Need your advice....

Hello All, Well, you know the first big holiday is coming up in a couple of weeks. Mememorial Day Weekend. My husband and I are planning a trip to visit some friends of our in North Carolina for that weekend. My issue right now is that: 1. This will be my first get away since my WLS. I am so scared of not getting in my protein and excercising. My friends are over weight and they eat whatever they want it is truley not healthy. I just got of the phone with her and she planning to Bar-B-Q the whole time we are there. They know I had the WLS they came up here when I had the surgery. 2. How I am going to get my excercising in. We are staying at there house. They have no workout equipment and neither one owns a gym membership. 3. The ride is a 4 hour ride from Lorton to there and I know I can pack my protein and stuff to take. But when I get there i don't want to feel like the odd man out. So much is going on in my mind right now. What can I do to get my excercise in? I have never been there before, they just moved to NC back in the fall so I will be very new to whats around her. Ok, for the food I know I can go to the local super market and buy stuff that I can throw on the grill. OMG!!! They snack all the time and they have there kids snacking all the time too. Luckly the twins are to young to eat what her kids eat so I am happy about that but what should I do... Should I buy food to take down there? or would that be rude? Should I take my Walk Away the Pounds tape with me? Would that be rude if I have to ask can use the TV so I can workout. Before Surgery and before they moved away the 4 of us always ate out and hung out at each other houses and just ordered or cooked food. I don't want them to think that I have changed or that I am not the same Montego since WLS. I just want to get away and have fun with my friends because I miss them a lot. Please help me to prepare for this long weekend... Montego

Mo I know this is an area alot of folks have had problems with. I had problems around The holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas not being able to eat what others were eating and were so afraid of being the odd "woman" out. However, I realized that I had gone through alot to get where I was and that I had to make up my mind that if my friends were my true friends they would understand that 1) i was their friend no matter what 2) that i just had wls and i cant eat like i used to . Take along some healthy food for you, even if that means taking a piece of chicken or something that you can throw on the grill for yourself. You may find they may have something you can eat. Explain to them that you can't eat certain things, but did want to share a meal with them. Yes, don't forget your protein drinks. As for exercise, a nice long walk each day would be a good idea. Basically, you deserve a nice long weekend to spend time with your friends. Stop stressing, eat right, but basically hon, Just have FUN! You have earned it and deserve it. Oh and don't forget your vitamins!!! and Plenty of Water. Hugs JudyB

Thanks Judy, Yes my main focus is to have fun. I was thinking the same as to bring my own stuff to throught on the grill. Maybe I can get her to walk with me. Thanks Mo

Hey Mo! The mental battle is part of the issue. Definitely take your protien drinks with you for the weekend. That would double help for when they are snacking, if it is time for your protein, you can join in the activitiy but with the protein that you need. As for your exercise, some walks would be great, definitely ask your friend to join you but if she doesn't don't feel bad about doing what you need to do. It is okay to slack off just a bit too since you will be out of town for a weekend for yourself. Don't beat yourself up if you don't stay strictly on schedule for your exercise. Check to see what is on the menu for the meals and definitely go to the store if you need to. One other thing to think of. My biggest mental issue at that stage was at dessert time, especially for bdays & holidays because I felt like I couldn't participate. Maybe bring some sugar free jello or pudding with you so that when they pull out the dessert, you have yours already and you won't be tempted to the bad stuff. A lot of times our friends and family forget that we do have different needs. I have found that when I do a gentle reminder it goes a long way and that everyone is more than willing to try and accomodate me. Enjoy your time with your friends and try to remember that you are not the odd man out. There are plenty more of us just like you right here on the board. Courtney

