having issues today

That fat girl from my past is sneaking up on me. I have been having some real self esteem issues the last couple days. I think it stems from a 19 yr old asking me out. It totally freaked me out. All I could think was he did it as a joke on the fat woman. I see that my shorts say a size 8 inside ......but........ sorry I just need to get this out. Men taking notice of me scares me. This is a part of the journey that I am sooo not prepared for. I guess I just have to learn to deal with my body image. I wish I could see the changes everyone else does. I am so sad today. I want to see what everyone else does but I don't.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time. The fat girl IS in the past. You are a beautiful  woman! Forget what the kid said no matter how he meant it. I think it is perfectly normal to have self esteem issues. You might want to try writing a note to yourself and put it on your mirror and pick out a feature you like about yourself. For instance, for a few days put up a note that says "I like my eyes" say your mantra everyt ime you look in the mirror. Then move onto a new part.  My therapist had me do this until I really liked myself.  sending big hugs to you,

Thank you Jen, I know it's in my mind but that is hard thing to control sometimes. I do like my eyes. That;s the only thing i have ever liked about myself. Thanx again for the words of encouragement.

Aw Corinn! Girl...just keep in mind that it's your mind playing games with you!

You're right - if you could only see yourself as others see you right now - you're  gorgeous!   Did you tell that 19 yr old that he couldn't handle you and that he's too old for you (haha...j/k) ??! Size 8!  Good God, I can't wait til that day!  I envy you.  You've worked hard.

I hear what you're saying about the body image.  I still see 235.  Even tho Im at about 180 now,  It doesn't seem to be fast enough for me. Jen is right - affirmations are where it's at.  They are encouraging and reassuring. You can post them everywhere.         I have these old Richard Simmons tapes that I like to listen to and also some old hypnotism tapes from trying to lost weight thru the years that help, too.  Maybe try to  find some of those type of things at Planet Music or something. Try to remember that it's just a temporary valley that you're in.  The mountaintop is just ahead. ((((Corinn))) xo J    

Wow - 180 already!!!! That's amazing!  I am so happy for you.  I thought I was losing pretty quickly and I'm at 187 - size 14 at almost 12 weeks post op.  You're doing great!  Keep it up! ~Robin

I'm almost a year post-op and just now keeping into 14 jeans. Good gravy. This is why i get so frustrated even though I should not compare, our body types are TOTALLY different, but those darn numbers still bark at me. Grr... You're doing great, all of my girls are. I can't believe it. I'm so proud of you all!

Thanx for the laugh Joy. I couldn't even think of saying no to this kid, I was so surprised. 180...WOW!!! That's awesome in such a short time. Keep up the good work. Can't wait to see you at the end of the month.

Sweetie, I don't know what to tell you except that you are beautiful and that most of us have gone through the same thing.  I still have trouble with it at about 2 1/2 years out.  HUGS!

Thanx for the words of encouragement Tigger. Sometimes it is very hard to tell myself anything but that I am still fat. My husband even said that hopefully by next year I won't struggle with the body issues. Tell Nat, I love her and am praying for her.

Boy do I feel you here girl.  At 19 months out I still see that 305 lb woman.  I don't see the cute litte blonde in the 8's that the men see.  I have a hard time with this.  I was not prepared for the attention and I still have a hard time dealing with it.  I defintely go through stages with it also.  Some days I am the hottest thing in the world and everyone better watch out.  But a lot of the time, especially lately, I am just the fat chick trying to hide & not be noticed.  Some of my close friends laugh at me.  They think it is so funny to watch me blush and stammer my way through the compliments.  I also struggle with the anger.  I am not different now then I was 19 months ago other than I am smaller.  I have issues because I have worked at the same part time job for 3 years and now in the last 6 months quite a few of the regular customers have started flirting & such and I don't understand why I am suddenly "worthy" of their attention. Maybe I should try the compliment on the mirror thing and work on my own image.  I also think maybe I could set a reminder on my computer to tell me something nice every day.  I know I really need to get my head to believe it..  We are beautiful, intelligent, women and we should be proud.