Deep thoughts on stalls...

Why do we obsess over weight loss stalls? Why do we compulsively weigh?  

My answer: FEAR

I am a gifted liar.  I deceived myself for so many years by avoiding the scale, refusing to have photos taken, never trying on clothes in a department store, "forgetting" to track food... You guys know all the tricks.

I live in fear of my inner Loki taking control again, becoming complacent... It starts with logging buttered movie popcorn as 96% fat free, skipping a workout because work sucked, logging in 15 pretzels when it was really like 60, and ends with abandonment of all of these habits I am working so hard to ingrain.

THAT, my friends, is why we unreasonably freak out over these minor things.  We rely on these external, objective measures to be our fact-checkers.  We fear that we are losing control again, and haven't seen the lie yet. 

And, just as an update, I have not yet broken my stall, and I am still compulsively weighing every day.  I did take my measurements, and I have dropped a inch from my waist in the last month.

So true....we do lie to ourselves....it can be so hard to face reality sometimes. And, I think it will/would be so much harder after going through the surgery and then losing like crazy.....and then all of sudden-what is going on??!! Fear is a huge part of this journey for me. I feel like I have a good handle on the whole process and what I need to do in order to be successful....but, always, nagging in the back of my mind is the thought, "what if I fail, again?" After all of this hard work...what if....it is terrifying!

My inner Loki is not tracking all that I have really eaten in a day or not going to the gym, when I should have, etc. So far, I have been completely honest in my food tracking, but, I have been selective in what I tracked in the past. There really is no point to it!

I also lie to myself in this way: I weighed myself this week, it is week 2 of no loss. I tell myself, that is okay, I knew it was going to slow down at some point, obviously. But really, I am freaking out inside!! But, I don't want to be...I am thinking just because I didn't lose for 2 weeks I am going to gain everything back, that leads to thoughts like, I might as well eat X because apparently I am going to fail any ways...such a vicious cycle. I am very fortunate to have a lot of friends and family to help me though these rough times and unrealistic thought processes, they help ground me and keep me on track. I would be in big trouble without them.

This is a life long journey and it will have ups and downs and I think to be successful, we have to learn to accept the downs as much as the ups and to be very realistic with ourselves.

Good luck on your journey and thank you for sharing such open and honest thoughts and feelings