Mo- GREAT JOb with planning ahead. Often times, we plan to fail when we fail to plan. But, you are already thinking ahead - GOOD FOR YOU!!!! Now, this is actually easier than you think it is. You know what you need....PROTEIN AND EXERCISE. That's easy! Take your protein supplements with you, and have them available to you at any minute. As for meals, have a scrambled egg, cheese, deli meat, yogurt w/ protein powder added in and BBQ. Yes....I said BBQ. There is NO reason why you cannot have a small piece of dark meat chicken that has been grilled without all of the sauce and stuff. Have yours with some mild spices, or even a small amount of low carb BBQ sauce. Just make sure to take it slow, and chew very*very*very well. If it is pork or beef, just take it easy. I eat (and did at a few months out) shredded pork BBQ - just not alot of it because it can be high in sugar. I started with about a tablespoon and now I'll have 2 - 3 tablespoons with a side salad. No crackers or bun - just BBQ. If it's hamburgers or hotdogs, bring a piece of chicken, salmon or something else that you know you can enjoy. A piece of hamburger may go down ok, but I'd stay away from the hot dog. Not enough protein to make it worth while. As for sides, I personally would stay away from anything fatty, salty, or with hidden sugars. Look at the table and decide what on the table is an absolute must have. Seriously think about it - what would cause you to die if you simply did not have it? Then, take a baby spoon (yes a baby spoon) of it, and eat it very slowly. Ten bucks says that you might die having it (haha) - so make your selection carefully. Personally - there wouldn't be anything on that table of interest to me, but you will have to decide for yourself. Now, exercise......why can't you and the twins go for your usual walks? There should be NO REASON why you cannot take a break from everyone and enjoy spending time with your kids. Or better yet....have someone watch them so you can enjoy the alone time to collect your thoughts. I suspect with twins that comes few and far apart. We camp alot with my sisters and their family, and everyone understands that I spend a portion of my morning doing something physical by myself or with my hubby WITHOUT their interruption. And everyone respects that. And if they didn't well they would have their feelings hurt, because it IS all about me! Now, something that you and your friends have to understand....you HAVE changed, and it IS for the good. You are changing your unhealthy habits for those that are healthy. It sounds like each day, you take more control of you. In the past few weeks that you have posted here, I have read a definate change. You may be the inspiration your friends are looking for to make the same changes. As your friend, I am sure that they want you to be as successful as possible. If they didn't well, then they aren't you friends. And if that means making some modifications, well then........ so be it. You are not asking them to change their habits for you - what you want is for them to respect yours. As you venture along in your journey, you will find that there is SO much more to life than food. And this comes from a Foodie. But, there is! You are still newly out, and there are somethings that you are figuring out. And, you already know, that if you don't figure it out, your chances of regainging are high. BUT...you are already on your way to getting it together (I'm proud of you!). Have a GREAT time with your friends. That's the most important thing to remember. not who ate what! Jill 265/135/135

Thanks a lot Jill, It means so much to me that everybody is so supportive. I called my friend last night had told her that it was a lot of things that could not eat and if she didn't mind that I was going to go shopping. I wanted be there to have fun with her and her family and do the right things that I need to do to succeced with my weight loss. I was so shocked when she told me that she is now going to WW and that has been since my surgery she said that I motivated her to loose weight. I did not know any of this. she has lost 13 pounds. She said that she go walking with a moms group down there again something I did not know. She also said that they just put a pool in there backyard she wanted to leave that as a surprise but ended up tell me. She asked me what were all the things that I could not eat ans said that we can go and do the shopping together. She said that she cut out a lot of stuff out her diet as well. I guess I was worring for nothing. We are both so excited to hang out again. Thanks again Jill Mo

Hey, Mo. I couldn't agree more with Jill and the others. You are a different person now, you may not be completely different, but your body has changed and your life has to change. If they are truly good friends, they will understand and respect the decisions you have made. Sometimes friends don't understand and they might get resentful because they are still dealing with the obesity and eating problems, however, that is not the way it is in all cases. You'll just have to pray and test the waters. You must take care of you first, you wouldn't want to have made these changes for nothing and you can't afford to take some "time off" from your health. Bring your food with you, I can't imagine them getting offended. Use your judgment when you eat, skip the bad stuff. Absolutely get your protein in and encourage them to exercise with you, if not, don't be afraid to excuse yourself for a nice walk. You can always go walk around the mall too, if shopping is your forte. Just tell her you'd like to see some of the new area she moved to. You might also want to look up some high protein recipes online and maybe try and cook them together, show them a way of a good amount of food, but its good and healthy too! Get creative! I hope you have a wonderful trip and find a way to enjoy yourself! Amber