Anyone been approved by Medicaid?

Hi Rene, I am just a few days behind you having had my surgery on the 18th. So far I have not had any depression or grieving for the lost comfort of food. I have been expecting it though. I have found the opposite actually. I have lost 29 pounds (11 before surgery and 18 since surgery). In spite of all the little set-backs my mood has improved. I am hopeful for the first time in a long while. I may be fooling myself and it will kick in next week, but for now so far, so good. I can sure understand the emotion though. Last night I made barbecued chicken, corn, and mashed potatoes for my husband, daughter and granddaughters. We set up a lovely table on our new flagstone patio. The food looked and smelled wonderful but I had absolutely no desire to eat it. I had my little half cup of cream of chicken soup and did fine, although I admit to sneaking a few tiny bites of potatoes. I think my not being able to eat what everyone else was eating bothered them more than it did me. I was smiling like a cheshire cat knowing that when I weighed in today I would be down a few tenths of a pound! Hubby was up one! Food has always been a big part of my life too. Keep your eye on the prize and realize that this is ONE BIG MAJOR LIFE change we have just gone through. The psychiatrist I saw for my pre-op evaluation told me to expect some of what you are experiencing. He said if I needed to come back and work through it he would be happy to see me. You might consider that. I'll go back in a New York minute if I need to. It's all part of this journey. Also, attending a support group meeting might give you opportunity to talk with other folks who have been through what you're going through. I wish you continued success and look forward to hearing how you're doing. Mary

Rene, I feel you, honey! I had my surgery on the 21st so today is only a week and a day post-op but it can sure be frustrating! I don't have any physical hunger, but I am so used to eating over every little emotion, that now that I can't, it can be very frustrating! Today I have been writing a huge paper the entire day for school and normally, I would stop every half-hour to reward myself with a treat. I'm goin nuts over here without that compensation! To put a happy end to this reply, I'll tell you that my mom (whoh had duodenal switch in 2001) ASSURED me that as time goes on and more weight comes off, that will be the incentive not to want to eat. Right now since we are pretty new post-op, we are still a bit sore, can't exercise, and aren't seeing enough weightloss to think "who cares, im skinny!" She said to give it a few weeks and that she promises, now is the worst time. She said to use this as my "window of opportunity" to get the weight off, because later on the appetite gets a little bigger as the pouch heals. I keep trying to remind myself of all that but believe me, I know where you are coming from. I also am prone to depression so I have the same concerns. We can get through this! Feel free to email if you want It will get better! Amanda

Rene, success breeds success. So as you see the scale go down you will have such a desire to see it continue that food just won't matter. Every single day at work there has been chocolate candy available. Something I could absolutely never resist before. And it does look good, but I have no desire to go down that road so I will not even take the smallest piece. When I feel like I'd like something sweet I chew a piece of sugarless gum. It lasts a long time. I am careful not to swallow it. Only has 5 calories. Or I have a breathmint, something that I pop in my mouth anyway right before going into a public place. I remember that when you're losing weight you have bad breath from the ketones. So I had these for those occasions. It' just one or two a day, not a big deal, and I feel a little less worried about the breath odor. I'm determined to use this time wisely to build new healthy habits. I do think though that there is a little bit of a grieving process for all of us in relation to food. sometimes I look at thin people who are eating these huge plates of food and wonder why I had to have this surgery and can only eat 1/4 cup at the most at a time. Why couldn't I lose without this, why did I become so obese in the first place? But, life isn't fair in so many ways. Where I work we have so many 19-21 year olds that were in motor vehicle accidents and have traumatic brain injuries. Seeing their parents come in every day just heartbroken over their child. That's not fair, young people getting MS, or MD. That's not fair. Our kids who are spina bifida because their mom's didn't get enough folic acid in their diet before their conception, that's not fair. Children born with CP, I could go on. And I do know that just because there are others worse off than ourselves doesn't make our pain or concerns unworthy of concern. Each person carries their own burdens and even if they are not big they really can weigh a person down. So for me, I'd rather have this feeling from time to time of self pity than to have that weight on me and have feelings of self disgust. Oh sorry for the lecture, you will do well, and yes your feelings are normal! Barbara

Hey Rene, How could anyone put it better than the ladies have already done? It will get better, but you will still have moments or even a day when you just need to sit on the pitty pot. That goes away pretty quickly when you put on that smaller size and especially when people don't recognize you. Boy that is a WOW moment.Hugs, Cleone

Rene, I had a day like that yesterday, crap day at work, knee sore again ....felt sorry for little old me. Usually turn to chocolate. Felt I "deserved" it, I had been good up to now. Even went to choc. machine at work. Ha, when I got there no chocolate appealed to me (how strange) I stood there for about 1 minute, still nothing called my name, however I still felt I deserved something (habits are hard to change aren't they) so I lashed out and bought a muesli bar. I FORCED myself to eat it. It tasted like s**t, I felt bad. Funny thing is usually I would then have started on a full on binge, didn't want to do it - so went home complained to DH and son about crap day, got into pjs, got into bed, told them on no account to disturb me and read my book. Went to sleep early and today am back feeling tip top. Anyway enough rambling about me. For you, try and do something nice for yourself when you feel this feeling coming over you. Even to the point of having your small portions on a lovely plate and your water in a beautiful wine glass. WLS is a journey, but boy it feels good. kathleen

Hi Rene, I went through a depressive period too. It will go away. I went through a period where I didn't want to go out of the house just to work and school and that's it. It came on suddenly, I've never been depressed before and it can be very scary. Eventually as your body regulates itself, everything will fall back into place and your blue period will be history. It took me about three weeks before my mood lifted. You'll see it's temporary and soon you'll be on top of the world. Hugs Rita

Initially I had to work through the pain of feeling emotions instead of burying them under food. Did okay for about four months, and then, this week, disaster! I was trying to make my seritonin reuptake inhibitor last till my mail-in prescription order arrived, so I cut my dose down to one-third of normal, to avoid the withdrawal symptoms of going cold-turkey. It's too long a story to type here, but my boss took a cowardly way out of one of his problems, and made it mine, causing my job to become high pressure once again. (I had it ALL under control before.) AND ... that 3% concern over my boobs. It just all added up, and in my frustration and great stress, I had a very black moment. My insides were churning with resentment and the feeling of being taken advantage of because I was an employee ... powerless is a good descriptor, I was angry, despairing, self-pitying, frustrated, and craving a way to make the bad feelings STOP. I wanted a way to anesthetize myself. I haven't had a drink in 17 years, and I'll tell you, I fought that demon again, and barely won. Couldn't turn to food, in the past I would have eaten several pounds of pasta and fell into a sugar coma in bed. Couldn't stop thinking and obsessing about everything until about 3:00 a.m. Went to work the next day looking like PURE HELL. LOL. Part of the difficulty in coping was being without a full load of anti-depressant. Part was being rather new at dealing with painful feelings, I didn't do it well. I am not sure what I learned from this either. I guess that real life is hard without the emotional eating drug. It must be a learning process. Maybe I'll do better next time ...

Hi Rene, I'm also struggling with this at almost a month post op. Everyone says it will pass, so I'm just clicking off one day at a time right now. I'm just now getting interested in doing anything--I plan to spend the day today sewing. Can you get out and walk a little? I'm dog tired when I get done, and sometimes have to lay down, but I can tell that day by day my energy is returning, and that makes me feel better emotionally. At least I feel like I'm doing something besides feel sorry for myself, which is the norm for me. Feel better soon! Leigh