Has been so much harder than I anticipated..

Serves me right for thinking this was going to be a lifestyle I could easily adapt to. And how I'd never have a problem getting all my water and or protein in.
When I was pre op I'd read people's posts saying how they did this wrong or that wrong and I'd say well that won't be me.
yet here I am still in the beginning stages of this journey... and it's me.

I was doing so well in the beginning tracking everything and losing well.. now I'm grazing here and there, not getting in the water I should be and it's such a struggle to get all the protein in some days I feel like if I do get my protein up something else like carbs or calories goes up.. I never get nice small numbers across all  my fitness pal somethings's always off kilter.

I'm not losing like I should be and dammit that should be motivation for me right there to really push at it.  I have just started therapy and will be doing some cognitive behaviour modification so I'm really hoping it will work for me. I think I have to have a talk with my hubby too, cuz although I know I can't keep someone else from eating poorly, I can maybe at least keep them from doing around me. It's too hard when there are cakes and pies and cookies and croissants on my counters begging to be bit into.. or if we have to go out to eat and he always wants to choose fast food places.. it's so hard to find something that is relatively ok to eat.. I mean I usually will just get a grilled chicken patty out of the bun and eat it, but there still loaded with sodium and then I have to sit and smell all those 'bad' foods I don't give in to temptation when I'm there but I feel out of place and bummed.

Today is a new day I know and I'm going to start to really try hard to stay positive about this and not let the 'failure thoughts' creep back in and start to sabotage myself like they have in the past with diets.
 
I started this journey with such confidence and I researched researched and researched and knew it wasn't an easy fix yet I'm still struggling.

Sorry for whining.. it doesn't even matter if anyone responds.. I just needed to get this out. 
Not looking for judgement or pity at all.. I know I have it in me to succeed I just need to find it and grab on. 


 

First of all, congrats on the progress. You have to keep that in mind.

Second of all, therapy can hit a nerve and bring you down at first, but you will get a lot out of it.

Third of all, ask your husband to keep his goodies in the pantry or cabinet. Designate a spot that he can get to easily and that you won't use regularly. If it just sits out on the counter, move it to that spot or throw it away.

Fourth, take control. This is not your husband's journey. It is yours.  You are not a victim of his choices. Just because he goes through a drive-thru doesn't mean you have to eat from it.  I'm extremely salt-sensitive. If it eat fast-food, I WILL retain water.  You can bring your own food to eat regardless of where he goes or make a separate stop for you. You must believe that you are worth the extra effort.

Fifth, sometimes you are just not in a good mood.  But in general, you must be kind to yourself.  Being judgemental of others often lead to you being judgemental of yourself which doesn't help your weightloss. Focus on the positive changes and know that the tool is still there waiting on you to maximize it.

hope this helps.  Hang in there.

 It must be incredibly hard for you with your husband not being more supportive.  I am so sorry :(  I imagine this would be like trying to quit smoking but living with a smoker.  

Have you seen the happy meal project or read anything about it?  Maybe if your husband knew the poison he was enjoying so much at these fast food places he woudlnt want to eat there anymore.  I will NEVER put one bite of McDonalds in my body ever again after seeing this.  

Check it out.  This is just one video.  There are lots of other articles about it you google it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehRTrq1P7-8 

Thanks for sharing your story Ruby. It's a great reality check for me. I have not had surgery yet, but I find myself doing the same things that you are talking about. I have been hanging around this site for almost a year now and I am guilty of reading someones post and saying that won't be me. I sometimes find myself rolling my eyes at some of the things I read. I know I have no right, but I still find myself doing it. Surgery is 11 days away and God only knows what I will truly go thru.

 Awesome that you started therapy!  i agree with others- have the hubby put the junk food in a designated area out of site.  I too share the lack of will power issue, but fortunately my family is highly suppotive and are completely ok with ridding the house of all junk food.  (Learned my lesson on a box of Girl Scout cookies.)  Just had a birthday for my son the other day and had the kids buy the $1 size ice creams and asked them to store it in the downstairs freezer.  Upstairs I will struggle, but something about keeping it in the basement makes it doable for me to stay out.  Perhaps there is a place in your house that you don't think about it as much and the hubby can put it there.  

