VERY UPSET over Story

Jane- It's not my place to answer the why's your looking for with your questions. Nor is it my place to say that I know what Kat's motives were for doing the article. If she is bi-polar, then I have compassion for her. It is an internal hell to live like that...and I do know someone close to me that does live with bi-polar. It's hell on them and those that are close to them. Meds don't always do the tric****il you find the right ones...and even then that could change. Also, alcoholism and addiction are issues bigger than can be dealt with just once....they're continual. Like I told Susan in my response to her sending me the emails....people fall down and make poor choices sometimes. I'm sure you could say that to be true about yourself...I know I can. Personally, I just don't like to see those on this board that are so kind and supportive turn into mean-spirited folks who can't see through their own selves (and their own anger or hurt) to see that Kat could be/probably is hurting and need our support more than our anger. I simply tried to state that we need to stop mud-slinging and start/continue to support each other. Christina S

Too bad KAT wasn't there for the entire event that January in 2006.....she missed some awesome, informative sessions during the day.....Oh, wait a minute, she was only there in the evenings to party!!! Guess that is why she only saw what she did, because she was right in the middle of it all!! But that's right, she got her life all straightened out now, didn't she? That is why she was attempting to coordinate another get together this January 2007 (supposedely after she saw the light), and imagine that, it was at the same bar that she was so ashamed of. Check out her post: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/VA/postdetail/68000.html?vc=0 Seems as though she has no problems bashing everyone here, but of course, she now has her own life on track, right? I think we all know better than that!!!! KAT, you could have used your opportunity in doing that article in so many different ways to help people who are considering the surgery, but you chose to make all your so called friends look bad by attempting to put yourself on a pedestal.........be careful, IT HURTS WHEN YOU FALL OFF!. When you realize that you still have many problems in your life and that you have wronged everyone here, you will be back to apologize.....and guess what.........we will be right here to forgive you, because thats the way it is with this family.........the folks here are some of the best that I have met, and are always supportive of each other. Patty

My opinion will probably be one of the unaccepted ones also but I feel the need to express. I chose not to respond the first go around because I didn't want to be attacked or outed because of my opinions. I love the board and I love the support and information I get for the people here. This is my main source of support by others who have had WLS because I am unable to attend my local support groups. I definitely see both sides of the story. I was at the Winter 2006 conference, my first ever experience of such. I also attended the Summer 2006 event. Both were well organized and provided lots of valuable information, experiences and friendships. Did everyone drink, no, did some drink without experiencing problems, yes, did some drink and have problems, yes. I was shocked by the drinking aspect because it was something that my dr/nutritionist had warned against because of the addiction factors and because of the physical risks because to our new bodies. Although Kat did not attend the day sessions and experience all of the conference (neither did some of the others due to the results of the night activities or other personal reasons), she chose to voice her opinion at what she did experience. Did she try to organize other events during conference times for the evenings at events after the Winter 2006 event, yes, my opinion in part because she did not feel welcome at the events. Kat does admit to having an alcohol problem and admits that she is working on conquering it. The transfer of addictions is something that we are at risk to. Does it have to be alcohol, no. It could be shopping, cigarettes, sex, gambling, going to the gym, etc. Any person with an addiction is at risk for transferring that addiction to something else. There were similar situations at other events that have been hosted in Richmond and outside of Richmond. They are situations that happen at most conferences and events whether they be WLS related, work related, or what have you. The chance to get together with our friends and share our experiences and knowledge is extremely valuable. Kat does deserve to be commended for putting herself out there and trying to help others by sharing her experience. Natalie and David deserve to be commended for their hard work and organizing these events. A lot happens behind the scenes, good things that are very helpful to us and sometimes bad things that harm us, as with life in general. Could things have been handled differently or expressed differently, more than likely, on all sides, but hindsight is twenty twenty. OH is going through a lot of changes and this has affected our board and our support. We have lost a lot of valuable people with a lot of valuable experience. We need to be strong and be supportive of each other. There are a lot of newbies here and a lot of people who may be affected by this discussion and may not feel comfortable in coming to us for support. Everyone has different opinions and different experiences. We don't have to agree with each other. Attacking each other isn't the way to solve it. Courtney

I haven't read the article yet, so I can't throw an official opinion in there yet. After reading all of these posts, I can understand why some of you are upset. I believe everyone has a right to their opinion. My personal thoughts are that there is a lot of transferring addiction with this surgery. It does NOT affect everyone though. As an alcoholic, I'm grateful that I quit drinking over a year before my surgery. I watched my best friend go from social drinker to full blown alcoholic after her surgery. Again, that doesn't happen to everyone, but it does happen. I'm glad that the news is running information on this because people do need to beware that if they have addictive personalities, they need to factor that in in making their decisions. I also have been interested in going to these conferences but have made the ultimate decisions based on MANY people of this group telling me about them being big drunk fests. It's not just one person saying these things. I'm sure there is a lot of good stuff learned at these events as well. I don't doubt that. I also know that there are people there for good reasons and not just to get drunk. I just choose to not pay that much money to put myself in a position where I would not be comfortable. It doesn't mean that I don't like those people, I just prefer to get my support from them online. They are a valuable resource around here and I do miss them. I think word of mouth is everything on here. We need to be careful about what we say, some new person coming here can be totally put off and never come back. That would be a shame. Ultimately that is there decision, but I hope they stick around long enough to filter through the positive and the negative. That's my two cents and I'll shut up. Amber

