Lost My Eye of my goal

I don't even know where to start. Writing this feels heavy, but maybe I need to put these words out there to stop carrying them all inside.

Not long ago, I was proud of myself. I had lost weight. I was getting closer to my dream of qualifying for weight loss surgery. For the first time in years, I actually believed change was possible.

But then life happened. Stress, emotions, and old habits crept back in. One by one, the pounds I worked so hard to lose came back. Not only did I gain back what I lost, but I ended up heavier than when I started. That's the part that hurts the most--I feel like I completely erased my progress.

Right now, I feel like a failure. Like I let myself down. Like I lost sight of my goal and let food and emotions take control again. And it's so easy to beat myself up for it, to look at the scale and think, What's the point?

But deep down, I know the truth: this is not the end. Falling off track doesn't mean I can't climb back on. Struggling doesn't mean I don't deserve help. Gaining weight doesn't erase the hard work I did before--it just means I have to fight harder for myself again.

Weight loss surgery has always been my goal. I still want it. I still need it. And even though it feels like I've failed, I'm reminding myself that failure isn't final unless I stop trying.

I'm writing this as a way of holding myself accountable and being real with anyone else who has been here. If you've lost, gained, and lost sight of your goals too--you're not alone. We can start over as many times as it takes.

Tomorrow, I will try again. And maybe that's enough for today.