ugh what to do what to do?!

This guy sounds like an insecure piece a work.  You need to sit with him and have a serious talk and let him know that its not about your surgery its about his attitude and belief system.  He is probably jelious of you since you are going to be losing weight.  Instead of him getting a life he really should consider getting a sleeve of his own.  The thing about the sex, those things happen.  Sex is not what defines a relationship and its only a problem if it really bothers one person in the relationship.  I do not know how old he is or how old you are, but there is a condition called low testosteron in which a man in his mid thirties or early forties can get and it decreases sex drive.  Also stress can decrease sex as well as being overweight.  Perhaps after the surgery things change or he changes but you need to really sit with him and have a serious talk about how things are going and where you would rather have them going.  Communication is the key to deciding whether a relationship should continue.  You should not feel guilty and have to stay in a relationship becasue he decided to leave the military to start a life with you.  He would have done that for any woman.  He had other reasons why he left the military as well.   And if you were the primary reason, then guess what don't feel guilty because he does not appreciate you.  Not even if you had children it would be a reason to feel guilty and stay in a relationship.

Good luck,

Santos

My dear, no relationship should come with or feel like it has obligations unless you are in business with them in which case I would reccommend a contract.

There are no guarantees in life and if I learned anything from a ****ty 16 years of marriage with a cheating, narcisstic asshat (sorry USAF, I LOVE that and am gonna use it) there are things I will NEVER do again:

1. Enter a relationship with a man who drinks (I am a recovering alchoholic/addict and have been sober for 23 years)
2. NEVER EVER share money in any way.  I will never again explain to anyone why I need to get my hair/nails done or why I have to go to the gym again!!!
3. PUT MYSELF LAST!
4. Make excuses for someone elses bad behavior
5.  NOT listen to others when they warn me about  red flags.  Love is blind they say, and I am a textbook co-dependant and don't always see what right in front of my face.

Sending you {{{{courage}}} vibes and a big .  YOU deserve the BEST and if he doesn't see it and show it, then maybe the universe is telling you it is time to focus on YOU!!

Ann