Needs some long term advice.

Thank You ALL for the great advice. I was able to find some AA meetings around me I plan on attending starting Monday. I am also going to spend this weekend doing research for an addiction/weight counselor. I am hoping I can get things turned around and this will all help because quite frankly knowing I have gained roughly 50-60 lbs in just the past year SCARES THE CRAP out of me!

I am also going to try to be more active on here again. I was checking this site like Facebook for about a month before surgery and about my 1st year and a half after and found it to be VERY helpful.

Again THANK YOU ALL for the great advice!!!

I'd really like to see that regime;  anything to help with depression, thanks.

Here you go -- If you can do all 3 sessions, that's best, but doing both the morning and evening ones are critical. Really commit to doing this for 30 days. Don't do it half-heartedly. It will help -- I promise! :)

Enjoy!

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Give yourself 5 - 10 minutes in the morning, 5 minutes at midday, 5 more in the evening.

MORNING PRACTICE (5 Minutes Before Leaving Your Bed) When you wake, BEFORE GETTING OUT OF BED, allow yourself to connect to thoughts of APPRECIATION. Keep it simple. Appreciate your bed. Appreciate the covers, the warmth, the morning light, the person next to you, a pet, etc. Take a few minutes to bask and when you are feeling good, read this statement to yourself. (Keep this by your bed)

Today, I am making the decision for myself that nothing is more important than me feeling good. Nothing! My intention for the day is to notice things that feel good and activate those feelings within me. I love to feel good!

When you are ready (or should a negative thought come up), it's time to get out of bed!

Now that you're up, take care of whatever needs your immediate attention.

MIDDAY PRACTICE (5-10 minutes) Time for a break. Some lunch perhaps. This is a good time to reflect. Before eating, take 3 deep, cleaning breaths. Reflect on what has gone well so far today. Come up with 3 specific examples of what has gone well. Tune into thoughts of appreciation. Tell yourself "I love to feel good." (In fact, make this a mantra that you repeat as many times as you can throughout your day.) Move on with your day!

EVENING PRACTICE (5 -10 minutes) The best way to create a better tomorrow starts the night before. It's really important to feel good and aligned before going to sleep. So, the goal is to get in your bed and take a few minutes to connect to the feeling of APPRECIATION again. To help you do this, turn your thoughts inward. Focus on appreciating whatever's around you (your bed, the comfy pillows etc.) Think back on your day, and pat yourself on the back for what you accomplished, no matter how big or small those accomplishments were. Take a few minutes to bask and when you are feeling good, read this statement to yourself. (Keep this by your bed)

I will sleep soundly tonight and awaken feeling rested and refreshed. Tonight, I wipe my slate clean. Nothing in my vibration will carry over to the morning unless I activate it then. Tomorrow, I start anew and it will be a wonderful day.

Sleep now.

Please keep us posted, k?

I will. Thank You.

I just want to say that the anxiety you describe is most definitely treatable, and at this point I think you are self medicating with alcohol.  You absolutely can get through this with the right type of support.  That means seeing a psychiatrist and therapist (as other posters have said).  It's really imperative you do this so it doesn't spiral even more out of control.  You can be well I promise!