Self image issues

Hello, I had my surgery 5 years ago and am still dealing with self image issues. I used to be 300 lbs and am not 145. I still see myself as overweight. I do not know how to change my point of view. I see pictures of myself and its hard to believe its me. Does anyone have any advice?  I just feel so ugly all the time....

The head is the hard part to fix.

I would suggest a therapist, someone that can suggest things to work on and help you see the new you.

And you look great.  You are definitely not overweight, your pics look really good.  I do not think anyone that just met you would ever guess how much you had lost.

I am sorry that it is so difficult for you to see it.

You were beautiful before, now you appear to be beautiful and healthy.

Thank you for the kind words. I think you said it right, "the head is the hard part to fix". I will look into some support groups or therapists that specialize in weight loss. Thanks again!

Selena,

I look at you and see a beautiful young woman, a loving mother and wife who has taken the monumental step of regaining your health. You have worked very hard and you deserve to believe that you are beautiful.  Focus on the positive and push the negative out.  

As the other poster said the head is the hardest to change and a therapist could help. If you are a person of faith cling to that. 

Sheri

Selena,

You look awesome! I can't wait to be where you're at. I know it's hard to make your mind believe it, but the rest of us see and believe it. Keep up the good work!

I went on the Ricki Lake Show and shared I felt the same way. For me it's not "actually seeing" more like a feeling... I see a space and still think am I going to fit, I look at clothes 5 sizes too big, I certainly do not feel size 4. It so hard to change the picture we have in our head. I was the "fat" friend, sister, daughter, co-worker, etc for so long. It was a huge no pun intended part of my identity and when the weight was gone I felt lost for awhile... I knew I wasn't the girl in the pre-op pictures but I didn't feel like the girl I saw in the mirror either.

I will say it is getting better with time... I appeared on the show a couple of years ago and the "therapist" said I would need to live in this body for awhile to start to feel comfortable in my "new skin." Look at pictures to compare that helps. Listen to others when they give you compliments and believe them. I'm going to start to take yoga too I understand it will help train your brain to understand your new space if that makes sense and talk to someone (a therapist, a support group, someone) Oh and... do this next time you say something unkind about yourself... ;)

Sending you my best,

~Michelle "Shelly"

Shelly, I love your idea!

LOL it gets expensive some days but I'm getting better with it... never be an enemy to yourself

Thank you for the good advice. I like the picture idea. I try and believe when people give me compliments but sometimes it feels so fake. When I was heavy men (and women) would look past me as if I wasn't even there. I am sure I am not the only person that feels this way either. Now that I am thin I seem to get so much more attention. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel like I am getting stared at because of how I look and that I may look ridiculous. I guess I do need to see someone about it. My insecurities are really starting to change my perception of people.  Thank you so much for your advice.

Don't just look at photos.  Dress up in your best outfit, make-up and hair and all, then stand in front of a full-length mirror and tell yourself "I look GOOD!!"  You are very nice looking, and your insecurity is only because you haven't given yourself permission to admit it to yourself.

Go for it!