A little calming needed please!

Hey everyone! So Ive decided to look more deeply into WLS and have set up my first appt for the nurse practioner evaluation. It is set for 10/29. Im really getting into the idea of WLS and all the benefits it will have for me, BUT (yes theres always the but) the surgery aspect of it absolutely terrifies me!! I know it will not be done openly unless needed for some reason, so no huge scars, but I guess its that one in 330 chance of death that makes me horribly scared of it. I have no co-morbities, Im on the edge of the BMI scale for even qualifiying for the surgery so I dont have a lot of risks healthwise- I think- to be scared of. I guess Im just nervous about the idea that something might go wrong. I have three young kids and a wonderful fiance and a great family and awesome friends and losing that by dying on the table scares the hell out of me. Im half tempted to just call and cancel my initial appointment and say forget, all over the fear of surgery. Im ready to commit to lifestyle changes so its not that at all. I WANT to change. So maybe share with your fears, your solutiosn to getting over them, maybe just some encouraging words from the been there done thats?  It might help, thats why Im reaching out! Thanks everyone!!

I so totally understand your fears. Please keep your appointment. I can't tell you what a life changing experience this has been for me. Sometimes I have trouble finding words to express it. I am so much more alive now then I was 9 months ago. 9 months ago I had trouble tying my shoes and getting off a couch. Now, I have been on roller coasters and walked effortlessly through Busch Gardens. I even enjoy the new food changes that I have made because of the surgery. Yes, my mind still plays games with me, but it's getting better. I had no co-morbities either but I was 115 pounds over weight. I too have 2 little ones....well 5 and 10.....and the thought of them losing their mom and not being around for my hubby, just scared the crap out of me. But what scared me worse was the thought of being obese the rest of my life, developing co-morbities and dying anyway cuz of the obesity. Keep reaserching everthing even though you are starting the pre-op appointments. Get to know your surgeon really well. And in the course of things ask questions, lots. No question is dumb ecept the one not asked. Take care and breath deeply. Everything will be ok.

Shellie- Your fear is normal and certainly valid. BUT, please do not cancel your appointment. You owe it to yourself to go and talk with your surgeon, ask all the tough questions of him or her and be educated about the real risks you are taking.  I found that once I did those things and had confidence in my surgeon, I got over the fear by telling myself that if my time on earth was done that the good Lord was going to take me no matter what I was doing....surgery or sleeping. We all deal with it in our own ways, but the best piece of mind is education on the facts for your particular surgeon. Ask about morbidity rates, ask about complication rates....ask for honesty about your partifcular case...ask if they have any concerns that they have about YOUR surgery situation.  I was like you....no co-morbids, so they said is should be a breeze and the "standard surgery risks" were all I faced. My surgery was "textbook"....but again, there was always that chance.... Get some facts to keep your emotions in check....but realize too that the emotions in and of themselves are normal. 

As Corny and Christina have said, it is very normal to be fearful. That, in itself doesn't mean WLS is the wrong thing for your to do.  (It also doesn't mean it is the right thing for you to do, either.) As a 53 year old father of 3 (25, 21, and 17), I wish I had WLS years before I did (July 2007). I never played outside much with my kids because I was too big. I never rode a roller coaster with them, and didn't even like theme parks, because all I could do was walk around and watch my wife and kids ride. My kids were made fun of at school because their dad was so fat. I would often be "too busy" at work so that I wouldn't have to go to the beach with my family. I believe my kids would have had a richer experience growing up if I had been able to be active. Also, there can be many side effects of obesity - I have been dealing with depression and anxiety since my youngest was in 2nd grade. I am sure that had an effect on him, as well as on the older kids and my wife. I finally decided to have WLS because I don't want to be the obese parent next May/June when my older two kids graduate from college and my youngest graduates from high school. I want to be able to dance with my daughter when she gets married. I want to live to see my grandkids, and I want to be able to play with them. My wife of 31 years has been very patient with my obesity, and I realized that I wanted to be able to retire with her. However, Shellie, every person is different, and needs to chose their own path. But I encourage you to at least talk with your doc about the WLS path before you make your decision.

Joe Bear

I agree that the fears are normal.  Please keep your appointment and talk to the dr.  Having the confidence in your doctor makes a big difference.  Ask them about their statistics.  Even though there are risks, it is not any higher than it would be for any abdominal surgery such as gall bladder, appendix, etc.  Pray about it.  You will get your answer.  Research as much as you can, I found that the more information I had about what I was doing, the calmer and more confident I was about my decision.

Fear of the surgery is perfectly normal.  We all have been there.  Please keep the appointment and keep us posted.  My surgery went a little longer then normal but only because he took out my gallbladder and took care of a hernia that no one knew about.  Yay Doc Lucktong.  This surgery has saved my life and my sanity. I now have the energy to do things with my family and now I even have my own business breeding Sugar Gliders.  It takes a lot of time but I really love it.  Before there is no way I could have even contemplated it.       Hope this helps!! Anna

Are you looking into only gastric bypass or will you also consider lap band surgery?  I had my lap band on 13 June and had no surgical complications whatsoever.  I understand that the weight loss is much slower but that it often evens out after five years.  You might want to discuss both types of surgeries with your doctor. Either way...fear of surgery is normal.  Just think of all the benefits that will result.  Good luck!

Thank you all for taking the time to reply to me.  I am going to keep my appointment and ask questions, questions. Thanks again everyone.