Anybody else have non-support from loved ones?
You have YOUR surgery for YOURSELF, soon you'll be out DATING and find a wonderful group of women to go riding HORSES with. You deserve it.....
"Make good choices right now. Discipline doesn't always feel good but later on it yields a harvest in our lives if we make right choices." ~ Joyce Meyer ~
LB 7/2008 LB Removed 2/2012 HW:225 LW:165
Sleeve Date 4/15/2013 / HW:240 SW:228 CW:165 GW:140 HT: 5'2"
I had a long response to this, but I had to erase it because it was getting too ranty lol.
The short version of what I was going to say is please don't feel guilty for putting yourself first for a change. Teens are inherently selfish. They all think the world revolves around them. They aren't programmed to put logic together if that logic doesn't work to their benefit. I see this all the time at work (I teach 9th and 10th grade literature).
Bottom line is, like you said, she's 18 now and it's time for you to take care of you again. It may take her some adjusting now, but I think that when she matures a little more and realizes why you're doing what you're doing, she'll be glad that you did it. Hang in there.
The short version of what I was going to say is please don't feel guilty for putting yourself first for a change. Teens are inherently selfish. They all think the world revolves around them. They aren't programmed to put logic together if that logic doesn't work to their benefit. I see this all the time at work (I teach 9th and 10th grade literature).
Bottom line is, like you said, she's 18 now and it's time for you to take care of you again. It may take her some adjusting now, but I think that when she matures a little more and realizes why you're doing what you're doing, she'll be glad that you did it. Hang in there.
Highest weight: 277 Starting Weight: 250 Surgery Weight: 241 Current Weight: 130
Goal Reached in 10.5 months :)
"I am a single mother and have spent her entire life catering to her every need. " "...She's a total Diva."
Unfortunately, according to these two statements, you are probably getting the care and compassion that you've taught your daughter to give to others. You can't teach a child that the universe revolves around her for 18 years and then suddenly expect that she will develop compassion and empathy for others.
What you can do is assert yourself and stand up for your own needs, express your feelings, and set limits now. Hell, my 6-year-old daughter knows how to find her own snacks, make a sandwich and help out around the house. Buy your daughter some groceries, or better yet, give her money to buy her own, and let her fend for herself. She should have been doing this to an extent for her whole life, but if not, she needs to learn how to do for herself, anyway.
We treat others how to treat us, especially when it comes to our children, so this situation is a great place for you to start teaching your daughter how to treat you with respect.
Unfortunately, according to these two statements, you are probably getting the care and compassion that you've taught your daughter to give to others. You can't teach a child that the universe revolves around her for 18 years and then suddenly expect that she will develop compassion and empathy for others.
What you can do is assert yourself and stand up for your own needs, express your feelings, and set limits now. Hell, my 6-year-old daughter knows how to find her own snacks, make a sandwich and help out around the house. Buy your daughter some groceries, or better yet, give her money to buy her own, and let her fend for herself. She should have been doing this to an extent for her whole life, but if not, she needs to learn how to do for herself, anyway.
We treat others how to treat us, especially when it comes to our children, so this situation is a great place for you to start teaching your daughter how to treat you with respect.
" I am not at all concerned with appearing to be consistent. In my pursuit after Truth I have discarded many ideas and learnt many new things." Ghandi 
I'll take that. I have enabled my daughter for years. I know that the way she is turning out is all my fault. I have been a sheltering and catering single mom her entire childhood. Besides my parents, she has been the only constant in my life. I have catered to her, let her be the diva, and I have leaned on my child as a crutch to give me reason for living. I am not proud of how she acts or how I have acted through the years. I would like to say that I did not raise her to be the way she is, but deep down, I know that unintentionally, I have. Bottom line is, now, as much as it hurts, it is time for change, for me and for her. But it is going to have to start with me. I am going to have to start living for me and leave her to God! Thanks everyone for the constructive critisism and support. I needed both!!
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