Pre-op Newbie!

Hey everyone! I am fairly new to OH and this is my first post. ! I am 20 years old, and am hoping to find others close to my age getting the surgery, as well as others just to chat with. I have started the 6 month diet required by my insurance, so I can't wait for the next 6 months to fly by! Getting support from some of my family is proving to be difficult, so I was wondering if anyone else has this problem? I have really had my feelings hurt from some of the comments made, and I could use some advice on how to handle it!

Sometimes dealing with family can be tough. You have folks who think if you just suck it up and try you can lose the weight by yourself and the surgery is a cop-out: beware as you do lose some on the pre-op diet, these folks will go into "see, you don't need surgery!" mode.

Remind them that weight loss surgery is the only proven method for morbidly obese folks to take the weight off and keep it off. Then don't debate any further.

If you have family members who are morbidly obese, they may have a tough time with your weight loss. I'm dealing with that. Thankfully my husband (who can eat whatever he wants and stay 165, drat him) is very understanding. He saw me struggle to lose the weight and fail, so when I talked about the surgery he just said "go for it."

There are a couple of great things about doing this at your age: your skin is resilient and you'll have less baggy skin than my old 49-year-old self and you haven't yet done the damage to your body that some of us older folks have.

There are a couple of down sides though: This is a life long commitment to changing how you eat. At first, it's not a lot of fun. Do I think it's worth it? Absolutely, but it's tough especially during the early months.

Hope you find folks your age to talk to about this, but us older folks are around for advice and support when you need us! Good luck.

I had the same issues..I'm 25 and my parents and brother were convinced I just needed more diet and exercise. Completely un-supportive. Now here I am, 9 days until surgery.. and my moms been recently taking me to all my pre-op appts so she learns with me, and I don't have to be in it alone. I can't say they're all supportive but they've warmed up to it when they realized this WILL save my life. Just give them time, educate yourself on the surgery, give them lists of the positives, and the negatives. I really think its more worry and fear, than it is negativity towards surgery!

I'm glad you're doing something about this now, rather than waiting as long as I did! 

My family is not 100% on board either.  My parents are, but my MO sister and SMO brother in law aren't.  One of my main goals is to tell my sister, in six months, Thank you for the extra motivation. 

One of my best friends, MO/borderline SMO, was so afraid for me earlier this week that she cut off all contact.  I was so upset I called the behavioral guy at my surgeon's office and he walked me through it.  Basically, when we reevaluate our lives, it forces the people around us to reexamine theirs ... and maybe they don't want to, or like what they see. 

Happily, another friend mediated and we were all able to spend a wonderful afternoon together yesterday. 

My experience so far is that if we continue to love those who disagree with us, and work our plan, they will come around.  It is our plan to work and we can't let even the people we love derail our train.  There is enough crap in my own head to do that! 

My niece is 11 years old and weighs 230 lbs, more than my 18 year old, six foot son.  I hope she can find a nonsurgical way to address her weight in the future, but seeing her family life, I doubt it.  Young people like you are blazing the trail for the ones like her who may come behind you.

Just stay strong cause sometimes family can be your worst enemy.

Hi
I had my surgery, at the end of June.  And yesterday I celebrated my 21st birthday.  So I was once in your spot a few months back. The waiting game and having patience is the worst so I understand that.  And I also know how the getting support from family and friends can be.  So If you ever need someone to talk to or want advice about any step just let me know!!!

 I'm 24 and I also had issues with explaining to family, especially my dad. It took a big argument to get him to realize that I have done my homework and I know what is best for me. Your family is probably just scared. It IS major surgery. I would make sure you do all your homework and try sitting them down and explaining it to them. Be prepared to answer any questions they have and provide some printouts of exactly what is going on. I also took my dad with me to my 2nd appointment so he could meet my surgeon and his staff. That definitely made him feel more at ease and now he is completely on board.

Hope this helps :)

Thanks for the support everyone. My mother recently got the surgery and has been an advocate for me getting the surgery. My dad is sort of on the fence, but my step mom seems to be completely against “going under the knife".  She told me, “well, don’t you think that after you lose the 40 pounds pounds required by your surgeon, that you will be able to lose the rest on your own without surgery?" I’m thinking, It’s not the first time I have ever tried losing weight. If only she knew about all of the diets and struggle.  My sister also just wants me to join weigh****chers to lose the weight. News flash-I have already done weigh****chers and it did not give long term results for me.

@mom4jazz  I hope my skin will go back, but I think since I have stretched it out so much, that I will have many problems with excess skin.  As far as it being a life-long commitment, I have been preparing myself for this for a few months already, and have the next 6 to do so! I am confident that it is the best decision for me so I can finally be healthy!

@bethr311    So many people have told me that they admire me for doing this at a young age. I am glad and I can’t wait to finally take over my life while I still have a chance to enjoy things that people my age do! As for your niece, my prayers go to her. It is so hard to be young and obese, because usually it is not something she can control. I was there at that age, possibly weighed more. Parents and friends can make such hurtful comments, when what they should do is become supportive in healthy life style changes.  I hope that I will be able to help children with diet and exercise one day.

@Courtney  Thanks. I friended you and I want to know how you are doing thru your journey! And Happy Birthday :)

@sourcherriex  I had my stepmom go to a seminar where they explained all of the major surgeries, and she still asked if I could lose weight without surgery.  I have done so much research, I feel like I could perform the surgery myself! I seem to be having a hard time getting them to ask questions, rather than comparing me to others who have failed with surgery.