Well, I have to say this...and it was just my opinion and NO I wasn't there. I am sure there was tons of valuable information at the day portion of the conference. I know Natalie busts her butt trying to educate people as much as she can. This is her passion. Unfortunately though..that was not what made it back to the general OH population and that is really kind of sad. What made it back were hundreds of pictures of people in compromising situations, either sexually or boozing it up. I think the lack of descretion in posting those pictures and the wild stories that were posted has given the conference a reputation of being one big wild party. Yes, these were after hour parties and the people were adults but an image about something and how we conduct ourselves at certain events certainly does project a visual. Now before anyone lashes out at me for saying that, hear this... I would have been right in there with the party people because I always live it up at get togethers. No, I do not drink tons of shots in a few hour time frame but I am a social drinker, enjoy good company, entertaining conversation, and living it up whenever possible. You only live this life once... So please if I ever attend a wild throwdown ANYWHERE..please don't take any picture of me that I would not want my grandmother to see !!! Exercise some discretion !! A picture paints a thousand words and cause irreversible damage in some instances. When you put yourself out there, be prepared for some feedback..with anything. I have verbalized my own opinions about personal issues and have been given the utmost respect and understanding by other OH members about it..No one bashed me at all. They may have had an opposite opinion but we handled things with decency. It is all in how you present yourself. If you tell a half truth, are a fraud or a hypocrite someone is going to call you down on it. That is just how it goes. Also, Who is "WE" homegirl? I don't need anyone to speak for me. I am doing just fine with my surgery. Bottom line is.. IF YOU FEEL SO DANG STRONGLY ABOUT ALCOHOL ADDICTION, YOU DON'T ORGANIZE A GET TOGETHER AT A BAR AND THROW DOWN THE ALCOHOL WITH OTHER WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY PATIENTS THAT YOU SAY ARE AT RISK OR HAVE AN ALCOHOL ADDICTION FROM ADDICTION TRANSFER....ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE A NATIONAL ARTICLE ON IT. HOW HYPOCITICAL IS THAT??? THAT IS HYPOCRITACAL AND BEING A FRAUD !!!!! NOT RESPECTABLE AT ALL. IF YOU ARE GOING TO TELL A STORY, TELL THE DANG TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. And as Forrest Gump would say," That is all I have to say about that." Dana

"I am sure there was tons of valuable information at the day portion of the conference. I know Natalie busts her butt trying to educate people as much as she can. This is her passion. Unfortunately though..that was not what made it back to the general OH population and that is really kind of sad. " There was lots of valuable information available at these seminars. I know, I was at the 2007 January event. Christ, I'm a non-op and I registered for, paid for, and went to the seminars, the talks, the information sessions. Of course, the same can't be said about Kat. She didn't pay to attend the event. She crashed the night time events, and organized the after event outing at Bahama Joe's. She went there for the express purpose of partying and getting her drunk on. That's one of the things that bothered me. Her saying "WE" for crashing an event she didn't even have the common courtesy to fully attend or pay for.

I read the article and there is one word in there that I took great offense to. That was the word "We". The sentence (not a direct quote) was "We traded our addictions". That is a generalization of the people that attended said event. I was there. My husband was there. We didn't drink at all. We had a nice time. We CELEBRATED our successes that weekend. Heck, we danced for the first time ever together because we physically could - something that we'd never been able to do before. Did some people not drink at all? You betcha. Did some people drink a little? Yup. Did some folks drink too much. Sure. But just because a few folks drank a bit much on one evening doesn't make them alcoholics or mean they have addictions. The key thing I want to point out is personal responsibility. I know one wonderful woman who did/does have an addiction/alcohol problem after WLS. She takes personal responsibility for it and has been working hard on the issues underlying the behavior through counseling and lots of support. She doesn't blame it on her WLS. Kathy

