First family function tonight- tips on dealing with the family?

slip some roufies into the punch bowl.

not sure what kinds of things they will say to you or their reactions.  when i told my stepmom she immediately told me about a girl who lost all this weight and i thought she was going to say it was from WLS and instead she said... ON WEIGH****CHERS.. i was like "oh that's good for her.  i hope she can keep it off.  only something like 5% can keep it off dieting, and i know i'm not in that range so i need medical intervention."  i always bring out the 5% thing.  cuz if they know you and you have gained and lost and gained over and over they should understand you will most likely be big the rest of your life without surgery.

that's the thing i get the most... 'you can lose it without surgery just diet and exercise'.  umm yeah.  sure can.  for like a year or two.  and besides going up and down does nothing good for you but hurt your heart in the long run.

It's actually more like 2%.  Sad huh?

I am open about my surgery with everyone, and I am always positive and excited about it.  I have not come across one single person in more than 3 months that said something negative or derogatory about it. 

I don't know what kind of absolute ******** your family consists of, but in my experience, someone would have to be pretty nasty in general to say mean things to your face about it.  I wouldn't waste my holidays hanging out with anyone like that.  ...And who cares what they say behind your back, what matters is what you think and believe, not what they think.

Instead of worrying about the negatives, focus on all the positive attention you may get.  My experience is that people have been very happy for me and are always encouraging.  Don't sell your family short -- give them the opportunity to give you support.  I find that the education strategy is overkill.  Sometimes someone will ask about my surgery and I'll start in on all the technical details and their eyes will glaze over.  Not everyone cares about the details, mostly they care about you and your happiness.

Frankly, people go on and on about my weight loss on a daily basis, and it never gets old.  I've learned to enjoy basking in the positive attention.  Also, my surgery decision has already influenced two other people to start the surgery process.  One has her date on January 6, and I can't wait for her to join me.

I wish you luck with the get together. Try to focus on the fun and family time.  I would probably be positive and up beat. Its  good idea to go with a bit of education and fact.  And If they bring up negative stuff like horror stories...   I would say something a little sarcastic but funny like "hmmm like I really needed to hear that  AFTER I had the surgery ha ha... maybe we could change the subject" most of the time they have only heard of RNY surgery and all those complications etc...  sometimes people say ignorant things like "why not do it the natural way..."  

Hope you have a nice time and Happy Holidays...

Decapitation at Christmas = bad idea

But hey, if it happens near the greenbean casserole, you have red & green, right.. right?

Funny!  

Great suggestions too!  I will look for the casserole first thing... 

 I'm at my Mom's house for the holidays.  I'm 4 days post-op, now.  Most everybody knows, most good comments, but even the best come with a reminder of what your are giving up, with an acknowledgement of "I don't think I could do it".    My Dad piped in that he is glad things are going well, but he would still talk me out of it, given the chance.    My reminder to him was the he and almost everybody else in the family has diabetes.  Most all of us are obese.  And a few are disabled with obesity related illnesses.  This surgery was the only sane decision I could have made.  All those obesity related health issues are knocking at my door.  I needed to do something, or simply give in to a long slow miserably death due to weight and diet related complications. 

 Well, everything went just fine.  My mother in law managed to tell almost every family member before I arrived, and the one sister in law who didn't know was only because my mother in law doesn't like her.  Lol.  At first I was mildly amused at the messed up body langaugee and slight discomfort some exhibited, but after just a few minutes decided that I didn't want them feeling werided out so I brought it up.

One brother in law has a very successful RNY a while back, and his wife was the first I chatted with.  They were the host and I just wanted her to know that the food looked and smelled delicious but that I would not be partaking.  She obviously totally understood going throught this process with her hubby already.  My mother in law was like an overexcited chihuahua, gave her something juicy to talke about so I just let her enjoy that.  The sister in law that isn't well liked by the mother in law was floored, confused, clearly not in agreement with the decision however respectful that it was my choice.  Her parents were taken aback, and chose not to engage in any conversation about it politely.  They are pretty rigid overall and I appreciated there strong effort to be polite, if not necessarily understanding.  

Overall it went well and I feel blessed that I was recovered enough from Monday's surgery to attend.  

Happy Holidays all!