Friendships

DrHollywood
on 10/15/11 12:23 am - Harbor City, CA

So, I have lost a few friends losing weight. I honestly have done nothing to them except
lose weight. I actually feel hurt and sad because I am going to miss these people.

I have to move on. I dont want to talk to, be around, or have anything to do with people who
play games, or negative, or want nothing to do with me.

What I realize most, We are not compatable. Even though a couple of people are on the weight
loss journey to, I am finding I have nothing compatable with them. " the normie losers"

Being with you WLS folks I have so mu*****ommon with you. Sure I understand that everyone wont get along or blah blah blah.. but we have this awesome understanding of our journey.
I so have much much respect for ALL of you here on OH. Even though I dont talk to alot of you
all the time, I have so much love for you. Its just how my spirit is.

                      ✿ L♦O♦V♦E ✿ & ✿ P♦E♦A♦C♦E ✿ღ ✿ & F♦R♦I♦E♦N♦D♦S ✿ ღ
                         "Keeping The Faith!"   "Slim by Summer!"
                                    HW: 250 - SW: 241 - CW: 154.7- GW: 140


1 month: 22 pounds (216) 2 months: 12.2 pounds (203.8) 3 months: 10.6  (193.2)
4 months: 9.7 lbs (183.5) 5 Months: 6 pounds (177.5 ) 6 Months: 12 lbs ( 165.5)
7 Months 7.1 lbs (158.4) 8 Months +1.6 pounds(159.8) 9 Months 2.7 pounds (157.1)
10 Months 8.1 lbs (149) 11 months +2 pounds ( 151) 1 YEAR!!! 2.6 pounds (148.4)


                                  Hit "One-derland April 9th, 2011   (199.7)

                                  "Half-Way Goal" April 25th, 2011 (194.8)

                                  "Happyland 80`s" May 14, 2011 (189.6)

                                   "Groovyland 70`s" June 20th 2011 (179.9)

                                    " HippyDippyland 60's" July 16th (169.8)

                                       " CQQL-land 50`s" August 25th ( 159.8)

                        "Normal BMI" 24.8 October 21st, 2011 (154.5) I am 5`6

                                 "AWESOME-land 40's" Dec 1st 2011 (149)

                              "Century Club 100 Pounds" Dec 1st 2011 (149)

                                ' ONE YEAR SURGIVERSARY!!!"

Two Year Surgiversary!!!"

wannabehealthy1
on 10/15/11 12:33 am - Laguna Niguel, CA

VSG on 10/15/10

I've found this to be true as well, some people get jealous, especially if they are still struggling with their own eating and see you succeeding. I found this most difficult with my family, who are all obese and are against obesity surgery. They say it's the "easy" way out. One even told me that I look "sick like a cancer patient". Ugh. I just have to ignore them. For the most part, the friends I had when I was obese have hung in there and stayed friends, even though some were really against me getting the surgery. Now they are totally on my side though- it's pretty funny.
You are better off making new friends than dealing with the ones who are not supportive. Some great places to meet friends are those "meetup groups" in your local area. I've gone to a few- one for card games (like bridge, hearts, canasta) and one book/movie club. Really nice people that live close to you and have common interests.
Good luck and congrats on your awesome wt loss!

**Kathy** Lap Band 2002~ 3 more surgeries r/t lap band complications
2009-Lap Band removal and unsuccessful revision to RNY
10/15/2010- SLEEVED FINALLY!! Hw=235, SW=222, CW=157, GW=145

DrHollywood
on 10/15/11 10:39 am - Harbor City, CA

VSG on 02/01/11

Oh Gosh, I love Canasta!!!!!

Thank you for sharing... I too am sorry for those who turn or dont support you
100%. It does make us wake up as well as feeling hurt. We will grow from this~!

                      ✿ L♦O♦V♦E ✿ & ✿ P♦E♦A♦C♦E ✿ღ ✿ & F♦R♦I♦E♦N♦D♦S ✿ ღ
                         "Keeping The Faith!"   "Slim by Summer!"
                                    HW: 250 - SW: 241 - CW: 154.7- GW: 140


1 month: 22 pounds (216) 2 months: 12.2 pounds (203.8) 3 months: 10.6  (193.2)
4 months: 9.7 lbs (183.5) 5 Months: 6 pounds (177.5 ) 6 Months: 12 lbs ( 165.5)
7 Months 7.1 lbs (158.4) 8 Months +1.6 pounds(159.8) 9 Months 2.7 pounds (157.1)
10 Months 8.1 lbs (149) 11 months +2 pounds ( 151) 1 YEAR!!! 2.6 pounds (148.4)


                                  Hit "One-derland April 9th, 2011   (199.7)

                                  "Half-Way Goal" April 25th, 2011 (194.8)

                                  "Happyland 80`s" May 14, 2011 (189.6)

                                   "Groovyland 70`s" June 20th 2011 (179.9)

                                    " HippyDippyland 60's" July 16th (169.8)

                                       " CQQL-land 50`s" August 25th ( 159.8)

                        "Normal BMI" 24.8 October 21st, 2011 (154.5) I am 5`6

                                 "AWESOME-land 40's" Dec 1st 2011 (149)

                              "Century Club 100 Pounds" Dec 1st 2011 (149)

                                ' ONE YEAR SURGIVERSARY!!!"

