my post from the grads board--very long

Yep, I'm still around.  I've been lurking a lot lately, and you'll know why I haven't been around otherwise...I figure i need all the support I can get!!

deep sigh, and.....

 

I've been intending on reaching out for some much needed support for a long time, and have finally, after reading so many other posts of people who have had similar experiences(still working to get to goal, needing to go back to basics, struggling with grazing, or just plain eating right, etc.) decided to do so… I've been lurking on the grads board now for a while, but have been a member of OH for a year and a half.  I had my RNY in March of 06.  From the get go I was a slow loser.  In December of 06 I was put on levothyroxine (synthroid), for hypothyroidism.  I was also on Celexa, an anti-depressant from about 02 to just recently.  My pcp told me it could be an inhibitor of weight loss.  I did some research and sure enough many anti-depressants can make you gain weight and inhibit loss. If I’d only have known...but anyway. I also hold myself and my lack of self-control accountable.  I don't eat like I should, to put it simply.   So at about 11 months I stopped losing at a loss of about 80 lbs.  I've beaten myself up probably more than daily for this.   Although I'm tons more active than before WLS I do not get regular vigorous exercise. Early on, right after surgery, I freaked out about someday being skinny.  Really!  I panicked.  This is extremely odd to me as I wasn't obese for my whole life, just the latter years in my adult life thus far.  Ever heard of self-fulfilling prophecy.  Rhetorically asking, do you think I have sabotaged myself?  Then I laugh. But really, why is it I've been given this tool, this opportunity, and I haven't taken full advantage of it?   My mom had RNY in 99, and lost 100 lbs, and has only gained back about 10.  My friend Shari had hers in 01, and did about the same.  She would like to lose more as she sits at about 190.  I know that neither of them had the guidance that so many of us have had....about the protein and vitamins.  I saw how "easily" they lost, while still drinking while they ate, not doing protein supps, eating high carbs....Now neither got to goal, but still lost their 100 lbs. Why haven't I gotten to 100 lbs!?  Once again that's unnecessary to answer as I've told you the answer!  But I often ask myself why?  Why didn't I lose like so many others have....goal weight by six months, or at the latest a year.  So why couldn't it be that easy for me? I lost control at about 13 months out.  So it's been about 2 now that I just have really needed to pull the reigns back in.  I have figured out I do dump, not all the time, but wow I do.  Mainly I get the lightheaded feeling, pulse racing, heat flash response.  Ugh!   I'm reaching out now because I realize I need the support.  I've often wanted to just stay away from OH because I’ve so often gotten frustrated reading when people have great success....which isn't fair because we all deserve support, and praise, etc.  We're all in the same boat to some degree.  Yes, I know you’re not supposed to compare, but hey I’m human….and it’s is human nature to compare! A friend told me recently I'm too hard on myself.  OK.  I guess I am. And if you're reading this, and you've gotten this far please learn from me if you might need some education from someone who's experienced vitamin deficiency.  Yep, along with everything else I had stopped taking my vits!  I've learned that it's not a good thing.  I became severely anemic.  But rest assured I'm taking all my vits and then some now. I am taking protein supps once again.  Thinking about doing the time out thing.  I'm working on drinking in 80 oz water, or CL a day.  I’m thinking writing everything I take in would be a good thing to do again.  Back to basics.   I know this has been long.  I needed to get it all out there.  Thanks for sticking with me if you've made it through this whole post!

 

We are here for you girl.  By admiting you need support and admitting your faults you are on the road to helping yourself.  Sounds like you have some good ideas and plans are where to get started.  You can do it!!!!

Thanks Courtney! And I'm glad to find out you're feeling better.

You took the first step in admitting what you are doing. We are here for you.  Good luck. Keep posting! Jen

Jen, Thanks a bunch!  I see you're in the beginning of your journey!  How exciting.  Please take it from me, follow the rules to a T, take pride in your hard work, and you will succeed! Happy losing!

You my dear have done something most will not allow themselves to do . You have taken accountablity for where you are ... The great thing about this is ... YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO ... You have said you are back doing the basics .

Using some of my Getting Back on Track  Skills ... you already have a great start .  Now all you need to do is keep to it .  Nothing is beyond your reach .  Be minded of the formula . PROTEIN +WATER+EXERCISE = WEIGHTLOSS .  Keep track of all you eat .. ( Fitday.com ) works for most  Track your water  Keep up with your moving to loose .  I am most certain that you can reach your goal ... as you have what it takes .. you have stepped back and evaluated things ...  I am very proud of you .. and I know you can do this ...  Take care , and please keep us posted , we are all here for you .  Tink

 

Natalie, Thank you for once again stepping into my corner.  Although I haven't been a pillar of support, I know the past few months have been tough on you, yet you come out shining as brilliantly as ever!  You are such an inspiration!