What's on the menu today, RNYers?

That's a great idea, Anny! I like the knitting one especially. I find that a lot of the time my binge urges are coming hot and heavy on the heels of boredom, and getting my hands busy is a huge help. Do you have any projects in particular on the needles at the moment? I'm working on this scarf:

Oops, sorry for the huge pic. Anyway, the pattern is Joelle's Diagonal Pinstripe Scarf, and it's SUPER good for mindless distraction. It's all knit stitch with one decrease and one increase on right side rows only. Easy peasy! For people who are terrified by the thought of changing colors (I was for a long time!) I'd try it in a nice variegated yarn and just knit it without. I'm doing it in Capretta from Knitpicks, which is a nice light merino with a touch of cashmere for softness.

I didn't know you're a knitter, Pam - love it! I looooooove to knit and often do so to excess. At the moment though, I actually don't have a single thing on the needles and I'm feeling itchy. A friend just had twins and I still haven't managed to knit their baby gifts, so I should get on that - I want to make them toys, but just haven't been able to settle on what!

My "recuperation" project was actually learning to crochet, so I do have a granny square bag I'm half heartedly working on. I'm a lefty, so crocheting as always been harder for me - but god bless YouTube, there are a ton of left handed crochet tutorials. 

A local yarn shop is actually moving across from my front door, literally, in August and I can't wait! 

Nothing on the needles? What is that I don't even...

I usually have four or five projects that I cycle through. Currently I've got the scarf, one baby blanket and two lace shawls. The shawls are the most time consuming and demanding of focus, the baby blanket is fairly simple, and the scarf is so easy a platypus could do it. I really want to start a simple cardigan for myself for the fall, but since I have no idea what size I'll be by that time I'm stymied.

I try to patronize my LYS whenever possible, but there was a great one in Houston (since closed, RIP Yarns 2 Ewe!) that spoiled me rotten and I haven't found one since that was even close to its equal. I hope the one opening near you is a good one, or at least doesn't mind people wandering in to fondle yarn!

I know, I know - it is VERY rare for me not to have something going - I just haven't had the focus since surgery. I occasionally have a little drought of the will to knit, but it usually goes away in a few weeks and then I'm obsessively working on 6 things at once.

Spinning is my summer goal actually. I got a traveler's wheel at the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival two years ago and it's a beautiful art piece, but since I moved in October it's basically just been sitting here - so my goal when Summer Reading Club (the craziest 8 weeks of being a children's librarian) begins on June 16th, every day when I get home I'm going to spin for at least 15 minutes to relax and practice! I've been stocking up on roving!

Ooh, spinning sounds like so much fun!

Like I said, I thought it was ridiculous when my therapist first suggested it, but I've employed it in the last year so many times to good results. Like Pam mentioned, I often find head hunger, the desire to binge, or obsessive thoughts creeping in when I'm bored, so this just gets me doing something and it moves my mind and then I'm fine!

Morning, Em! So it's a sunny, warm day here, and I'm planning to get out and enjoy it somehow. I'm thinking of a trip to the local park to walk around a bit and explore, nothing cardio-intensive, but just to be moving around in the nice weather. I had my personal training last night and talked with my trainer a bit about things. My biggest concern is that I'm feeling like my endurance is actually decreasing instead of increasing. I was doing 35 minutes on the recumbent bike a couple of weeks ago, for instance, and now I'm lucky to get 8 to 10 minutes in before I'm winded and just feeling exhausted. I can keep up with the strength training exercises ok, but the cardio stuff is kicking my butt. My trainer recommended that I start spacing my workouts, taking a rest day in between each ("rest day" not meaning sit like a bump on a log, but just not doing anything intense.) While this makes perfect sense for someone over 50 who's never, ever really exercised, I can't help but feel like it's a personal failure. My trainer pointed out something, however: she said "You have two qualities that are bad for you in terms of your exercise - you're impatient, and you're a perfectionist." Well, duh, I wasn't surprised by that. I know those things about myself. But I didn't know how it would affect my working out, and she explained what I was doing and how those qualities were affecting my mindset about exercise. It's so hard to go in there and see how other people look and compare myself to them, or to see what they're doing and compare. (I know, I know, I shouldn't compare myself to others. Now please convince my brain of that!) I feel like a schlub, and yesterday I told my trainer that I felt like it was pointless to bother, I can't do much of anything so why try...and yes, looking at it I can see how my all or nothing thinking is holding me back too. My trainer was really good about it, though, and made sure I understood that I need to be more patient with myself and that whenever I start feeling like that I should stop and look at where I was just a few weeks ago and where I am now. I've already upped the weights I use on most exercises quite a bit and yesterday I actually did (modified) pushups...they weren't easy, but I did them...so I need to use those thoughts to fuel my drive a bit more.

So my goals are to keep working out but at a slightly reduced pace for a bit until I can build back up. The lack of endurance is concerning, but I had bloodwork drawn yesterday for my 6 month checkups (so many tubes!!) and if there's any kind of problem there I'll find out in a few days. Meanwhile I've upped my calories and carbs a bit and will see if it's just a question of not getting in enough nutrition to keep moving for the length of time I'd like to. Oh, and I need to work on the mental stuff too, and to figure out how to stop comparing myself to anyone else. This is my journey, not anyone else's, and it will be as different from everyone else as I am.

The head work is definitely the most challenging part of this whole thing!

For today: Water - 40 ounces in, will hit over 100 ounces easily. Supplements - Morning batch done, rest to follow. Exercise - off day, so just light walking, will head to the park in a bit after I finish my nails (changing colors to a nice bright pink to help up my mood!) Food plan for the day - 

And just for the record, let me tell you how freaking delicious cottage cheese is with Jay Robb vanilla protein mixed in! Yummo!

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Awww Pam I am so sorry you feel your endurance is going down.  Your trainer would know better than me, but maybe you can slow the speed or the resistance and do it for longer?  AWESOME that you are lifting stronger weights.  Honestly, it could be a food thing.  I make sure to have something about 20 minutes before the gym, so I can start having water 10 minutes in.  These frozen mango chunks (carbs and sweet) are helping.  Don't give up - you are losing weight and working out which is awesome.  It's likely that you don't have enough in your body to fuel that endurance.  If you really think about it, 700 calories is not enough to sustain a large(ish) body that is working out.

Definitely do not think of it as all or nothing.  I have days where I feel like giving up or I just feel bone-weary and like I can't do it, but I just find it somewhere inside me.  My trainer is big into making me do a squat for 1.5 minutes and when I think I am going to die, he says things like, "get comfortable.  It's alllll mental.  Stay RIGHT there.  Do not move".  And somehow I manage.  It's so weird.  It's like I need someone standing over me making me do it.  I am working to pull that same will into my life when someone isn't forcing me to do it, you know?  

I think this journey is all about NOT being a perfectionist.  Maybe letting that go and keeping in mind how awesome you are doing - I mean, you had surgery just before Christmas and have lost 100 lbs.  100 lbs.  Repeat after me, "I have lost 100 lbs".  THAT IS FREAKING AWESOME!!!!  So you can't run a marathon just yet - but you are building strength.  And you have a free day and what are you doing?  Walking in the park.  Rewind six months...would that have been how you spent today?  You are doing great, and like my trainer says, "It's all mental".

Not meant to be a lecture :)  We are here to give each other swift kicks in the butt when needed :)

HUGS!

You can lecture me AND kick me in the butt whenever I need it, and thank you for that! Feel free, as I value your input. What you're doing obviously works, so I'd be crazy not to listen to your advice!