Two Year Surgiversary!!!"

1london
on 10/15/11 12:34 am

VSG on 07/27/11

I know the feeling is mutual toward you too Doc. I personally love your spirit!! You are so kind and giving and it shows even by just your post and replies.
I feel more sorry for the people who have chosen to not be a part of your life than I do for you not having them......in reason they are TRULY the ones that will miss out on something very valuable.
You will draw the people who will lift you up and who you deserve.
But just know you are loved and thought highly of by your OH family for sure! Hugs to you!!!

DrHollywood
on 10/15/11 10:40 am - Harbor City, CA

VSG on 02/01/11

I have a tear! Thank youuuuuu!
Super hugs....

                      ✿ L♦O♦V♦E ✿ & ✿ P♦E♦A♦C♦E ✿ღ ✿ & F♦R♦I♦E♦N♦D♦S ✿ ღ
                         "Keeping The Faith!"   "Slim by Summer!"
                                    HW: 250 - SW: 241 - CW: 154.7- GW: 140


1 month: 22 pounds (216) 2 months: 12.2 pounds (203.8) 3 months: 10.6  (193.2)
4 months: 9.7 lbs (183.5) 5 Months: 6 pounds (177.5 ) 6 Months: 12 lbs ( 165.5)
7 Months 7.1 lbs (158.4) 8 Months +1.6 pounds(159.8) 9 Months 2.7 pounds (157.1)
10 Months 8.1 lbs (149) 11 months +2 pounds ( 151) 1 YEAR!!! 2.6 pounds (148.4)


                                  Hit "One-derland April 9th, 2011   (199.7)

                                  "Half-Way Goal" April 25th, 2011 (194.8)

                                  "Happyland 80`s" May 14, 2011 (189.6)

                                   "Groovyland 70`s" June 20th 2011 (179.9)

                                    " HippyDippyland 60's" July 16th (169.8)

                                       " CQQL-land 50`s" August 25th ( 159.8)

                        "Normal BMI" 24.8 October 21st, 2011 (154.5) I am 5`6

                                 "AWESOME-land 40's" Dec 1st 2011 (149)

                              "Century Club 100 Pounds" Dec 1st 2011 (149)

                                ' ONE YEAR SURGIVERSARY!!!"

Two Year Surgiversary!!!"

joeswife
on 10/15/11 12:37 am - CA

VSG on 10/03/11

I too wonder about friendships and if some will last. I really only have a very small circle of friends but I do think that when I am not the fat one if some will feel intimidated. Who cares!

I am on to a new me, and for me it's all about family. My family is the most important thing in my life. Sure we have our moments, but in the end we all love each other! It's great.

Since joining OH I have made a very special friend and I am so looking forward to meeting her! I think she can read my mind LOL. She is my mentor, and confidant. Just love her!

Hey Mary, it's you I am talking about!!!

You have made so much possible for me and given me inspiration and hope which I thought was lost forever.

This forum is wonderful and I think without it there would be a void in my life as I have begun this journey. It is so helpful to read all the posts, and hear what others are doing, struggling with and the great success achieved by so many. Thank you all!

DrHollywood
on 10/15/11 10:43 am - Harbor City, CA

VSG on 02/01/11

Oh gosh, super hugs....

now I am like totally crying with joy right now!!!!
I also cannot wait to meet you and go walking since we live to close to each other.
AWESOME! I feel the same about youuuuuuu, I am honored to know you!

                      ✿ L♦O♦V♦E ✿ & ✿ P♦E♦A♦C♦E ✿ღ ✿ & F♦R♦I♦E♦N♦D♦S ✿ ღ
                         "Keeping The Faith!"   "Slim by Summer!"
                                    HW: 250 - SW: 241 - CW: 154.7- GW: 140


1 month: 22 pounds (216) 2 months: 12.2 pounds (203.8) 3 months: 10.6  (193.2)
4 months: 9.7 lbs (183.5) 5 Months: 6 pounds (177.5 ) 6 Months: 12 lbs ( 165.5)
7 Months 7.1 lbs (158.4) 8 Months +1.6 pounds(159.8) 9 Months 2.7 pounds (157.1)
10 Months 8.1 lbs (149) 11 months +2 pounds ( 151) 1 YEAR!!! 2.6 pounds (148.4)


