Severely Depressed ;(

You deserve someone you can be proud of, not some druggie that you have to bail out of jail, not some loser that won't get a job, and not some idiot that only wants someone that looks perfect.  Guess what?  None of us (including him) are going to look like fashion models forever.  We are going to age, to get sick, to develop physical problems.  And I'm guessing the drug use hasn't done much to  improve his appearance, has it?

I'm sorry you're in so much pain.  I know it  hurts. 

I have to agree with everyone who has responded to you.. You are WORTH much more then you are getting.. I, like you was in the same spot 10 years ago with my daughters father.. Not only was he abusive, but he told EVERYONE the only reason why he was with me was because I was FAT and NO ONE would ever want me... Fast forward 10 years and a very bumpy road, I am no longer with him, more confident in myself, and have finally met a man who accepts me for who I am and what I have done(WLS). As hard as it is (and I personally know) you need to move on, for not only yourself, but your children. You don't want to set an example for your children of how relationships should be with this guy... I have faith in you!

I'm sorry you are going through this.

I had someone leave me because of my weight. I was devastated. He told me he was embarrassed to be seen with me and his friends.

When I think of all the things I did to try and please him it makes me cringe. Years later I married my husband when I was twice the size and I got bigger with him. You know he never once said anything negative about my weight. He loves me for me. 

I look at my ex now and I am able to understand what a loser he is. I can't even imagine myself with him now.

The best thing he did for me was leave.

April, I'm so sorry you're hurting. But his decision to leave has nothing to do with you or your weight. Period. If you looked like Barbie, he'd tell you he was leaving because he thinks you're cheating on him or you're too skinny. So you keep doing what you're doing (going to the gym and taking care of your health). If he's too dumb to know that he already has someone to be proud of, that's his problem. Not yours.

I know that it hurts right now, and I know that you believe the things he said to you. . . and I'm sure there are many, many things that he said that you didn't share in your post. But believe me when I tell you this:  he's wrong. He has taken advantage of your kindness and your compassion and your loving nature. You deserve better than him -- and here's the really important part -- and so do your kids! You are likely to discover that things are much more peaceful long-term if he's gone. No more posting bond for him, no more court hearings for his indiscretions, no more trying to find a job for someone who would rather let his wife support him. No more emotional abuse and manipulation, no more worrying about whether or not you're going to get a call from jail when he's late coming home. . . That, sister, is called freedom. And instead of devoting your time and energy to an grown man who doesn't know how to act right, you can devote that time and energy to your kids and yourself.

Right now you want to salvage the relationship, but I doubt there's anything left to salvage. So dust yourself off, because you have work to do. Your first item of business is to contact an attorney -- not out of spite or anger, but very simply to protect yourself and your kids. When your kids ask questions, you tell them the truth:  Dad has some things he needs to work out, and he no longer wishes to be part of your household. It hurts, but you'll get through it and you'll be better off for it in the end. Assuming this runs it's course to divorce, he will say many, many more hateful and cruel things to you. Again, this is abuse and it is unacceptable. Do not give in to his demands because you feel sorry for him! He is a grown man, able (if unwilling) to work. You have two children to support, and since they are also his children, he should be helping with that.

And this seems overwhelming and scary, because it is. It's a radical shift in your day-to-day life. But ultimately, it will be for the better. You're strong -- you've taken control of your health, and you've withstood all the garbage he's likely been shoveling your way for years. Now it's time to be "mama bear" for your kids, because you're the only one who's going to take care of them. Hang in there!

So give him his divorce, take him for ever cent he has left, loose that 70 lbs and then ...

 

You get the idea.

 

 

I went through the same thing with my ex.  He left me because I was overweight.   Yet when I tried to diet and measure food, he said that was not a normal way to live.  I know now it was just an excuse for him to sleep around.  I was with him when he couldn't get a better job than picking fruit off trees.  It hurt me so much and I was so angry for a long time.  Depressed and suicidal.  Thankfully I had the prayers of my pastor and family.  The old saying, "this too shall pass" comes to mind.  Because right now, I am so THANKFUL that he left me.  I am not thankful that I went through that kind of pain, because honestly it affects how I perceive people to this day (I am trying to work on that), but I am thankful that he is out of my life and I think you will be too once the hurt subsides and your life gets better.  I recently had contact with my ex after losing about 140ish pounds and those old feelings of insecurity came back.........................I cut him off this time and have no attentions of EVER having contact with him again.  He is not worth it! 

Believe me YOU WILL FEEL BETTER one day, just try to take it one day at a time or one minute at a time, love yourself (I am still working on it), trust your immediate family, find things that you enjoy doing and give it your all, keep busy.................. it will pass!

Praying for you!

He is doing you the biggest favor of your life! He is a loser, you'll be MUCH better off without him! Do what you can do keep your children from him through the courts as well, you don't need an abusive and manipulative ex spending time with those children.

Don't waste a tear over this loser, change the locks and get on with your life!!

When I was in my 20's, my boyfriend was like that. He would tell me the same crap. He cheated on me and told me it was because he was not attracted to me because I was fat. Ouch. He was an ass, but it took me a long time to realize I deserve better. I did find a wonderful man who met me when I was thin and has loved me thin, fat, thin with excess skin, and now thin with plastic surgery scars. He loves me for me and has always told me how beautiful I am. There are wonderful men out there. You deserve better.

Let him keep on walking out that door! And, take him to the bank! Noone deserves to be treated the way he has treated you...let him go find a young, superficial toy to flaunt on his arm....tell him when he gets over his midlife crisis, don't expect you to be waiting for him, cause I guarantee you, he will try to come back...especially since you two have so much history together. Chin up sweetie, you will be just fine 😉❤

I dont want to be insensitive or anything but you know what popped into my head? Dont YOU want to be with someone YOU are proud of? Guy sounds like a complete user POS. You can do better...let him go and dont let the door hit him on the way out.