Hello everyone, I am very upset about the way this is being dealt with she only tried to get her story out there so that it would help others understand that the surgery is a tool and that you can turn from food to whatever to help you get throught it. I have been with her through all of this and can honestly say that we all need to step back and think about what we are saying and doing. I have seen her at her highest and her lowest and let me tell you this she did alot of background work and research on this subject and further more she did not approch People magizine they approch her and she agreeded to do the story. Yes I am proud of her he takes alot to let your personal life out on the line in front of so many people. She did this to help others as well as herself. The only reason she had Ross post pull if because of the language that some people used and did not feel that this was the proper place for that and YES I agree with her on that this is a place for understanding and support but it seems that all she got was put downs and not the support that should have been given. She knows that I am doing this and I wanted to do it on Ross but she stopped me. I knew what was going to happen and it did. Why is it that when the truth is spoken all people can do is see the bad not the good that could happen I for one wish I could have gotten the surgery but was denied 3 times and with her help I am going to get my weight off and hopefully get my health better. Because she is such a caring person she is willing to help me and talk with me on how I can do it. By eating the way that all of you do it maybe it will help me see the correct way to eat and I want to get better, I want to live. She has had trouble with her throyid and now I have a problem with mine and she knows what will and will not help me. I get on here once in a while because of the support that is given but when all I see is people putting others down instead of trying to help it makes me want to stay away. That is one reason I have not been on here. I wonder what the new people are thinking with all this talk about some article that was in a magizne and how some people recact to it instead of being thinking that this might be happening to them not with alchol but with other things like going shopping, smoking, actually eating the wrong foods and then having to figure out way they are not losing the weight. If I am hurting some people by telling the truth than I am sorry I have read the different post and well as profiles and I see the same things going on before and after surgery. What is the deal? Maybe before surgery more is needed to be said that this is a tool and that all of these other problems can happen and what to look for and way to get help with it. If you do not like what I have said than I appolized for that and will be glad to talk to you about it. All I ask is that you look at yourself before you judge someone else. I am doing this and Kat and everyone will see it when I am fini**** and it is my opinion and observation. If you would like to have this removed that is ok with me. I wish hope that everyone will take a look at yourself first before saying something about others. Some of the ones that are feeling hurt was the ones that I looked forward to seeing how they did as they were a support system to me but I now see how that turns out.

As a Lurker of the VA Board, as I have many NOVA friends , I choose to tell you this . Your responce was exactly what a mother should do . Defend her Daughter . My suggestion to you however, would be to get her the much help that she is asking for in her writings and her post . She is begging for help , and it is said that while you cannot see this , she is on the verge of a major meltdown . These people are not judging Kat , they are calling her out on the very lies she has told in the article , they have been pointed out to her . And I am sure now she recognizes the wording she used was incorrect . She took advantage of words that described the attendees of this event ... and other WLS patients as all being addicts . This is not the truth . And for someone that has NOT had gastric bypass surgery , you cannot ever know the life that we lead . Yes your daughter had the surgery , but she is not a WLS success story .I have read her profile .. she after 4 years , just does not get it .. the use of the tool . I hope and pray that she gets back to her doctor and gets the help that she needs , as it would be a shame to see her balloon back up to the pre-surgery weight she had . I do understand that her surgeons group is world known for revisions . She may need to look into this , as with her pronounced addictions , and her abuse of the tool , she is headed that way . I would definatly put your efforts into saving her at this point . To look at your daughters problems and help her . She had the chance to help so many people by promoting gastric bypass surgery .. she did not do that .. why .. because she is failing at it and needs to blame something or someone for it . It is a shame that her words where written in that fashion . She did a major dis-service to our community . While talking about the addictions and how people deal with them is great reading . If we truly ask our selves what is responcible for our actions , WE ARE .. not the booze .. or the pills .. it is us as individuals who make the decisions to do this . Yes she put her life out there .. but it was lies . She was not and has not been sober for a year .. all these people have asked her to do is tell the truth .. You should really seek emergency treatment for your daughter before she destroys herself , her children .. and her life . It is crucial if you cannot see this . LP .

Just in response to the fact that you said I do not know what you go through since I have not had the surgery I beg to differ on that since I am living with 2 people that have had the surgery and one is Kat and the other is my husband so I must certainly do understand what you go throught. I do know for a fact that Kat does not need mental health she knows what she is doing and what needs to be done and her children have no problems and they are not being in any danger of any kind. She has accept that her addiction was alcohol and has that under control and does not go just to drink like ya'll are trying to say. Could you please list for me all of you that have been out with her? If you cannot do this than enough said on that subject. How do you know if she is lying or telling the truth were you there did you withness any of this. She is much a of a success story as any of you like I said question yourself first then throw the first stone like Jesus say to those casting stone on the poor girl in the Bible.I can put a question to anything you say because I have been here throught it all and know what was happening and what was done. How do you know she has not been sober for almost a year. And as far as I need to emergency help for her are you a doctor what medical background to you have because I do have a medical background. Need I go on or is enough said. Do any of you live with her and know what is actural going on with her no you don't I do. I do not understand where you get off thinking that she did a disservice to OH or anyone else all she did was tell the truth about herself and what happened to her there were no names mention at any time but hers now everybody needs to grow up and quit acting like children. Also, look at some others post and you will see that they have problems with the same as Kat and yet Kat gets bashed for saying the same thing. What is the deal? Do I need to say anything else.