                                  Hit "One-derland April 9th, 2011   (199.7)

                                  "Half-Way Goal" April 25th, 2011 (194.8)

                                  "Happyland 80`s" May 14, 2011 (189.6)

                                   "Groovyland 70`s" June 20th 2011 (179.9)

                                    " HippyDippyland 60's" July 16th (169.8)

                                       " CQQL-land 50`s" August 25th ( 159.8)

                        "Normal BMI" 24.8 October 21st, 2011 (154.5) I am 5`6

                                 "AWESOME-land 40's" Dec 1st 2011 (149)

                              "Century Club 100 Pounds" Dec 1st 2011 (149)

                                ' ONE YEAR SURGIVERSARY!!!"

Two Year Surgiversary!!!"

(deactivated member)
on 10/15/11 1:31 am

VSG on 03/14/11

Doc, I think it comes down to the old saying, "Your with us or your agin us!" I remember many years ago when I quit smoking. I lost a few friends then because at break time I wouldn't go outside and smoke with them. I had to remove myself from that behavior because I knew if I went out there "just to chat" I would end up smoking and my health was already suffering from that habit. Then I quit drinking all together, my friends that used to meet up with me at our favorite corner bar suddenly weren't there for me because they also want to share their vices. I was called holier than thou etc. It was all a move to improve my health. And while I wasn't a drunk or had a drinking issue but if you drink you are more likely to want to smoke too. It just goes hand in hand. So now I look back and ALL but one of my old bar friends is DEAD! All of them. Some from drinking some from cancer some from drinking related auto accidents. Now I too notice people who I guess befriended me because we had weight in common have evacuated. Life is too short to worry over people who's agenda is selfishness. Obviously the friends you lost had their own agenda's and you being thin and healthy wasn't one of them. They weren't friends, they were people who needed someone in similar cir****tances to comiserate with. When you got thin and healthy they had no reason to continue that relationship. You will make lots of new friends with similar goals and ideals throughout your life. Its everchanging. In the meantime you have a home here. No regrets, eyes forward.

DrHollywood
on 10/15/11 10:47 am - Harbor City, CA

VSG on 02/01/11

" Eyes Forward" What an Awesome Saying! That is a HUGE keeper. Thanks for that gift, I am
going to use it!

Gosh what a story about smoking and drinking. Congratulations quiting both. I too quit
both believe it or not. I left those people to get healthier. Thanks for the reminder because
I am getting healthier, so this is part of change and I am reminded by you all in support
to not take it personal. "EYES FORWARD" It sure does show us who is real and not real...

Huuuuugs and thank you

                      ✿ L♦O♦V♦E ✿ & ✿ P♦E♦A♦C♦E ✿ღ ✿ & F♦R♦I♦E♦N♦D♦S ✿ ღ
                         "Keeping The Faith!"   "Slim by Summer!"
                                    HW: 250 - SW: 241 - CW: 154.7- GW: 140


1 month: 22 pounds (216) 2 months: 12.2 pounds (203.8) 3 months: 10.6  (193.2)
4 months: 9.7 lbs (183.5) 5 Months: 6 pounds (177.5 ) 6 Months: 12 lbs ( 165.5)
7 Months 7.1 lbs (158.4) 8 Months +1.6 pounds(159.8) 9 Months 2.7 pounds (157.1)
10 Months 8.1 lbs (149) 11 months +2 pounds ( 151) 1 YEAR!!! 2.6 pounds (148.4)


                                  Hit "One-derland April 9th, 2011   (199.7)

                                  "Half-Way Goal" April 25th, 2011 (194.8)

                                  "Happyland 80`s" May 14, 2011 (189.6)

                                   "Groovyland 70`s" June 20th 2011 (179.9)

                                    " HippyDippyland 60's" July 16th (169.8)

                                       " CQQL-land 50`s" August 25th ( 159.8)

                        "Normal BMI" 24.8 October 21st, 2011 (154.5) I am 5`6

                                 "AWESOME-land 40's" Dec 1st 2011 (149)

                              "Century Club 100 Pounds" Dec 1st 2011 (149)

                                ' ONE YEAR SURGIVERSARY!!!"

Two Year Surgiversary!!!"

jengo1971
on 10/15/11 2:24 am

VSG on 12/06/10

I've "lost" of friend of 13 years because of me losing wt and her still being MO. I just wrote a post on it about a week ago if you'd be interested in reading it. I got a ton of GREAT advise/insight. On a side note, I'd be interested in talking to you regarding your supplementation and such. Just turned 40 yesterday and I refuse to grow old gracefully!! Hugs..........Jennifer

hi there. pleased to meet you. ~jennifer

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