HELP!! I feel like such a FRAUD!!!!

It's up to you to tell or not tell. I'm not super secretive with my surgery now that it's over (i was beforehand just because I didn't want the stress of hearing other people's opinions and horror stories). I don't advertise it, but I don't lie either. If it's someone I don't know well I'll use the "eating better and exercising" thing, but if they pressed me I'd proably spill it. The only tough situation so far was that my best guy friend who I talk to daily (and honestly one of my best friends period) asked straight up if I "had my stomach stapled or something". He knew I had been in the hospital, we have eaten together, he sees I've lost weight... it all added up to him. I took a VERY deep breath and admitted it. And you know what he said? "I kinda figured it out. You don't have to hide that from me". He went on to ask several good, intelligent questions over the next couple of days and has since drpped it. And to the best of my knowledge he hasn't told a soul. Even though he was the hardest one to admit it to, it's also been the biggest relief not worrying how to dodge the questions or how to make it look like I'm eating normally when we go out. If it's someone you care about, or even someone you don't particularly care about but see regularly, I would suggest weighing the relief factor against the need to keep it secret. You might just be surprised.

Someone I hadn't seen in a while asked me how I did it and I just said "I had 85% of my stomach removed". There's not much more you can do with that conversation stopper. LOL!

Here's my take - we all know diet and exercise are not always the answer. Otherwise we wouldn't be here, right?  So why perpetuate that horrible myth? Especially to someone who may be struggling with the same issues. 

Besides -  almost every single person I've "come out" to has a friend or relative or someone they know who's had it done and so far everyone's results have been fantastic. My response to your FB friend's comment about the neighbor and the WLS and her opinion on it would be "Well, it's working great for me!". Again - what's she going to say to that? 

People are so strange. They judge you for being fat, and they judge you for losing the weight. It's not up to them to determine if you lost weight the "right" way. So frustrating.

I haven't had surgery yet, but it's really none of anyone's business what I'm doing medically. You know how hard you've worked. You did lose it through diet and exercise. You aren't a fraud. You are someone who changed their life.

Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts and experiences with me. I guess I choose to hide it because for so long I associated my identity with being "the fat person" and I was trying to disassociate myself from identifying myself and my entire existance through being defined by my weight. I thought if I made it a "non-issue" having WLS than the focus would no longer be about my weight but rather just being a person and valued for that reason. I have a hard time accecpting complimnts to this day relating to my weight loss because I feel society focuses way to much on appearance. Its funny that Im the same person on the inside now as I was then, however, I sure am treated differently by ALL! I guess I am just trying and fightinh hard on my new path toward self discovery and reestablishing myself as a worthy person deserving of attention, regardless of my size and I feel by telling everyone I had WLS only hinders my progress but at the same time also holds me back due to that being such a huge part of how I got to where I am today, as I could not do this whithout my VSG. So I guess Im conflicted on how to handle these situations. Thank you evryone or your support. One love!

I tell everybody.

I went to GNC right after surgery to try to find a protein drink that wouldn't make me gag. I told the guy behind the counter what I was looking for and why and the lady in line next to me goes, "Oh me too sweetie, you should try..." and then took me around the store showing me her fave stuff. I tell waitresses and they charge me less or bring me an extra plate to share off family or friend's plates. Co-workers are amazed and always asking me, "How much?" and "You look so goooood!"

For the most part - I've had only positive vibes from everyone.

Except for one person. A friend of mine who is probably over 400lbs. She didn't want me to do the surgery. She was adamant that it was "the easy way out" and even went so far as to tell me she thought it was "a character flaw"...

That stung.

But all I could think was how much she sounded like a drug addict..."I can quit anytime I want. I don't need HELP."

I think THAT is a character flaw...being too proud to admit you have a problem and get help. 

I refuse to be ashamed. I'm proud of myself for doing what was necessary. And I'm proud of myself for being at a point in my life where I really, truly don't CARE what anyone else thinks about it. I needed help. It's not a weakness to admit that.

Anyway - respect for those who chose to keep it private. Just wanted to share my experience with being open, it's not as scary as you might think and I've found it quite liberating.

 I tell anyone who asks what I did to lose weight about my surgery.  I figure it's only for the good.  If more people were honest about having surgery there wouldn't be so much false information out there.  Yes, there are plenty of people who have failed with surgery and those are the ones touted as examples of why surgery isn't "the answer".  However, there are plenty of successful surgeries out there claiming that they're only doing this by diet and exercise that makes it seem that surgery is NOT the way to go and instead it's so easy to just diet and lose the weight.

I haven't had anyone be extremely negative about it (a few sceptical and a few others that mentioned failed examples but that's all) and in fact there are at least 5 more people out there that have had or will be having VSG because they saw what my results were.  I figure if I'd told those 5 that I'd done this by diet and exercise alone that they'd probably still be struggling and wondering what is wrong that they can't make this work for themselvs when i've been successful.

That my friends is only my opinion......you can take it or leave it as you wish.