4 weeks post op & my first social gathering since surgery

So tonight me and some friends went to the Improv comedy club(its really nice, they serve drinks and food too)..well before we got there one of my friends said she had a long day at work and needed a drink..then she goes on to say that she would just stop and have a drink and dinner before meeting us because she didn't want to eat in front of me..I felt horrible! Also when I'm on the phone with my friends and they are in a drive-thru ordering food they place me on hold..uggh..people act like they are scared to eat or even talk about food around me! this is totally freakin' me out.. well we had a good time but none of my friends ordered food! Normally the table would be full of wings, spinach dip, burgers, fries, etc.

I fear that people are not going to want to invite me to places because they won't feel comfortable around me.

I am full of mixed emotions right now :(

I'm sorry that your first social outing was a bit awkward.  I can understand how it's "freakin you out" but look at it from their side too.  To be honest, prior to researching WLS I would have tried to be more aware of what I was eating around a friend who had WLS because I wouldn't want to be inconsiderate to the constant battle they had with food.  In fact, that mentality would help me to be more mindful of food in the long run. 

So I think your friends aren't trying to make you feel uncomfortable...in fact, I think they may be trying to help you feel at ease about still kickin it with them without the worry of food.  You may need to sit down, talk to them and be straight up about your feelings while educating them in the process on WLS.  That's the only way all of yall will be at ease.  Hope this helps!  ~Martina

I agree, they're probably not trying to make you feel bad, they're just (wrongly) attempting to make your life feel less "deprived".

Question: are any of these friends large themselves?

I ask because I found that my overweight friends became extremely reluctant to eat around me after my surgery. I think they felt guilty, like I was suddenly going to judge them and their eating habits. Most of them have relaxed, they can see that I haven't changed. A few are still a little skittish. But that's their problem, not mine.

You can just tell them that you're still the same person, and you like to do the same things. You appreciate their consideration but you just want things to go on like normal.

Have a girls movie or game night at your place and serve some of their favorites plus some things that you can have now. And have  a good talk. If everyone was grabbing munchies there may have been something you could have had from the menu. Soup, chili or a griled chicken breast. ( depending on what stage you are on). I found out I could order a poached egg yesterday at IHOP with my family. We don't have to feel guilty about our choice around our friends and family.

I know what you mean!  The first outing w/ my friends was a week after my surgery.  My friends would normally order a ton of food and drinks...they said they felt horrible eating in front of me and didn't know if it was torture for me to sit there and watch them eat and drink.  I told them that this was a decision I made and that I have to get comfortable to my new life and that they shouldn't feel bad about eating and drinking in front of me.  They eat and drink all they want but the majority of my friends are super disciplined and workout a lot.  I on the other hand, just ate and drank a lot and lead me to weigh 235.  Anywho.  It's now been 3 weeks and I still continue to hang out w/ my friends, many of them try to organize active get togethers.  Basically, what I'm babbling on about is that...by your friends feeling bad about eating and drinking in front of you...they're just trying to be supportive! :)

Thanks for the advice! I tried to tell the to carry on as normal but they didn't listen.  Neither one of them are plus size.  I think I will wait until I am on solid foods before I get out on the town again.  I think that would be so much easier and comfortable for me that way I could order shrimp or chicken if I had to.

Look on the bright side you have friends that love you!!!I don't think they will dump you for a spinach dip.  You might bring up casual  that you don't even get hunger that the monstrer was removed at surg.I cook for my family and not even tempted to eat .Mitght want to shre that insight . Be thankful that they do luv you and take it easy on them when you try to explain.I luv to cook more now then before lol I call it playing with my food lol .Have a good one

Since my surgery...I find myself watching the Food Network a lot more than I ever did!!!  
Hahaha!!!
And I agree w/ Kim_M.  Tell your friends that you don't even have the urge/craving to eat anymore.  When I told this to my friends, they found it fascinating.  Lol.
Of course, I also threatened my friends that if they stop inviting me out, I would beat them.