HELP What Can I Do -- Who Can I Turn To????

You do have a way with words, Rob!  I thoroughly enjoyed you post -- well, I enjoy, or am rewarded with insight, reading all of your posts.  Often, I hear Daddy in your "voice" -- he was a Southern gentleman, too.

I've joined everything I can and am meeting new people -- it takes time in real life.  Here on OH, it seems that a few exchanges with a lot of the people here bring instant OH friendships.  I'm grateful for that.

After being handed what nearly amounted to a death sentence a few years ago, finding a way to change that became a goal.  This surgery has done wonders already to improve my kidney disease........and the Type II seems to be in total remission already.  This weight loss is something else -- I feel different -- not physically yet -- too much to lose to see that, but mentally.  I have true value just because I'm me. 

The best thing?  I did feel the hurt, I wallowed in it for a bit.  What I DIDN'T do was reach for food!  I'm ecstatic about that.  Only those of us going through this can appreciate how big that is.

I'm staying with my plan -- failure is not an option as the saying goes.  I will use this entire process to learn everything I can.  And you can take it to the bank that I'm holding on to this new life..........when I have lost enough weight and can get whatever plastics I'll need, I'll find a way to make even bigger changes in my life.  This old girl still has a lot of "kick" left in her!

Thanks to good people such as yourself, I know I can do this.  You are probably not aware of how much good you do.  Thanks again.

Hi Italian Princess,

I had VSG last August.  Was doing okay although my wt loss is slow...but I started getting really sloppy with my food plan - wondering why the scale stalled.  I was online one whole day and I kept coming back to the same answer OA.  I had gone to OA years ago, but not lately.  Well I started back again (I'm amazed at the amount of online support with it now), and the scale has started moving again.  I would highly recommend Overeaters Anonymous to anyone who wants help - a wonderful support group.

Good luck & tell that husband of yours to stick a sock in it!

Thanks for sharing your experience with OA.  I found one not too far from me, so I'll investigate and see if that can be a part of my journey.

I'm happy to learn that you're back on your plan.  This tool needs to be used to get us healthier.  Please keep us posted on your progress.

LOL  I think maybe I need to tell him to stick a hand grenade in it!
 

Thank you again

Ree

I no he's your husband and I apologize for the reference I make here.......but don't throw your pearls to Swine.  From that statement he has made it very clear how he feels about  supporting you and sharing in the joy of your success's .  You are doing great!!!  (especially at your age LOL!!)  Just keep moving forward and ignore the ignorance of others.  Great job on your loss!!

Thanks so much.  Yes, he can be quite the oinker without too much effort!

I'm pleased with my progress so far...........I know the second month will probably show slower losses but anything in the right direction is good!

Hahahaha about my age.  I love being a genuine senior citizen.  I'll let you in on a little secret -- I can get away with a few more idiosyncrasies than the young'uns can!

There are blessing we just don't always recognize!!!

Congratulations on your success!!! As far as your husband, what can one say that hasn't already been said? This is your journey and will be full of self-discovery and will include many changes in lifestyle, friendships, and other relationships. Some of the changes will be good, others not so good, but growth always has its painful moments.

Many marriages and relationships do change, when one person has WLS, because it changes you and as a result, it impacts everything and everyone around you. Just remember, you have given yourself a wonderful gift, and if the people around you are not supportive, then you do need to look to external sources, such as support groups, OA, an individual therapist, online support, etc.

Lots of (((Hugs))). If you need to, kick the a** to the curb. You deserve better than that.


Gail

Thank you...........it feels good to be successful with this new tool.

After 42 years, you'd think I'd be used to some of his comments -- but it seems he can always find a way to eke out a little more nastiness when he wants to.

If I were not bound financially, I would kick his tuchas to the curb!  For now, I need to bide my time, get healthier and work on finding the me that has been hidden far to long in this over-sized body. 

I found a chapter of OA in a nearby town -- I'll investigate that..........plus my monthly support group and OH, I should be good to go.

Thanks again -- your kindness is much appreciated.

Ree

 I'm sorry that wasn't just hurtful it was manipulative and downright abusive.  I'm so sorry you don't have support, I'm also very open with everyone and I've NEVER had anyone say anything like that let alone people who are supposed to love you.  I wish I could give you a hug I really do.  You have received wonderful advice here and I hope you reach out and find yourself some support to surround yourself with locally.  And a therapist, I'd really look at a therapist.

I'm grateful for your response.  Sometimes I think I'm too sensitive when I call some of his comments abusive.  It helps to see someone else refer to them that way, too.  I'm not crazy after all.

The advice and support I've received from those *****sponded has been sooooo very good.  I'm blessed.  I'm looking into the nearby chapter of OA -- that could be a good source, too.

Getting released to start back at the gym is helping, too.  It felt good yesterday and the further out I get from the hernia repair surgery, the more I'll be allowed to do.  You are a prime example of how good exercising is for a person.............what a great role model you are!

Thanks again.

Ree

 Well you know our dates were the same and I too lost 26 pounds the first month... my nurse was super impressed as well and said she was so proud of the job I was doing.. Keep up the good work there.. 

Easy... this is anything but easy but you try to tell that to someone who hasn't done this and they will NEVER understand how much your life, body and mind change. Your husband is an ass hole and I would personally not be around someone who is so negative when it comes to his wife and accomplishing such a great thing. 

I on the other hand have no problem suggesting divorce and trying to live a more positive life on your own. I was completely floored to hear what he said to you. I can only hope you didn't sit there quietly and take that abuse from him. 

Anyways you are doing amazing and I know that my surgeons office has a list of support groups out here so that may be your best option to get that mental and emotional support you are obviously not getting from your husband or your mother.. no matter what they say know you are doing awesome and will get healthy and show them that the tool that you have has changed your life.. 

Talk to you soon hun!! 

Amber