It's over!

Dear Friends, Don't hate me, but am I the only one that is glad Christmas is behind us!! It is always such a beautiful time of the year, and yes, I know and I definitely celebrate the religious significance of it all, but oh my gosh am I glad it's over!! And we didn't even do or go anywhere, just the two of us trying to have a very stress free day. BUT -- there are the calls from home that always depress me when I'm not there, the call from my daughter who was on her way to the hospital with 8 year old Sam who fell on his new skates and broke his arm (5 hours in the emergency ward), the call from my other daughter who informed me that since I wasn't there, and now her sister wasn't there, she was having an awful Christmas (by the way, this is a 'girl' who is 41 years old, has six kids of her own -- and still needs her momma near by!!). The food, the sweets, the endless Christmas Carols that I think if I hear Rocking Around the Crhistmas Tree or whatever that silly song is, one more time I will throw up! And of course the messages on the raido and TV from the military men and women sending their wishes to their families and making me feel even more sad. I love those guys so much (and of course women!) my heart just breaks when I hear how selfless they are. So am I glad it's over for another year - oh yeah!! Am I the only one? love donna P.S. Happy New Year to you all!! You have made my last two years, so very special and I so much appreciate and love you all. Have I told you that lately??

Hey sweet thing! Nope, you are so NOT the only one.. I'm thankfull its over too. My husband never showed up, the kids were mad, and didn't want Christmas dinner til he gets home.. all the hustle-bustle, etc.. I hate that another year is gone, but SO very thankfull Christmas is over. Happy New Year woman! Wendy

Hi Honey, yeah, I figured I wasn't the only one out there!! Sorry about your dinner! And with kids they have such high expectations of how 'things' should go. Not real flexible. Happy New Year to you Wendy, and I hope I can see you and the other VA Beach chicks again in the near future!! love donna

I, too, am thankful it is over. I needn't say why, either. On a positive note--I am going Thursday a.m. to see about and hopefully GET my first Cody tattoo--a replica of the one she had on her back done on my upper arm. This is something I have been researching and planning for since July. When I go Thursday I will also make plans for the second Cody tattoo, her portrait on the opposite side. I am going to the Va Sheep Producers Symposium Jan. 13, and then Conference the next weekend. I am planning to get even more plans lined up. Love you, Donna, and Happy New Years, Lois

oh Lois, I feel so bad that I complained and I know that you had an even rougher time than me -- in fact, no comparison. The tattoos sound like a very nice tribute to your daughter and the love you felt for her. I thought of you alot this Christmas, as well as Jane. Lois, I wish that I was going to Richmond so I could meet you! You always sound so interesting to me, like someone I really would love to know. All that hiking and GW shopping!! Happy New Year Lois, love donna

Hi Donna Mae, First I want to wish you the merriest of the new year. And I am sorry to hear about your grandson's broken arm. But I can relate too. I have been a big sour puss this holiday season. I am trying to ignore my feelings, smile (because that is what other people want) and press on. Truth is I just hated Chrismas this year. I am the one in my family that does all the shopping, wrapping, planning etc.. (I am sure all you other mothers can soooo relate) It takes so much work. My daughter tells me on the 9th of December she is going to Richmond to spend the holiday with her boyfriends family. I was just crushed. She's getting married next September so I hadn't even prepared myself for this situation yet. Thought I would have to deal with that next year. Then on the 10th my mother informed me that my son and granddaughter (they live 6 hours away) are not coming either. He never told me that, he relied on my mom to do his dirty work. Again I was totally crushed. So I jammed to get thier gifts in the mail. My parents went to visit him last week and take thier own gifts to him. Do you think he sent anything gifts back with them, for any of us. NO. Am I am tired of it. He's 27 years old, not a baby. He expects grand things for himself but never gives in return. I know he does not have alot of money (who does) but come on there are so many token gifts you can buy for under $10.00, you would think he would want to buy his mom and dad something in return. Again, I am very hurt. I feel totally abandon. So yes I second that feeling of relief it's over. I have 12 months to figure out how to handle it next year. Maybe I will just go away and ignore it. Sounds like a great idea, but you know I will not. I hope I haven't depressed you. I will get over it, soon, I hope. I do enjoy reading your posts. I haven't seen you in a while. Will you and Greg be coming to Richmond? hugs, Susan

