It's My Fault, But Still Struggling

Hey TD,

I'm not sure if this helps but here are my thoughts:  1) my pouch size seems to fluxuate.  There are times where I can eat way more than I think I should (I once was able to eat a whole bagel and I was SHOCKED), and then a few days later could only eat like a 1/4.  One thing I notice is when I let refined carbs (esp. breads and pastas) back into my diet I can slowly eat more and more, where if I cut them out completely, then say try and eat a slice of bread 2 weeks later, I can barely finish 1/2 of it.  So that brings me to point 2) I know you will get a lot of this on these boards, but I would go cold turkey on all carbs and sugar for awhile.  I notice if I drop my carbs to 40 or below for 3 days+, there's a huge difference in my appetite and how small my pouch feels.  It's rough the first day or two, but by the 3rd day I feel 100% better and my carb cravings are in control if not completely gone.

Stick with it, I look at this as a life long journey that I will always have to battle and be super aware of and on top of.  When I notice my carbs are sneaking back up (usually do to grazing as well), I'll put on the breaks and do straight protein for 3 days and I typically find myself back in control :)  Good luck!

Hi DCGirl - sure have missed reading your posts. You are doing AMAZING!!! Almost at your goal. Are you feeling terrific?? I wish I had a more finicky pouch - I never have days when I can barely finish a meal. Definitely know I need to go 'cold turkey' and get off these carbs. It's just SO HARD - but taking the first step and coming back to this great group of supporters is my starting point. Thanks again and let's keep in touch!!

I'm almost exactly 2 years post-op and I can totally eat two pieces of toast or a whole bagel in one setting.  More, in fact.

It's almost impossible that your pouch or stoma are stretched out or not working any more.  You're just hooked on salty, crunchy, rich snacks like everybody else from time to time.  It's more about them being hyper palatable to your mouth and brain that having genuine hunger.  My best advice is to remove them from your environment if you find you can't control yourself.

I so want to believe that I haven't stretched my stoma or pouch, but these quantities are scaring me. I seem to never have problems with most things that I eat. I know I can't do sugar or chinese food. Otherwise, the pasta, crackers, chips, etc. are easy peasy. Going to take your advice and 'clean up my environment.' Thanks for your reply!!

One of the things that helps me not graze is not having good grazing foods in the house.  I mean, I am likely to graze on chips or crackers or candy, but not yogurt, not chili, not protein shakes, etc.  Cleaning out the kitchen and filling it with only the foods you want to eat would be a good first step.  Make it really easy to eat the right thing and hard to eat the wrong thing.

You say you aren't eating sugar - but you list a lot of carbs and those are processed and turned into sugars and cause insulin release from the pancreas.

Why not start a food diary, log everything and then evaluate what you are eating, the quantity, etc. and log the grams of protein  you are getting in a day.  Eat protein first, then veggies and fruit - if you have room for starchy carbs, eat them with your meal. .

 You don't say how much water you are drinking - but if you would drink 8 ounces of water before reaching for food - that may take away your "feeling" of hunger.

I agree with seeing a counselor about your "head hunger" and figuring out why you eat and don't stay on your food plan.

Like the others, I'm sure your pouch is fine but seeing your surgeon could be a good idea.

Penny

Hi Penny - thx for reply. I do use MFP and have even strayed from logging everything bc I feel so ashamed. I need to get back to basics and do this. Thanks so much!!

Hi TD, long time no see!!!!! So glad you stopped in on the OH boards and you are reaching out.  The other posters have given you excellent advice (in my opinion).  I just wanted to chime in and say that for your height 5'5" which is the exact same as my height 129 lbs is still awesome!  

You know exactly what to do you are just so upset with yourself that you are turning to food (haven't we all at one point in our lives!!!). You know its protein forward first, then don't drink with your meals and eat only complex carbs from veggies & fruit. OF COURSE the white carbs taste better. My husband brought home some pretzels a while back, I went to town on the bag and then realized in horror what I had done.  I got right up off the couch, threw the bag in the garbage (and even put other garbage on top so I would not dig them out later) and said to my hubby, never bring them home again, total trigger food for me.  And he has not and I don't eat them. Point I am trying to make is GET IT OUT OF THE HOUSE!! You won't make a special trip to the store to grab chips/nuts etc if its not in the house.  If you are the person who does the grocery shopping then you need to stop and hand that task over to someone else in the household or have someone go with you and as you reach for the chips/nuts have that person say no.  I remember in the past you said that Protein Bars, Quest I think specifically are a problem for you, stop buying them!!! 

I remember you used to participate in the "what's on the menu today RNYs"  why not come back and post what you are eating.  We are all here to help one another and we want to see you succeed.  But in my opinion you need to get crap out of the house. If you currently have unopened trigger food, donate it, go to your local fire station/food pantry and get rid of it!!

You got down to 112 lbs by doing all the right things, following your surgeon's plan, so pull those binders/info sheets out and get back to basics. And for sure consider counselling and or self help books.  

I wish you the best and feel confident that you can do this.  We are here to support you, best of luck!

Daisy 

Hi Daisy - I really needed your post. Hit the spot. I do need to 'show up and be accountable'. Get rid of trigger foods, log everything and come back to you all for support and also to give support for those who are straying like I have. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply with your great wisdom!!

You know you are eating about double what you need to maintain 129.  It is time to cut out the carbs and get back to protein and to counting those calories again.  Plan your food ahead of time, throw out the junk food, start tracking your food and be sure to weigh daily. 

What you are doing now is a sure recipe to regaining everything you have lost.  You have not stretched things, but they have healed and are no longer going to help you lose weight unless you do the work. 

Many of us have benefited from therapy.  What works for me is getting up every morning, weighing myself and making changes even if I only gained one pound. 

This is a lifetime journey.  I start over every morning.  If you are not willing to make that effort for yourself then you will soon regain your weight.