Grazing is difficult.  I am trying to just make one good choice at a time and not letting myself get overwhelmed with the thought of making all good choices for the rest of my days.  One at a time I can do and eventually it all adds up!

You hang in there, Ruby! This is a trial-and-error process for most of us, I'm sure. You will figure out how to make the sleeve work best for you and your situation. Don't be afraid to make whatever bold changes you need to stay on track. After all, getting sleeved is a HUGE decision youve already made to invest in your health and you *are* already succeeding! Best of luck.

Thanks for the reality check - I'm going great in my third week but will be starting so many more activities next week and will be starting real food and I can already tell it will be so much more difficult.I so plan to track. My hubby is being supportive now but we will have to see as we have over 30 years of relating by eating out - not so much fast food but still food. Since he went on disability and I became his full-time caregiver, we have eaten out about every day to get out of the house and because, well, we both love food. I am afraid he will want to revert to this although we have discussed it and he says that he wants to lose weight as well. He is not a good medical candidate for WLS. But my journey is not his so I will have to follow what is best for me - and as a caregiver I am not conditioned to put myself first. We have come up with some activities that will get us out of the house like we both love art museums and haven't been in years. I'll take any other suggestions (he is in a wheelchair but pretty mobile)

So glad you came here to share.  I hope there are pre-ops and newbies that read your post so they also understand it's not all sunshine and rainbows.  And that it's easy to get lulled into the honeymoon phase and jus****ch the pounds drop regarless of what we eat.  But then it gets harder.  That happens early for some and later for others.

I have days I struggle too, but I find writing down my goals, my plans of how to get there and tracking everything (food, exercise, weight, etc) helps me stay focused!

Hugs and good luck... keep us posted!

Good for you for starting therapy -- this journey is 80% mental and 20% physical, even with a great tool like the sleeve.  I think that we all have those "that will never be me" thoughts, but reality is different than the fantasy in our heads. 

We all have issues with food, otherwise we wouldn't have needed to have WLS in the first place.  Therapy has been so helpful to me, not only with food issues and weight loss, but in every other area of my life as well.  For the first time in my life, I am happy with myself and in love with my life.  I only go once a month now, but I learn something about myself every time I go. 

I started therapy 3 years ago when I first considered WLS, and realized that my weight and compulsive eating were symptoms of problems in my life, and not necessarily the problem itself.  Since then, I found a new position at work that suits my personality and skills better, and I have a boss that appreciates me and utilizes my ideas.  I divorced my verbally/emotionally abusive spouse.  I returned to school to work towards a career that will be more rewarding and financially lucrative.  Now I have built a lifestyle that is focused on health and positive emotions in stead of revolving around food.  I got back in touch with the things that bring me joy and comfort, and have stopped engaging in things that produce anxiety, shame or guilt. 

One of the problems that I had with my ex was that we really had very little in common except a love of overeating.  We really did not enjoy doing anything together except for eating out or cooking really unhealthy food at home and eating way too much of it. 

It sounds like you really need to set some boundaries with your spouse surrounding eating, food and your new needs post-op.  You're right to say that you can't control what he eats, but you can control where you are willing to go and what kind of foods you will have in your house.  Many successful people have said that they encourage their spouse to eat whatever they want outside of the home, but don't allow junk and fast food in their house.  In my opinion, your spouse is actively sabotaging you by requesting that you go to fast food restaurants and by bringing home a bunch of stuff that you can't eat.  If you're buying the crap and bringing it home for him, you have serious self-esteem and relationship issues. 

There is absolutely nothing healthy or satisfying for me to eat at most fast food restaurants.  I can make due in a pinch, but really the only fast food meal that I will choose is Chik-fil-a nuggets with carrot raisin salad.  Anything else is crap food that doesn't taste good and doesn't sit well in my sleeve.  Why waste a meal on that?  I would stay home and make myself a healthy, satisfying meal and let my spouse go eat crap food by himself.

I don't think you're whining and I am very happy that you are taking steps to correct the issues that you've identified.  A good counselor will help immensely with those issues.  You are definitely on the right track.