wanted no matter what size you are... My xhusband was ashamed of me i was never good enough for him or his family and even though it was hard to move on i did and i can honestly say i am so happy that i did i found someone that loves me no matter what and is very proud of me and so will you our lives are to short we give so much of ourselves and give so much love we raise our children and try to make sure everyone around us are happy... You will be ok i promise keep your head up high and take care of your kids and work on making yourself happy.... get this surgery done .. you have a new life ahead of you... A new you...

Love is blind, and right now u are blinded, u deserve so much better than a man who is so shallow he basis his love on looks and weight, love is so much more, and this may turn out that he is doing u a favor, there is someone out there who will love u for who u are, how about when we get old, will he leave u then for a show piece for his arm, it may hurt now, but, trust me,u have two beautiful children who have a great mother, too bad they don't have a great dad. Tell your kids for now daddy just needed to be alone, don't worry them, your job is to protect them, it will be hard, but really your weight, there is more to this picture, believe me it will come out, looks fade, love last forever and never dies,if he is like this now, u really do not need someone like that in your life, be kind to yourself, we are more than what we look and weigh, God loves us just as we are, cry for him, because he is the one who needs prayers, what is he some kind of jock, flawless, I'll bet not. Do not blame yourself, it is him, not u. I have been overweight for sometime, I did GB for myself not for my husband, u need to believe in yourself, the world has ridiculous standards and TV is not real. God Bless u and your 2 beautiful children as u take this journey and realize it is not you.

Wow! I really hope you aren't putting any of this on yourself. I know saying anything about a woman's abuser doesn't often fare well in the long term, but I'm still going to say it to you anyway in hopes this sinks in.  He sounds like  a total Douche Bag and you need to tell him "Good Riddance"!   You sound like a fabulous person whose only issue is not knowing when to dump a loser like him. As long as you waste time on this jerk , you're not open to meeting a wonderful man who will really appreciate you. If I were you, I'd pack his bags and have them on the porch asap!

Kat

Amen Sistah!!!  Exactly what i wanted to say!!  

Sherry

My advice to you darling is to let it go and move on.  No matter what he says you are not at fault for his feelings.  Most the time when people act that way they have done something their self to be ashamed of.  I know you are hurt right now but you deserve so much better and time will help you move past it.  Raise your kids and the right one will come along when the time is right.  You must know that people that insecure do not deserve you with your heart.  Praying things will get better soon.

omg honey, you just made me tear up..... You are WAYYYYYY too good for that "man", with or without that 70 lbs. As hard as this is for you (and for your kids), it sounds to me like he is doing you a favor in getting out of your life and making room for someone who actually deserves you. How PATHETIC he is... he wants someone he can "flaunt". Are you kidding me ?!! Is he in friggin highschool or a marriage ?!! The best thing you can do for yourself is pick yourself up, get your health back, and find a *MAN* that appreciates you. This isn't about your weight, he is only hiding behind that. You don't need some piece of **** who defines his marriage on whether or not you are "arm-candy" material. You can do this !!!!!!