Totally OT - empowerment?

I think that is a great idea.  When my kids were little I used to take them to the library to read to the therapy dogs there.  They still talk about it. 

I personally feel empowered when I set a goal and achieve it.  It can be something like running a 10K or learning something new.

I don't have an answer about the karate or empowerment, but I just wanted to say how ironic it was that when I had an x-ray or mri done (because I was in A LOT of pain almost constantly), my spinal doc said I shouldn't be in as much pain as I said I was in. I was diagnosed with Degenerative Disc Disease also. So frustrating when the doc tells you how you should/shouldn't be feeling (almost insinuating that you're exaggerating) 

Yeah.  I was really upset when the first back specialist told me that.  I think what they really mean is "I don't know why you are in so much pain or what to do about it.  I don't know how to help you."  But docs don't like to say that.  So instead they try to blame it on you.  "Well, you shouldn't be in so much pain."  Like you're going to say "Oh.  Thanks for telling me.  My back feels better now!"

From what I've read, and what I understand myself, pain is a pretty complex thing.  There is whatever is going on physically that causes pain.  But then there are neurological things going on, like when pain signals get sent over and over and over again, it can change things in the brain.  There are biochemical things that happen, too.  I have depression, have had it for years and years, and that has been shown to cause an inflammatory response in the body that can affect pain and also affect the immune system.  And then, when you're in constant pain for a long time, you might get depressed or anxious about that.  I sure do.  And I think that anxiety in turn makes the pain worse.  So it's much more complicated that just looking at the MRI and saying yeah, this disk is sticking out a little where it shouldn't be.

I used to have a really high pain tolerance.  I don't think I do anymore.  But you know, I had a natural childbirth, and while it was somewhat painful, I did not feel the need for pain medication.  I'd do it again, if I was to get pregnant again (but I really don't want to be pregnant again!  but anyway).  But I feel the need for pain meds for my back.  I'd rather give birth with no pain meds a dozen times than have this degree of back pain.  So I don't think it's just that I'm a baby and wants lots of pain meds.  But I feel like that's what doctors think.

That's really interesting about neurologically, the pain signals getting sent over & over again.... I never would've thought about that !!

When you doctor said you shouldn't be in such pain based on the MRIs, you assumed he was saying you were exaggerating. Maybe you have the wrong end of the stick on that.  Another interpretation is that, based on medical data, you report more pain than most people with that level of degenerative disease. That's not a dismissive comment, but a observation based on facts--all experiences form a spectrum. People do experience pain differently.  My orthopedic surgeon thought I would have to stop working five years ago due to my degenerative problems, but my pain tolerance has improved and I have come up with some coping strategies. (Financial need is a great motivator.)  I have kept working and the feedback from my work gives me strength. 

The chairman of my department in college had been a strapping football star before he got polio. He was paralyzed from the neck down, but he went on to become a professor at a major university and rose to department chairman. He lectured from his wheel chair and turned the pages of his notes with an eraser-tipped stick held in his mouth. Jim became a nationally known consultant to major businesses and investors including the largest insurance companies and traveled extensively with his team of caretakers. He inspired thousands of students to become leaders in their fields and they have since spent decades honoring his legacy. It becomes much harder to whine about one's life after meeting someone like that.  

I firmly believe you have much to gain by helping and inspiring others, whether it is visiting seniors, serving in a soup kitchen, reading to children or helping students find their passion and their way. It is when we withdraw from other people and keep company with only ourselves that we often get lost. Without that strength flowing into our lives, each setback is magnified because we lose the larger perspective.  Physical pain may not diminish, but its importance in life may be counterbalanced.  

Just some thoughts for you, along with best wishes that you will soon be through this rough patch!

That's a really inspiring story about The chairman of your department !!  What kind of coping strategies did you come up with, or was it just the drive to push yourself to keep working ?

I totally agree with everyone else that anything that takes you outside of yourself can be empowering, as well as anything that challenges you. You have a lot of knowledge, have you ever thought about writing a book or something like that? I know on a daily basis you are a huge help to people on this forum, me included. I know from my own experience that turning what should be a negative event in your life into something positive is one of the most empowering things you can do. I am in recovery, and have been for 8 1/2 years now. I have a job working with addicts and alcoholics new to recovery, and every day I am able to feel like a made a difference in someone's life. I mean, if you are able to truly help another person, even only one, what could possibly be more empowering than that. Maybe finding a way to really share your story of your WLS, health issues and whatever else is going on would be an empowering thing for you. Either way, no one else can possibly know exactly how much pain you are in, because no one else walks in your shoes every day. As long as you know that you are doing all you can, and being truthful with your healthcare team, that's all that matters. And they should respect that.

Good luck o you, I do sincerely hope you feel better soon, and remember, you don't have to go through this alone!

One thing that I have found incredibly empowering is to make a list of things I am grateful for every day. At least ten things...I have found that by doing that I try to look for different things each day. Some days, it is as basic as "my eyebrows don't hurt....." to  things that I get to do, a good movie i saw that day on TV, etc...I found that practicing gratitude on a daily basis , and making an effort to find different things each day, leaves me feeling incredibly abundantly full, and realizes more assets than not. Pretty much I feel grateful most all of the day, and once I realize how many things I have to be grateful for, I feel resilient, and empowered. Another thing that really helps me is to stop and sit in the sun, or meditate, or be still, for about 15 minutes every morning and give my brain a chance to NOT think... and granted this takes practice and is not an overnight fix...yet my brain, well, .it spends so much of the day thinking, that taking a break and just appreciating the fine art of breathing in and breathing out leaves me feeling like i can conquer the world...

not totally OT....when I feel empowered, I am less likely to eat incorrectly.....

I don't want to seem silly but do you think our senses are more aware of our pains after WLS?