Soooo....

This weekend came and went as it normally does....On Sunday my mom comes in from outside where she apparently had been talking to my dad (they have been divorced for 30+ years) and told me that I needed to talk to my dad. Apparently he doesn't want me to have the surgery because he's afraid I'm going to die. I explained to her that while some people do die, they chance of it happening is VERY slim.  Is there anything else that I can tell him to make him feel better about this. I mean not that it matters to me because I plan to still have the surgery. If I don't do something then I'm most sure to die of the other complications from being overweight.....any suggestions?

The fear that our loved ones have about us dying is pretty normal.  One thing that my surgeon told me about the risks is that they are the same as any abdominal surgery (gall bladder, apendix, etc.)  so the risk of death is very low.  All you can really do is tell your dad what you just told us.  That yes there are risks but that the risks of living obese is worse.  And tell him that you respect his opinion but you have to make the choice for yourself. 

Court's right...our families concerns/fears are genuine just as our own are. However, we are doing this so that we can become healthier and not see death at our door sooner. My family was really against surgery but I was determined. I've lost many family members (and friends) to obesity/health related issues and I decided I'm not going out like that. So, I made the proactive decision to draw the line in the sand and say I love you but this is MY life, MY decision and although I'd like your support behind me I do understand your reservations. To be honest with you I had surgery and not even 7 months later so did my father. He is here today because surgery also saved his life and obviously mine. Sometimes its the realization that we are standing on our own 2 feet firmly planted in our decision making and we follow through and ultimately become healthier and happier and our family/friends will rally around us. Those who choose not to....well love them still like no one's business and realize you are doing this for all the right reasons. I think he will come around in time. I am lifting you and your family up in prayer in hopes that things get resolved and you continue on your journey. All best.....

Hey, I figured i might as well add my 2cents worth LOL...i had people lecturing me about the surgery....they wanted to know if i was sure it was worth the risk and yada yada..well i knew in my heart that if i didn't have the surgery that i would die for sure.....you can't go on at 460lbs for long...i remember when they started to put me to sleep for the surgery ...my last thought was if i don't ever wake up....im trying to do this to save my life...came through surgery fine...they did have to open me up as my stomach was lower than most peoples....i got to my room, got up and walked......i felt i was doing great....well next thing i remember i woke up in SICU on a vent....i had got sick from the walk...took phenergran...it had slowed my breathing until i had a full pulmonary arrest...was coded......my first words when i woke up was i made the worst mistake..the next morning i was off the vent and all went very well ever since....here i sit almost 2 years out....down 230lbs....and would do it all again......in a heartbeat...to feel that way i do now...Hope i didn't scare ya...just wanted to let you know that even from someone that had complications..i would do it again...might even help to let your dad read this...west wishes and hope i helped in some way.. Randy

Please do what you feel is best for you. Like Kitty Kat said we were against her having the surgery but then it saved her life and that of my husband 7 months later. I would love to have the surgery but my insurance told me no. Well now I am 237 lbs and getting bigger instead of smaller. Like someone said let your dad read some of the post and profiles on here and show him the information that you have on it and it will help him to understand what you are having done and how you will be better for it. This is from someones who knows what it can do for you.

My husband had alot of trouble grappling with the "D" word.  It took a good long while for him to look past the death percentage.  Honestly, it was a bit nerve racking on my end because I made to feel I was voluntarily choosing to POSSIBLY abandon him.  As if I would ever actually choose such a thing.  What I did to turn him around to the idea of surgery was positively and frequently remind him that I was doing this for our future.  Our future will hold healthy living, CHILDREN, and just a more fulfilling existance.  Now he actually gets excited about each day being closer to having babies.  :)

Gosh! You guys are the best!! I'm a little uneasy about the SICU story.... ....but hopefullly that won't be the case- I can only pray. I still plan on doing the surgery...not going to let anyone change my mind.  Thank you all for your support!

My mom and grandma dont want me to have mine either. I had to come to understand that some people just have phobias of medical procedures as well...which is what my mom's beef is. Just tell him that you feel like the chance of complications is worth the risk in your opinion because you want to live a HEALTHY life. You want QUALITY of life that people that are comfortable in their bodies dont understand. Everyones risks of complications are different...and in my personal opinion ( I dont know if you are relgious or not ) but I am... I believe that the day your days are done, your last day on this earth, is going to be your last rather your on a surgery bed or at home asleep in your own bed. Things happen for a reason, and no matter what hindsight is...you cant change what's meant to be! You cant live your life in fear, because if you do...what's the point in living :)

we're all going to die. it's a fact. if you live, you die eventually. i didn't want to be one of those people that they had to use a crane to get me out of the house. i don't care what anybody says i'm glad i had the surgery and that's that. i would do it all over again every day for the rest of my life if that's what it took. thank God it doesn't take that. you do what you have to do for YOU.