A stumble, but not a fall

Never believe your own publicist.  I have been getting so much positive attention lately in regards to my weight loss... it made me ****y, I think.

What started out as "I'll just have a taste" turned into several nibbles, and a few bites.  COOKIES! And not even the good kind, it was Nilla Wafers.  I have been a model citizen of WLS town - WTH?

Yes, I was stressed, worried, and lonely.  Missing my husband who is on travel, running through my endless "to-do" list, fretting over my mom's impending surgery... started thinking about how good those Nilla Wafers taste with peanut butter and how I used to love those as a kid...  Jeez it is so obvious to me now how I let this get ahead of me, how I let my prior coping mechanisms sneak back in.  I have been doing so well... I have come so far... and I am so disappointed in myself.

Ok, time to shake it off and move on - this is a learning experience.  Positives: I did not eat the entire box,  Nilla Wafers (though nutritionally crap) were not the WORST choice available to me, I did not raid my kids left over Christmas candy, I did eat them with some low sugar peanut butter so it wasn't a TOTAL nutritional loss, and (possibly most importantly) I can see the pattern for what it is and can avoid this in the future.

Whew - glad to get that off my chest.  Could you please pass the protein shake...

Your Human Pathchic, shake it off and keep on going and try not to do it again.  You have done great so far.  I know I'm going to face mountains of temptation after surgery.  I'm trying to condition myself now.  God bless you, keep up the good fight.

It is funny how we still do things to cope with stress.But with that being said before you would have eaten the whole box.Then would have said screw it and ate something else.Then it would just be like a domino affect.I think when we stop ourselves and look at what we have done it is a good thing.

We are human.The other day I found myself eating without even being hungry.I was grazing.I haven't done that since before my surgery.But I had to shake it off and let it go or I would beat myself up and it would go on and on and on. 
 

Good for you to realize what you were doing.Have a great day.

What this has shown you is that you need some new, healthier coping mechanisms.  That's OK, most of us do.  So turn it in to a learning experience.  You've learned you need some new coping skills, so what are you gonna do next time you are stressed, worried or lonely?  Because unfortunately, you'll be faced with those things again.  So take this opportunity to put some new coping skills in place.

Yes, yes!!  WHAT are you going to do??  When I am in that same spot, nothing feels good enough to do.  Everything feels like a chore, instead of something good to do.  Even bubble baths, and nice stuff like that.

I think if we could somehow look for clues that that feeling is coming, or even pre-plan for it, then we won't be already in it's grip at the time that we need to divert ourselves. 

so.... Ideas for that???   anyone???? feel free to jump in....

:o)

~barbara

I suggest brainstorming and making a list of all the things you can think of.  If you have a list of a dozen things, then put that list somewhere where it will be easy to see it when you need it, and the next time you are stressed or worried or whatever and want to eat, instead start at the top of your list.  Work your way through the list and see what things help and what things don't.  Even if some of them don't help much, doing them will be keeping you from eating.  And if you put a little distance between yourself and the urge to eat, that urge might diminish.

I think it's important to remember that it takes practice to get good at doing something new.  You've spend years probably practicing eating to make yourself feel better.  So when you try going for a walk or journaling or something instead, it might feel awkward, it might not feel as comforting as food.  But if you keep doing it, it might start to feel more comfortable.

And yes, I would go to your list of things to do when you first start feeling worried or stressed or whatever.  Don't wait until you feel so bad you can't even think clearly.

Here's an attempt for a situation I have coming up:

My husband will be away this weekend. In the past, his absence was an opportunity to eat as I please.  Going back even further, Mom was so worried about my weight that what I ate was under inspection all the time.  So I snuck food when I was alone.  I still have a huge compulsion to run to the kitchen when I'm alone. 
 

So, this weekend, I am going to say to myself (starting NOW), that this is an opportunity to do (not eat) as I please without needing to cook for him.  I can exercise when I want, do my arts and crafts as I want and nap or whatever. 

I think this kind of talk starting now, and not the minute he is out the door, makes that actual moment easier.  At least I am hoping so. 

Surely y'all have some more suggestions?

:o)

~barbara

P.S.  Thank you Pathchick for the post. 

Oh, I like the direction this is going...

I am under my best control at work.  Even with tons of poor food choices available, I do very well.   There is certainly tons of stress and the stuff I worry about doesn't go away, but when I feel the downward spiral coming I have started getting up and walking around, taking the stairs, visiting with friends.  If I am tempted by something, I get up and move.  But when I am at home I am limited.  I can't very well go for a walk while my kids are asleep and alone, and I can't call up a friend at 10 PM.  So, the more I think on it I see that I HAVE developed some pretty good coping mechanisms that are working - but they aren't right for the times at home... very thought provoking...

This might sound sort of silly... but could you walk around your house?  Like inside the house?  Or go outside and walk laps around the outside of your house?  Or do some other sort of exercise in the house?

Do you have any friends that stay up late that you could call at 10 pm?  Um, I'm usually up late, want my number?  What about getting on OH and posting if you don't have anyone to call?

I think having a plan in place is great.  I like to do things that I cannot do while eating.  So, like, watching a movie is not so helpful because I really like to snack while I watch.  But doing some sort of craft is great because I need both hands to do it, plus I don't want to try to eat while doing a craft because I don't want to get crumbs on whatever it is I am making.  Or taking a walk is good because I don't take food along on a walk.  However, I am much more likely to take a walk and really enjoy it if I am walking somewhere interesting.  Like, just walking down the street I live on is not that fun.  But going to a nearby park and walking on a trail in the woods is a lot more fun.

What about doing something fun with a friend while your husband is away?