First Dates

Okay so i've been going on a couple of dates and sometimes it's awkward because of all the eating/drinking rules that come along with the surgery.  I dont know how I should address it with the guy.  Should I tell him on the first date, before, wait?  I've ended up telling a couple of guys pretty early but I'm kind of awkward about it.  I'm shy as it is and talking about being fat is never easy.  I mean, i've come a long way (76 lbs lost) and in a way I never want anyone to know the big girl I was..at least not guys.  Anyways, what would you do? Own it? Forget about it? Wait?  

P.S.  this is the first time i've dated in 5 years (just got out of a long relationship) so that is another scary part about attempting dating.  

 What's to address?   "I'm not very hungry"   "I try not to eat carbs"   "I think all I want is some . . . "  It's been my experience that other people don't much care what you eat and really don't pay much attention to what you eat.   Early out, I would order a shrimp salad and eat what I could and push the rest around on my plate.  No one ever said a word.   Well, now and then, I would get "is that all you are going to eat?"   I would just say I wasn't very hungry.  

I completely agree with everything you've said.

If the dates turn into a relationship then you may want to give the guy more information. Early out there is little advantage in talking about the VSG. Get to know the guy and let him get to know you.

Good luck,
George

I have to agree with the previous poster.  The only people who ever notice what I do or don't eat are those who either knew me before the surgery and know the huge difference in volume I consume and those who know about the surgery and are just curious.  Anyone who you date would propbalby never notice what you do or dont do in regards to food because it will be the "norm" for them when being around you. 

Most people don't eat that much on a first date anyway, you will be fine...

I just threw myself back into the dating world, so I totally get what you're saying. Some guys I tell - usually it comes up if the subject of drinking comes up. Others, I don't see the need to mention it. I'd rather wait until I think I'll be seeing the guy for more than just one or two dates, you know?

Whenever possible, I try to arrange my first dates at coffee houses where I can get tea or a latte. That way there's nothing weird about it.

At restaurants, you can always just order an appetizer or say "The food is delicious, but I'm just not that hungry" - it's the truth.

And I totally get what you said about you not wanting them to know how big you used to be...I want to find a guy who loves me as I am now, will be in the future...and was in the past. I spent the majority of my life overweight and that's always going to be a part of me. Plus, my body will always be that of a formerly obese woman, so they'll need to accept that. I sometimes wonder if there's a guy out there who can accept all of that, you know?

I've recently been getting back into the dating world too. My problem is that when we go out, it's mainly to meet for drinks and then eventually they want to get some dinner. I've just been using the "i had a big lunch" "I'm not hungry" stuff, or I'll eat a tiny bit of whatever they want to order. If i'm drinking, I can't and don't want to eat very much.

I haven't told anyone. It's none of their business. I haven't even told them that I've lost a bunch of weight recently. Mainly because I don't want to be thought of as a "former fat girl" and all of the assumptions that go along with it. They just know that I'm really active and really focused on my gym routine, etc. Which is all true.

dating is nerve wracking. I've been on about 6 dates in the past 2 weeks. 5 of them were duds (but make for AWESOME storytelling afterwards) and 1 of them was awesome. I have my fingers crossed for him. :)