Is WLS Cheating?

 My SO surprised me by asking me that question this evening, he has been very supportive about my having surgery thus far, and for some reason it made me very angry and I retorted "cheating who, who am I going to be cheating by eating  a half of cup of food at a time for the rest of my life, taking enormous amounts of vitamins for the rest of my life, dumping, and god knows what else.Sounds more like I'm cheating myself."I realized after that they really don't get it , do they, people who don't struggle with weight problems. No matter how supportive they may be, how generous of heart, how condescending, they just don't get it.How many times has someone you loved said something so dumb you wanted to thump them?Sorry, Just had to vent. Pam

I am almost 5 years out and have had that question asked to me many times.... my response is, yes, maybe it is "cheating"... because once you make the decision to do it... and you go through it you have no decision but to go through what you have decided to do to your body.  There is no turning back.  It is a "tool".  I lost 155 lbs with only walking, taking vitamins, and drinking protein. I regained about 30 lbs (I had a baby recently) and I am having to work for every pound that I get off now.  I go to the gym every day and eat right so that I can get down to the weight I was before.  WLS is a tool like I said.. your stomach does stretch back to some degree (God if someone had only told me that before...) so it is up to you to do (exercise and eat healthy) to maintain your weight loss.  Good luck & I hope I made sense. lol

lol Pam!  Here is where you start developing a thicker skin!  My husband actually does get it but his mother does not. She still tells me that I am doing a great job on my diet!  And will insist in offering me birthday cake etc even though she knows I don't eat it any more..... she just can't get out of the habit of offering me bread with meals etc.... I have just learned to ignore her because she will; never really get it...... It does get very frustrating sometimes explaining it to others but I take it as an opportunty to try and educate someone a little better ............ Chin up- we can get there despite the odds! Jackie

 I just had to jump in on this one.  People in my area that have found out about others having surgery say the same thing.  We are just looking for the "easy" way out, especially those that are attending Weigh****chers.   When it comes down to it, I am starting to feel that there is some sort of jealousy since  WE have made healthier choices for long term weight loss and that those who are continuously saying we are "cheating" are the ones that either "would like to have this done" and are scared to or have lack of knowledge on the precedures that are out there.    The ones that actually go through surgery with the "thought" that this is a simple "fix" are in for rude awakenings.  We will always struggle just as any other person that has weight issues.  The tool can become "dull" and it is up to US to keep it sharpened.   We are not cheaters!   My latest good one was, Oh let's see how long she is going to keep this off, we know she has done up and downs as long as I have known her.   grrrrrrrrrr!!!! lol.   This type of response is what is going to help me be even more determined to do this and KEEP it OFF!   Even though I am having a different precedure it seems than most on this site, I would still like to stay connected.   Hoping my opinion is ok on here.   Just keep your chin up Pam and "let it go".........

Yes,as Jackie says, I have to get a thicker skin and use to these kind of remarks, it was just as well that it came from home the first time so I could see how I was going to react, which wasn't good. I have seen and heard others talk about this problem but had never had it firsthand.I'll definately keep my chin up, that's no problem and I have to let it go, or put him on the couch,LOL! And whatever procedure you have, I'm sure you face the same riducule and backstabbing but this is a good site, and no matter what kind you're having everyone supports and understands your problems, so definately stay connected Crab and thank you for your responce tonight. I needed all the support I could get, I was so mad.But I'm better now. Hugs, Pam

I know,  the first time it happens it is like  a slap in the face because you wonder why anyone thinks it is an easy way out???   But after it happens a few times and you see what people think you can just ignore it. Sometimes it genuinely is by people who do not understand but there are also the ones who seem to enjoy bating you about it. My best advice to the ones you cannot convince is to not even try.  As you get your body more healthy and they see what is happeneing to you they can either get on board or stay where they are. At the end of the day - you are doing something positive for yourself - and there are many people who have not walked in your shoes or can't even imagine what it is to be overweight and all the negative health issues that come with it.  It doesn't matter what procedure you have  - any gastric procedure that makes you healthier has got to be a positive for you............. we all have similar issues. Hope you have managed to calm down now Pam lol!! Your other half may think twice before he says it to you again.... Jackie

After I stopped laughing from the familiarity of your post............. Heck yes, its cheating.  But not in the way the ignorant think.   It is cheating premature death from morbid conditions.  It is cheating obesity from interfering with our lives anymore.  It is cheating other people of the opportunity to discriminate due to weight.  Yeah, its cheating alright, but certainly not in the way some ignorant people think.  Nobody asks a cancer patient if surgery is cheating.   Just a thought, but when my spouse was asking me these same types of questions and accusing me of taking the easy way out,  he was really just afraid of what will happen with the surgery and afterward. Most people's comments have more to do with THEM than they do YOU. When you remember this, everything slides into perspective and their comments get easier to deal with.  I was fortunate to have had the unfortunate cir****tances of dealing with infertility before this.   After a few times of hearing how God just didn't want parenthood for me (meanwhile crack heads have babies, and they deserve parenthood according to God? I think not.)  I got a thick skin and decided that it only matters what I think. There will be people who will put their discomfort off onto you.  Yeah, they're against something until they themselves are in your shoes, then it becomes a different story altogether.   My favorite response to ignorance is to smile and say nothing.  Second, I like to ask "what would make you ask something like that?"  and leave it at that. Usually , that gets the subject ended!  Best wishes to you on your journey.

Great response and attitude.  You ROCK!

Newsweek had a cover story last week on the science of addiction: http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/pr/archive/2008/02/28/cover-t he-hunt-for-an-addiction-vaccine.aspx Now this was focused on people who struggle with drugs and alcohol, but clearly those of us who are on this board have suffered with some kind of food addiction. As science learns more about how our brains work, we see that addictive behaviors are more complicated than just simply having more will power. It is also interesting that people who have addictive personalities do not always get addicted to everything. Thinking of myself, I haven't had a drink in years. While I played around with drugs in college like any kid, I never developed a drug addiction. Yet, I could never stop eating. I have no idea why. So, I look at this surgery as a time out. You are unable to do what you used to do for a time. The pain I feel when I over eat now is like nothing I have ever experienced. It is teaching me to recognize when I am full and to slow down when I eat. Now I realize that each month I can eat more, but I am forcing myself to think and stop before I get to the pain point. I am trying to learn to eat properly for the first time in my life. So, is that a cheat? Radically changing your own anatomy in an attempt to stop yourself from what you know is your most self-destructive behavior? I don't think so. As others have said, those who are no anti-surgery have their own agendas. You are doing this for you, and if they can' t understand, so be it. I don't always agree with my wife's politics or her choices in TV viewing, but we get along otherwise.

I am so glad you asked this question. My SO has been battling me with questions like this for some time now. He has finally chilled a little and accepted I WILL do what i want lol. But now with these great answers I will have better come backs and explainations. Dawn made a great post and I completely agree with everything she said.