Suffering from Depression

Dear Shiela, I am so very sorry to hear what you are having to go thru.  As a child my dad abused me mentally and physically.  Mom has always tried and still does try to run my life and to control me and my two grown sons.  My own shrink that I was seeing every week advised me that I needed to move away from her controlling negative  remarks.  I needed to move closer to my sons but not that close.  I moved to Bean Station, TN east of Knoxville.  I moved just behind my dearest friend of 31 years. Now I am in the Nashvile area, living with my older son,  wanting so badly to be able to get settled in with my home things around me.  Stress and the past pain that I endured won my case for Social Security Disability.  I can't handle pressure or stress in a work force or  in the traffic.  I have been under the care of a shrink since 1998.  I have learned the value of being able to grow stronger, to be me, and to stand up to mom and to tell her what she was doing and it wasn't go to get to me anymore.  Now when we talk on the phone, she's a lot friendier.  When she starts cutting my life style or being negative I just tell her that if she doesn't have anything to say that is nice I was going to hang up.  She knows I will do it, as I have done it.   I have learned to turn everything over to God and let him help me deal with the situations.  Because I harbored so much pain inside and didn't know how to release it, I ended up with a mental disorder that can be suicidel/homosidel.  I have attempted suicide on several occassions.  It's not worth it, my giving up would hurt too many people the very ones I love and cherish.  I knew I needed major help to learn how to deal with the inner pain and demons Shiela, you are a beautiful person, you are stronger then you realize.  Your inner self knows that you love your mom, but where does it say in the Bible that you must listen to your mother?  No where, it says to honor her.  I will keep you in my prayers that you are able to get help and to get past this.  But don't in the process do more damage to your new body.  Force yourself to at least eat and drink so you will get stronger.  With depression and starving yourself can get you admitted to the psych ward under judges orders.  Been there and done that just 4 years ago.  Call your surgeon and call a therapist.  But get the help you need to over come all this pain inside.  You can always call me at 615-469-7639.  I will listen, cry with you, pray for you, and just be the shoulder you need, If necessary I will come to you.  Prays to you, love Kathy

{{{ shelia }}} HUGS! We all love you.  if you were here we would squish your guts out trying to hug you!  And I agree with something someone said, we have all gotten to know the REAL Shelia and we love her a lot.  She is a sweet, compassionate, brilliant, caring, and SKINNY young woman with a bright future!  And yes we are talking about YOU YOU YOU!! lol