TERRIBLE 1st date post-surgery...any advice?

Thank you both for the feedback!  I think I"m a few months away from really even looking (I'm still getting comfortable with my new lifestyle), but I really appreciate the feedback on the online dating and thanks for the great suggestions.  

Good luck DCgirl!  I'm sure this will be the first of many dates in the future, especially as you feel more and more confident (although I love that you feel so great now.  I'm feeling better with each passing day, I think for me there was a fair amount of shame involved with how I let my weight get so high and that had kind of taken over my mindset for the last year or so).  Sounds like coffee dates are a must from here on out!  Or more sightseeing, because getting in those 10,000 steps is an awesome side note!

I'll add that I'm pretty open about the fact that I had surgery.  It's not necessarily something I tell people on the first date, but I share it when/if it seems relevant.  If I went out to dinner and was eating very lightly, I'd say "I'm a light eater since I had gastric bypass recently."  Or maybe I'd just say "stomach surgery."  I'm not embarrassed about it and if they would have a problem with it (no one I've talked to or dated has), I'd just as soon know right off the bat so I didn't waste my time.

OMG Kelly !! I'm sorry, but that gave me a laugh... Who does that ?!!  I would've been like.... "Am I being Punked right now ?? Maybe Candid Camera ???"

OMG! In all seriousness, I get his dilemma- go toothless or cancel at last minute? But that is funny.

Personally, I think I would have planned ahead a little and spent some time finding my teeth.  I mean, how do you lose your teeth anyway?

I don't know.  It is a dilemma.

Several months after that, I had a second date planned with someone else and I had recently broken a tooth and had to get a bridge.  I had a temporary bridge in place while waiting for the permanent one to be made.  The morning of my second date, the temporary bridge fell out.  I was not completely toothless, but did have a big gap in the front of my mouth.  I wasn't sure what to do.  I ended up calling the guy and explaining my dilemma to him.  He was very sweet and said, "I like you, not your teeth.  Don't cancel."  But I was still a little self-conscious about it.

It is funny how people react about the not drinking part.One thing I will say you are not a freak.He is an a&&. Try not to make excuses of why you are eating so little.You don't want the whole night to revolve around talking about your WLS surgery.But if if the guy seems nice I think it is okay to tell them.

You are so positive you posting that you got your 10,000 steps in. It is amazing how people are about drinking I have not drank for a long time.I did have a glass of wine over the holidays but I planned it.But people will try to bend over backwards to make you drink.It is so weird. I was a party girl and I would have ****tails to relax.Now I am so much better when I go out.Now I bring the little packets to mix in my water.

I am sure there is a nice guy out there for you.You are so positive.Stay positive.

Thank you - that is so kind of you to say :)  I was always a party girl too (alcohol + bar food + late night pizza...hmmm wonder how I ended up obese?  LOL) so this new life is an adjustment.  I love it, I love feeling good, I love eating well, I just had an awesome personal training session...but maybe I need to wait until I am fitter and then date people who are also into fitness and don't make me feel like a freak for not having alcohol :)  I was happy about the 10,000 steps!  I promise to keep my positivity!  One bad date is nothing to get down about, for sure.

I agree - continue staying positive. It'll get easier. You've got some great replies with a few new ideas to try (coffeeshop) so give it a try again and good luck on the next go round.

Debb

Thanks Debb!  I agree, I will take the new ideas and make sure to plan dates accordingly.  Is it sad that at 36, I don't know how to date without dates being centered around alcohol and food?  Duhhhh...time to switch that up!

I can't even go on a date for a while because all of my jeans are HUGE and I ordered some from Old Navy online and clearly overestimated how small of a size I would need.  So now I have jeans that fall down while buttoned and jeans that are as tight as spanx!  HA HA HA

I dated A LOT after surgery and actually met my gorgeous boyfriend online - there are some princes out there, you just have to be prepared for a few frogs first!

IMHO, the only thing I would do differently to you is not explain ANYTHING:

• You don't want to drink alcohol?  Just order whatever you want and leave it there ...   If you don't draw attn to it, most people won't even notice!
• You don't want to eat a big meal?  Don't!  You don't owe anyone a reason why - mother, friend, cousin, date, waiter, ANYONE!!!
• I most certainly would NOT share your surgery on a date - it's no one's business until you choose to ...  I never did ****il I met my boyfriend) and it never came up ...

This guy sounds an ass - equality is not about doors and sidewalks and if that's how he sees it ...  NEXT!

There is a singles board, which like a lot on OH is very quiet right now, but there are some old threads there that might be of interest to you - I was very active a couple of years ago when I was single and there is great advice on how to attract the sort of man you are looking for!