Struggles,successes, and other assorted rambles

 I am about 4.5 months out.  Parts of this journey has been easier than I expected, and others about what I expected.  

Struggles:  
- I still want to eat sugary food and carbs.  I have a persistent problem staying away from these now.  In the first few months I only occasionally imbibed, but now it is normal for me to be between 80-100 grams of carb.  If carbs are a trigger for you, listen to the vets and avoid them and keep avoiding them... it is  struggle daily once you let them creep back in your life.

- Calories now hover around 1000-1100.  Again, listen to the vets as once you adjust up it is hard to adjust down.  I attribute my increse for two reasons.  The first is the larger stomach size that I have- it simply takes more to not be hungry.  4 ounces of a turkey burger at 6 weeks out was filling, now I need to add in some veggies or something to go along with it.  The second reason is my struggle with carbs- it is adding about 200 calories of minimal protein a day.  I am working on substituting with protein more.

- I try not to perservarate on the idea that the weight loss is going to stop.  Why is this so darn hard for me?  

Successes:
- I am a little surprised at my weight loss this month.  The calores and carbs have been relatively high all month, yet my weight loss is about typical.  2 weeks to go and down 11 pounds.  I have been a stair step loser- no loss for weeks then a week of rapid loss.  I think it is enitely possible I don't lose another ounce between now and my 5 month surgiversary, then again perhaps I will.  Either way a succussful month.

- I have lost 72 pounds since surgery.  It has been double digits loss each month and if I can keep that up goal is in 5 months or less.  I have a ways to go, but it feels doable now that I am down to a little over 40 pounds until goal.  6 months ago it felt impossible.  I know it gets harder, but I am ready for it. 

- My habits have truly changed for the better.  I eat significantly healthier, my family eats healthier, and I exercise regulrly now.  I still have some eating issues to work on, but I think starting this summer I will enter therapy if I am still struggling with them.  But the progress made is substantial!

-Holy crap I can't believe how much better I look.  I used to try to tell myself it didn't bother me, but it did.  I am still overweight, but no longer obese.  I look and feel significantly better!

 You seem to know yourself and that is a plus.  A loss of 75 pound is a success

Ok, so your calories and carbs are high.  You're here, looking into yourself, admitting it, trying to hold yourself accountable.  Great start.

Gotta break the carbs - eating carbs leads to wanting sugary foods leads to eating carbs...

How has the rate of your weight loss been in the last few weeks? 

Oh, just read a sentence I missed before - if you really want to head the "advice of vets" (must be said in strong, echo-y form), then I'd super strongly recommend you read Frisco's advice on undereating your sleeve.  I'd be a little worried that you've been able to fill your sleeve up with 4 ounces of dense protein so very soon after surgery - but more so that you're increasing your capacity.   Just because you can eat more doesn't mean to do it!  Don't allow restriction to be your guide on how much to eat.  Measure your food, eat what you're supposed to - that's it.  "Under eat" the sleeve.  Restriction will slowly allow more and more food in over time.  When I was a newbie, I followed Frisco's advice on measuring food, undereating the sleeve, not eating until restriction, and I've done pretty well.

Congrats, you are doing well! I totally understand your struggles as it is terribly hard to change habits and adopt a totally new lifestyle. However you are in tune with what you need to work on so you are already on the right path to permanent changes!

 I hear you Ruggie.  Right out of the gate my capacity was more than a typical sleever.  My surgeon didn't have the normal size bougie available for my surgery so I have a larger sized coupled with the fact that he does not sew tightly.   When I eat it is not typical for me to eat until I am "Thanksgiving full" at all.  I do once in  a while eat too fast and don't give the stomach time to process the full signal, but I almost always avoid this by measuring everything.  

I entirely agree about the carbs and the need to cut them back.  I am working on it :(   

Rate loss over the last couple weeks has been 11 pounds- a typical loss for me.  

If I am on the higher end of calories I am cafeful to make sure I walk a little extra or use the elliptical a bit in addition to the 5 mile walk.  I don't think I would be losing much at if it were not for the walking at least 5 miles a day during the week and 9-10 miles a day on the weekend.  

My situation is also a little different in that I am a cancer patient and was told to put fruit and veggies back in the diet- hence, staying under 40 carbs is tough.  But no excuses, because M&Ms clearly do not count for anything good. 

Well, off to pack the tuna fish, spinach, and strawberries for lunch tomorrow.