TERRIBLE 1st date post-surgery...any advice?
Thanks, Kim! I appreciate the vote of confidence and agree, talking about surgery on a first date is weird. I would be weirded out if a man I was on a date with was talking about surgeries on a first date! Good to also know you found a prince :)
And AMEN that equality is not about doors and sidewalks. It was kind of surreal. On to the next one! (eventually)
He is not a guy you want to date.... I am surprised that you even went for a date... If someone told me that they they don't believe in simple things like opening a door for a lady - that would be my last conversation with him. I don't expect my BF always to open my doors for me.. but it is just common courtesy. I hold doors for other people... specially if I see them coming right behind me, or i notice them may need help with that..
Some of us have to date a lot of frogs before we find our "prince". Don't settle... don't sell yourself short...
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
I know...I didn't know about his lack of chivalrousness until we were out walking. I also don't expect someone to open the door for me, but I also do it for others (men and women) and I can't think of anyone I know who feels SO strongly that if women want equality then they don't deserve a single door-opening lol. Thanks for the positivity - I plan to wait for a prince...I think I am a catch so I'd rather be single than with someone who doesn't treat me well :)
You went out with a guy on a first date and insulted him before you even sat down with your empty calorie comment, what was he supposed to say, yeah I prefer my calories empty like my girlfriends bubble brains. Seriously. Think about what you said to him.
And you had wls, you are not a leper, he can see you, see what you weigh, see what you eat, I would assume you were some sort of fraud if you showed up at a date and picked at food and insulted the fact I had ordered a beer. You need to really work on your dating skills. At the point you are now, unwilling to be honest about the fact you have altered anatomy, you will probably never have a positive first date. It just all reeks of dishonesty. And be careful with all that walking, you could become dehydrated and pass out and the guy might take you to the hospital where you might actually have to admit the truth about the fact you had wls. And passing out from dehydration, especially early out is not that hard.
I don't know if he thought you were rude or not. I doubt either of you intended to be rude. It sounds to me like you just weren't very compatible, which is fine. You're not going to be compatible with everyone. The first date is a good time to find that out.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
I agree with you Kelly. I am not upset that we aren't compatible. I just wanted advice. And thanks to you and many others, I will certainly meet for coffee with a person first, and not plan dates that revolve around drinking and eating (my old dating MO lol). Just a good life experience and moving on from it now :)
You went out with a guy on a first date and insulted him before you even sat down with your empty calorie comment, what was he supposed to say, yeah I prefer my calories empty like my girlfriends bubble brains. Seriously. Think about what you said to him.
And you had wls, you are not a leper, he can see you, see what you weigh, see what you eat, I would assume you were some sort of fraud if you showed up at a date and picked at food and insulted the fact I had ordered a beer. You need to really work on your dating skills. At the point you are now, unwilling to be honest about the fact you have altered anatomy, you will probably never have a positive first date. It just all reeks of dishonesty. And be careful with all that walking, you could become dehydrated and pass out and the guy might take you to the hospital where you might actually have to admit the truth about the fact you had wls. And passing out from dehydration, especially early out is not that hard.
Seriously????
6'3" tall, male.
Highest weight was 475. RNY on 08/21/12. Current weight: 198.
M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.
You went out with a guy on a first date and insulted him before you even sat down with your empty calorie comment, what was he supposed to say, yeah I prefer my calories empty like my girlfriends bubble brains. Seriously. Think about what you said to him.
And you had wls, you are not a leper, he can see you, see what you weigh, see what you eat, I would assume you were some sort of fraud if you showed up at a date and picked at food and insulted the fact I had ordered a beer. You need to really work on your dating skills. At the point you are now, unwilling to be honest about the fact you have altered anatomy, you will probably never have a positive first date. It just all reeks of dishonesty. And be careful with all that walking, you could become dehydrated and pass out and the guy might take you to the hospital where you might actually have to admit the truth about the fact you had wls. And passing out from dehydration, especially early out is not that hard.
Seriously????
Mean AND rude!
Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist
Thanks, Kim & Grim (LOL). On a positive note, for the first time since surgery I think my blood pressure is high as opposed to it's normal low LOL. Since I am here asking for advice and constructive criticism, I wasn't expecting to be told I am a fraud, will never have a good first date, and will pass out from walking 10,000 steps LOL. Then I figured, people feel like they can say all sorts of things through the anonymity of the internet, so why bother commenting back at the same level. Thanks for bringing the love. I am far from perfect, I don't claim to be perfect, and I am on a great journey and trying to figure out how to date without involving food and alcohol. That doesn't make me a fraud :) Thanks for the love, you two!
