Excited, Fear, DOUBT, Impatience...All in one day...

Hi everyone! As I sit here and think about my possible future, I can't help but have a number of feelings... Some include excitement, fear, doubt, and impatience...

I'm excited!!! WHY?!? By this time next year, I could be (WILL BE) smaller than I've been in over 15 years. That thought sends smiles all across my face and my heart. I could be UNDER 300lbs? Under 200lbs? To be able to shop at Dillard's, Belk, Old Navy, Aeropostle (sp?!) and buy regular sized clothing off the rack! To be able to cross my legs when I sit. To be able to sit in a chair or a desk in my classroom! To be able to run around the field with the track team. To work out and not feel like all eyes are on my and laughing at me! Yeah, I'm excited about finally being able to live the life I've never been able to live!

FEAR? Heck yeah, I'm scared! I'm about to undergo a major surgery voluntarily! AND I'VE NEVER HAD SURGERY BEFORE!! So, yeah, it scares me some kinda of terrible! But the excitement outweighs the fear, so fear isn't really even an issue for me!

Doubt: Don't get it twisted: I AM NOT HAVING DOUBTS OF ABOUT HAVING THE SURGERY. OH YEAH, IF IT'S GOD'S WILL, THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN!  I'm having doubts that I will have the willpower to follow through on what I need to do to make this work. I've been told over and over that this isn't magic. This is a tool and I STILL HAVE TO DO MY PART!! Makes me wonder, if I did my 'part' in the first place, this surgery wouldn't really be necessary, now would it? Man, I haven't even done a pre op diet because I'm still holding food funerals! BUT, please understand, I'm not just binging and stuffing my face. I'm just not dieting! LOL I will admit, I'm eating the things I want when I've read that it would be SMART of me to start eating and training myself for post op... And I will...eventually... I said I was gonna start on April 1st so, until then, I'm still looking for protein shakes and recipes that will help me with this pre op and post op diet. I'm just hoping and praying that I've had enough time to mentally prepare for this procedure so that it won't be so hard to handle once it's done. Also the fact that I'm paying for this myself does motivate me somewhat more!

Impatience: YES, I am impatient in that I am SOOOOOOOOO ready to get the show on the road! I'm ready to find my sexy body inside of this one I'm currently working with! I'm ready for the A-line dresses and pencil skirts and boots that come up my calfs that I can zip! I'm ready for the new wardrobe and to be able to walk and carry a conversation AT THE SAME TIME. I want to wear my hear up and not be so self conscious about my fat chin... I want to run and be chased by my boyfriend (when I get a boyfriend) around the park or in the house...of course I'm gonna LET him catch me! LOL There is so much I want to accomplish, and with GOD,  the HELP of this tool, and positive feedback and encouragement from you all, I WILL make this happen!

OH, I AM SO READY FOR THIS!!!

I am right with you:

I have been oh so patiently waiting for this lady to call me and everyday its another let down but I know that GOD is always on time so I have no doubts it will happen and I think we share alot of things in common.

I can't wait to be able to run with my daughter and not just after her:
I can't wait to wear knee high boots with heels with my small skirt and sexy shirt on
I can't wait to party like I used to be able to do without fear of not being able to hang
I can't wait to feel good in my body again, I totally can't wait for this
I can't wait to shop and shop and shop and not be afraid of getting tired so fast


I can't wait for this woman to call me back or I might LOSS MY MIND!!!!

GOOD LUCK TO YOU

You will do amazing and your amazing attitude towards it will only help you succeed twice as fast! You will be so happy with your new sleeve.  I am so happy that I made the decision that I did and I can't wait for you to start experiencing all the wonderful new things that your sleeve with give to you.  Be nice to your sleeve and it will be nice to you.  Good luck and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. 

You will do just fine and all of your emotions are justified.

Don't worry about slipping, right off, you won't be able to eat all the things you think you want.  I tried and it hurt like hell, and I ended up bringing it back up to relieve the pain.  I am still finding it hard to eat what i want.  OH ya i could eat ice cream and it would go down just fine but the calories keep me from having it all the time.  I have it as a treat.  You will find food you will rely on as an ole faithful.  It is a journey worth taking even though it is frustrating at times.   I would concentrate on you and the rest will come into play.  A word to the wise about guys..if they are attracted to you after you loose weight would they have liked you before?  I could never be with someone that wants me to be skinny all the time.  I am who I am no matter a size.   it is amazing to be called skinny and you look around and see who they are talking about.    It is really awesome to be turning to look at a hot guy and they are checking you out.  Enjoy the memories and be true to yourself.

girl...you are ready...and it gonna be hella fun when u get to ur goals...