Oh Susan, What a horrible Christmas you must have had..... just one disappointment after another with family! Your daughter sounds like she is growing up faster than you are ready for... and I can imagine how crushed you feel by your son just ignoring you like that at Christmas. Have you thought about sending them a note or telling them how hurt you feel? They may not even know how you are feeling so hurt and might do something better to make up for it next year. You do not have to make it accusatory, just tell them how much you missed them etc etc and how Christmas was not the same etc and maybe you could all do something better next year to celebrate family...... or are you going to do what most mothers do and suffer in silence? My own mother in law apparently did not tell my sister -in - law how she felt for a long time (10 years) and my sister-in-law had no idea how hurt she was about them not coming home fromn Chicago every year...... now they make the effort to come home for either Christmas or Thanksgiving every year and my mother in-law is much happier. I hope you manage to get over it and don't let it spoil the rest of this year or 2007! We are all here to support you! Jackie

Hi Dear Susan, I miss you! I need to get myself to support meetings on Monday and see you. I couldn't go last month but hope to for the next one, whenever it isl. Yup, just like I thought, there are others like me out there!! I read Jackie's reply to me about this, and I dare say she is probably one in a hundred that truly enjoyed Christmas!! I'm so very glad for her. It gets harder with families as the kids get older, get boyfriends, spend time with them and their family, and all that stuff. I think one of the things that's hard, and I think this is true with you Susan, is that you do so dang much for everyone, and you just want a little tiny ittsey bit of it back, just the care and consideration. Not much to ask for. I sort of see that with my daughters. They go all out for their kids and then don't get all the reaction they want. I don't know the answer, that's for sure. My mom who is 84 lives on my daughter's property in a little grannie house, (this is the daughter with 5 kids) and my grandkids are always over at my moms, and I really think they are closer to her than me. But even my mom called me on Christmas Eve and said yes even though two of my grandkids were there with her she was lonesome and wanted to talk to me. I would have given anything to have two of my grandkids with me!! Ugh, lots of pressure!! Well enoough of this pitty party right!! Oh, and Greg and I won't be going to Richmond. Another depressing thing for me!! Our nephew is deploying to Afghanstan (or now maybe Iraq) that very weekend and we are going to be at Ft Bragg. So I'll miss you guys. Can't wait to see you again Susan. I miss you. love donna

Aaaw, girlfriend - just read your reply to Donna and can't decide if I want to hug you first, or smack your son first. I have two hands, why choose, right? C'mere you! Sorry to hear it was so dissapointing this year. Trust me as a norm, I prefer to just skip right on by, straight to New Years and let the real partying begin. I expected this Christmas to be very lonely, not so much disappointing, cause Paul and I don't do gifts for each other, we do TRIPS with each other. So since my trip-buddy is outta' the country, I expected it to be long and lonely - I was amazed at how wrong I was. My son, Keoni, went way beyond anything I could have anticipated - not to mention way beyond his means. NOW, all that being said, it's not the norm - financially, he's never been quite as 'secure' as he is now - REGARDLESS, he never missed the "token of warmth and love" as you mentioned in your thread. Something, anything, even if it's just foofoo candles and a card. I think that's the part that ****** me off the most about your son (good grief, like I have that right?) ...but I know first hand, how loving and GIVING you are of yourself. The woman Ive had the pleasure of getting to know over the last two years, he's had his entire life to learn from and be appreciative of. Shame on him for NOT trying to do something, however small, to let you know just how SPECIAL you really are. I won't even bring up the cowardly way he handled letting you know he wouldnt even be there this year. Sheeeez!!!! It's amazing how differently girls/boys men/women are wired, huh? Um - I suspect Ive done no more then bring up the aggra and sadness of the Holiday and it was NOT my intent to make you relive it, just wanted you to know that there are many that understand your hurt and we care about you and love you. btw - not that you asked, but if this were MY situation that I was dealing with? Id have a talk with my son, maybe not right away, but eventually. We can't expect them to learn or change if we assume they know what we're feeling or thinking. Im a firm believe of OPEN COMMUNICATIONS, this way if they muck up again, I'm justified when I smack them upside the head with a '2 by 4' kinda CLUE! See you SOON! ....Lei

Donna Mae, Jackie, Leilani and Jacqueline.. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. They do comfort me. Honest they do. I am not one that usually gives out to much personal information. I kinda keep guarded about that stuff. So I guess I surprised myself on this topic. But, ya know. I think it may have been good therapy for me. Just to write down, get it out, and express my disappointment to someone who listened gave me some relief. And I agree with everything all of you said. At this point I am just not sure how I am going to handle it, but each of you gave me options to consider. (I think I like Leilani's best about smacking my son, ha ha). I so appreciate each one of you. Thank you again. I hope everyone has a safe New Year. I want to see each of you at the Winter Ball. Hugs, Susan