Random Thoughts

So I'm sitting her at my desk at work.. feeling ultra frumpy today. I have an interview for a different position and made the stupid mistake of not thinking about what sizes my dress pants were. I rarely wear them bc I can wear jeans at work. Yep, smallest ones were 24's.. So I'm sitting here with them pulled up to my boobs and praying they don't' fall off!! Don't need anyone seeing my undies!! lol

So here's my random thought...

Why is that it's soo easy for me to share what I share with all of you who are in a sense complete strangers to me, but find it very hard to share with others in my life?

I was just thinking about it... when something good/bad happens to me on this journey you all are the first ones I come to share it. I would never share my weight with a majority of my friends or family me members with the exception of my mom and best friend. I for sure wouldn't be posting pictures of things like like my ass!!

I'm very proud of myself and how far I've come, but I could never imagine posting a before and present picture of myself on let's say facebook.

Maybe my answer is in my question... who knows.. like I said.. just a random thought I was having.

By the way.. you all are the best.. and I appreciate all of you SOO much!!  That's right I'm giving you all a kiss!! lol

I feel the same way.  There is such a great sense of family and this is definately a place where, in a long time, I feel that I will not be judged for my looks but commended for my accomplishments.  I could not do it without this sight.  I saw your pics the other day of you in your new jeans and they look wonderful.  Now it's just time to get those dress pants, lol.  Good luck on the new position, I hope you get it.  Never be afraid to come here, we are all in the same boat.  You look great! Keep it up and keep rockin' that sleeve! Have a great day!

I feel the same way!!  I am so thankful for this site!! I'm so addicted!!  I don't really share with my friends and family - only if they ask.  I think its because I don't want to sound "braggy".  Funny though - on here - brag away!!! Lol!!!  
One more thing - you need to buy a belt this weekend! That's what I bought last weekend!!  
-Kris  

 I think there is some freedom to the anonymity here.  Also, we are in the same boat.  My real life friends who are thin just cannot understand.  They can sympathize, at best.  My friends who have never had a weight issue have a hard time understanding what it's like to be aware of chair sizes, or what clothing sizes stores sell.  I don't fault them, but it'd be hard to talk with them about these particular issues.  Even my mom, who is maybe 30-40lbs. overweight cannot understand some of the day-to-day issues I faced when I was heavier.  Hell, I'm beginning to forget some of it.

Secondly, the heavier friends that I know in real life seem too sensitive to talk this over with.  I have told very few people about my surgery, but I do know some heavier friends who get almost defensive.  They really, really want weigh****chers or whatever to work.  So I respect that they aren't in the same place.

Also, I notice I'm making up for some lost time!!  People on here can appreciate that while IRL people seem...annoyed.  

Finally, for me, and I'm embarassed to say, but something happens and I can just almost disappear off of here.  There is still a part of me that is concerned that this is fleeting like all of my other weight loss attempts.  If I don't "claim" it IRL, maybe I won't have to claim it if things turned around.  

We looove you too!

Agree.. anonymity I think has a lot to do with it. I am a super shy person in real life... If any of you meet me you'd be like, "WTF You can yammer on and on when you're onOH, but you're super quite in real life" but give it about 5-10 minutes and you may change your mind! lol

Also, having people who have been in the same boat as me is very helpful.

Any of my friends who are actually my age have ZERO weight issues.. I was also that "fat" girl with the skinny crowd..

I think that from a very early age we are conditioned to only present the sides of us that are deemed attractive by society. From birth we make faces and negative comments when a baby poops and by 2 years old they hide in the corner when they poop because they know this is an unattractive process that is frowned upon. Weight mirrors this in may ways, if you are slim flaunt it, the world wants to see. If you are not, it is best to stay hidden so as not to "offend" others with your appearance or obvious lack of self control.
It is insane to me that we as adults have not been able to break away from these thoughts. But I understand why it is so hard, the majority of society puts us in our place when we momentarily step out of line. I hear things all the time that prove my point.
How often do I hear someone refer to a gay couple and say "I mean, I don't care what they do but in public, keep it behind closed doors" meanwhile this same person can watch their teen daughter make out with her boyfriend all day with no quams?!?! Because a large part of society frowns upon it we are supposed to take that to mean we should stay hidden and not bother them with the thought or sight of ourselves.
I have heard friends say of an overweight woman "OMG she's wearing that, she's too big for that!" who is to be the judge if that… other than her!
I was like this growing up, very much trying to disappear in the crowd, keeping anything that would make me appear different from the crowd hidden to the point of hoping it could make me more "like them."
I am obviously no longer that person. I post all over my Facebook, my update pics, my actual weight and all about surgery. My friends lists includes highschool friends, family, super hot random guys.. lol… (cant help myself) even past and present clients. 
This is me… its all of me.. its my journey, my life and if it makes me less of a person to some well they are not someone worth my time.
I explain to my daughter all the time… people are like gems… multi-faceted. You can not be all or none. It is not possible and the kids at school who seem to have it all… well they just have learned the ability to hide their less than shiny facets with the world. I know.. I was that kid… Now, I put it out there for all to see and if anyone can not take all of me… they dont deserve any of me. 
That being said, many of my friends who have been obese their who lives have told me that I do not and can not understand the shame they feel as I was not overweight my whole life and that my friends may very well be true.
I see my weight as such a small part of who I am; it has never effected my self image.  My frikken mail lady knows about my surgery.. and my current weight. As does Richard (my shoe guy a nordstrom) and all the parents at my daycare, the lady at Chipotle.. I am an open book that way… but in others ways.. I suppose I hide the things that are more emotional for me and make me feel insecure because I feel that pressure just like everyone else does. To be happy, "normal" and functional.. and for me my weight holds no ties to my emotions.
I hope you know Kelby we love you know matter how big your ass is… no matter what you weigh… and I would bet… everyone on your FB feels exactly the same.
Hugs to you

SOOOO.... You're saying I have a big ass?? lol If you saw me right now you'd think i have no ass in these hot pants I'm rocking right now!

It's funny I have no problem telling people I had surgery.. I find it easier than trying to think of something tosay about how I lost weight, but when it comes to the details of it.. yeah not so much!!

Guess part of me likes the element of surprise in that though.. Those who haven't seen me besides pictures of my face can be shocked (I hope) when they see me!!!

I totally agree I would NEVER EVER tell anyone my weight. My husband does not even know it. But all of you do. LOL we are the same in so many ways maybe that is why we can express to each other our fears, failures, and sucesses! 
We are all sleeve babies and must stick together for better or worse!!! 

I don't know- I think for a lot of people it IS the anonymity. Although many make IRL friends on here, for the most part we stay behind our screens. Personally, I do have my before and afters on facebook and have been very open about the whole deal with my family and friends. I like message boards because I am shy and I prefer the written word to the spoken word, lol- anyone who knows me knows that my cell is simply a texting device and my home phone is for emergencies, lmao..

Yeah.. I feel less vulnerable whe I'm behind my screen!

When I'm where you're at I'll most definitely be posting some before and afters facebook.. for now I'll just keep sharing w/ my OH family.